The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs
revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting. As the landscape
changed from brown to green, the army awakened, and began to tremble with
eagerness at the noise of rumors. It cast its eyes upon the roads, which were
growing from long troughs of liquid mud to proper thoroughfares. A
river, amber-tinted in the shadow of its banks, purled at the army's feet;
and at night, when the stream had become of a sorrowful blackness, one could
see across it the red, eyelike gleam of hostile camp-fires set in the low
brows of distant hills.
Once a certain tall soldier developed virtues and went resolutely to
wash a shirt. He came flying back from a brook waving his garment
bannerlike. He was swelled with a tale he had heard from a reliable
friend, who had heard it from a truthful cavalryman, who had heard it from
his trustworthy brother, one of the orderlies at division headquarters.
He adopted the important air of a herald in red and gold.
"We're goin' t' move t'morrah--sure," he said pompously to a group in
the company street. "We're goin' 'way up the river, cut across, an'
come around in behint 'em."
To his attentive audience he drew a loud and elaborate plan of a very
brilliant campaign. When he had finished, the blue-clothed men
scattered into small arguing groups between the rows of squat brown
huts. A negro teamster who had been dancing upon a cracker box with the
hilarious encouragement of twoscore soldiers was deserted. He sat
mournfully down. Smoke drifted lazily from a multitude of quaint
chimneys.
"It's a lie! that's all it is--a thunderin' lie!" said
another private loudly. His smooth face was flushed, and his hands
were thrust sulkily into his trouser's pockets. He took the matter
as an affront to him. "I don't believe the derned old army's
ever going to move. We're set. I've got ready to move eight
times in the last two weeks, and we ain't moved yet."
The tall soldier felt called upon to defend the truth of a rumor he
himself had introduced. He and the loud one came near to fighting over
it.
A corporal began to swear before the assemblage. He had just put a
costly board floor in his house, he said. During the early spring he
had refrained from adding extensively to the comfort of his environment
because he had felt that the army might start on the march at any
moment. Of late, however, he had been impressed that they were in a
sort of eternal camp.
Many of the men engaged in a spirited debate. One outlined in
a peculiarly lucid manner all the plans of the commanding general. He was
opposed by men who advocated that there were other plans of campaign.
They clamored at each other, numbers making futile bids for the popular
attention. Meanwhile, the soldier who had fetched the rumor bustled
about with much importance. He was continually assailed by
questions.
"What's up, Jim?"
"Th'army's goin' t' move."
"Ah, what yeh talkin' about? How yeh know it is?"
"Well, yeh kin b'lieve me er not, jest as yeh like. I don't care a
hang."
There was much food for thought in the manner in which he replied. He
came near to convincing them by disdaining to produce proofs. They grew much
excited over it.
There was a youthful private who listened with eager ears to the words
of the tall soldier and to the varied comments of his comrades. After
receiving a fill of discussions concerning marches and attacks, he went to
his hut and crawled through an intricate hole that served it as a door.
He wished to be alone with some new thoughts that had lately come to
him.
He lay down on a wide bunk that stretched across the end of the room. In
the other end, cracker boxes were made to serve as furniture. They were
grouped about the fireplace. A picture from an illustrated weekly was
upon the log walls, and three rifles were paralleled on pegs. Equipments hung
on handy projections, and some tin dishes lay upon a small pile of
firewood. A folded tent was serving as a roof. The sunlight, without,
beating upon it, made it glow a light yellow shade. A small window shot an
oblique square of whiter light upon the cluttered floor. The smoke from
the fire at times neglected the clay chimney and wreathed into the room, and
this flimsy chimney of clay and sticks made endless threats to set ablaze the
whole establishment.
The youth was in a little trance of astonishment. So they were at
last going to fight. On the morrow, perhaps, there would be a battle,
and he would be in it. For a time he was obliged to labor to make
himself believe. He could not accept with assurance an omen that he was
about to mingle in one of those great affairs of the earth.
He had, of course, dreamed of battles all his life--of vague and bloody
conflicts that had thrilled him with their sweep and fire. In visions he had
seen himself in many struggles. He had imagined peoples secure in the
shadow of his eagle-eyed prowess. But awake he had regarded battles as
crimson blotches on the pages of the past. He had put them as things of
the bygone with his thought-images of heavy crowns and high castles.
There was a portion of the world's history which he had regarded as the
time of wars, but it, he thought, had been long gone over the horizon and
had disappeared forever.
From his home his youthful eyes had looked upon the war in his own
country with distrust. It must be some sort of a play affair. He had
long despaired of witnessing a Greeklike struggle. Such would be no
more, he had said. Men were better, or more timid. Secular and
religious education had effaced the throat-grappling instinct, or else firm
finance held in check the passions.
He had burned several times to enlist. Tales of great
movements shook the land. They might not be distinctly Homeric, but
there seemed to be much glory in them. He had read of marches,
sieges, conflicts, and he had longed to see it all. His busy mind
had drawn for him large pictures extravagant in color, lurid
with breathless deeds.
But his mother had discouraged him. She had affected to look with
some contempt upon the quality of his war ardor and patriotism. She could
calmly seat herself and with no apparent difficulty give him many hundreds of
reasons why he was of vastly more importance on the farm than on the field of
battle. She had had certain ways of expression that told him that her
statements on the subject came from a deep conviction. Moreover, on her
side, was his belief that her ethical motive in the argument was
impregnable.
At last, however, he had made firm rebellion against this yellow light
thrown upon the color of his ambitions. The newspapers, the gossip of
the village, his own picturings, had aroused him to an uncheckable
degree. They were in truth fighting finely down there. Almost
every day the newspaper printed accounts of a decisive victory.
One night, as he lay in bed, the winds had carried to him the clangoring
of the church bell as some enthusiast jerked the rope frantically to tell the
twisted news of a great battle. This voice of the people rejoicing in the
night had made him shiver in a prolonged ecstasy of excitement. Later,
he had gone down to his mother's room and had spoken thus: "Ma, I'm
going to enlist."
"Henry, don't you be a fool," his mother had replied. She had then
covered her face with the quilt. There was an end to the matter for
that night.
Nevertheless, the next morning he had gone to a town that was near his
mother's farm and had enlisted in a company that was forming there.
When he had returned home his mother was milking the brindle cow. Four
others stood waiting. "Ma, I've enlisted," he had said to her
diffidently. There was a short silence. "The Lord's will be done,
Henry," she had finally replied, and had then continued to milk the brindle
cow.
When he had stood in the doorway with his soldier's clothes on his back,
and with the light of excitement and expectancy in his eyes almost defeating
the glow of regret for the home bonds, he had seen two tears leaving their
trails on his mother's scarred cheeks.
Still, she had disappointed him by saying nothing whatever
about returning with his shield or on it. He had privately
primed himself for a beautiful scene. He had prepared certain
sentences which he thought could be used with touching effect. But
her words destroyed his plans. She had doggedly peeled potatoes
and addressed him as follows: "You watch out, Henry, an' take
good care of yerself in this here fighting business--you watch, an' take
good care of yerself. Don't go a-thinkin' you can lick the hull rebel
army at the start, because yeh can't. Yer jest one little feller
amongst a hull lot of others, and yeh've got to keep quiet an' do what they
tell yeh. I know how you are, Henry.
"I've knet yeh eight pair of socks, Henry, and I've put in all yer best
shirts, because I want my boy to be jest as warm and comf'able as anybody in
the army. Whenever they get holes in 'em, I want yeh to send 'em
right-away back to me, so's I kin dern 'em.
"An' allus be careful an' choose yer comp'ny. There's lots of bad
men in the army, Henry. The army makes 'em wild, and they like nothing
better than the job of leading off a young feller like you, as ain't never
been away from home much and has allus had a mother, an' a-learning 'em to
drink and swear. Keep clear of them folks, Henry. I don't want
yeh to ever do anything, Henry, that yeh would be 'shamed to let me know
about. Jest think as if I was a-watchin' yeh. If yeh keep that in
yer mind allus, I guess yeh'll come out about right.
"Yeh must allus remember yer father, too, child, an' remember he
never drunk a drop of licker in his life, and seldom swore a cross
oath.
"I don't know what else to tell yeh, Henry, excepting that yeh must
never do no shirking, child, on my account. If so be a time comes when
yeh have to be kilt of do a mean thing, why, Henry, don't think of anything
'cept what's right, because there's many a woman has to bear up 'ginst sech
things these times, and the Lord 'll take keer of us all.
"Don't forgit about the socks and the shirts, child; and I've put a cup
of blackberry jam with yer bundle, because I know yeh like it above all
things. Good-by, Henry. Watch out, and be a good boy."
He had, of course, been impatient under the ordeal of this speech. It
had not been quite what he expected, and he had borne it with an air of
irritation. He departed feeling vague relief.
Still, when he had looked back from the gate, he had seen his mother
kneeling among the potato parings. Her brown face, upraised, was stained with
tears, and her spare form was quivering. He bowed his head and went
on, feeling suddenly ashamed of his purposes.
From his home he had gone to the seminary to bid adieu to many
schoolmates. They had thronged about him with wonder and
admiration. He had felt the gulf now between them and had swelled with
calm pride. He and some of his fellows who had donned blue were quite
overwhelmed with privileges for all of one afternoon, and it had been a very
delicious thing. They had strutted.
A certain light-haired girl had made vivacious fun at his
martial spirit, but there was another and darker girl whom he had gazed at
steadfastly, and he thought she grew demure and sad at sight of his blue and
brass. As he had walked down the path between the rows of oaks, he had
turned his head and detected her at a window watching his departure. As
he perceived her, she had immediately begun to stare up through the high tree
branches at the sky. He had seen a good deal of flurry and haste in
her movement as she changed her attitude. He often thought of it.
On the way to Washington his spirit had soared. The regiment
was fed and caressed at station after station until the youth had believed
that he must be a hero. There was a lavish expenditure of bread and
cold meats, coffee, and pickles and cheese. As he basked in the smiles
of the girls and was patted and complimented by the old men, he had felt
growing within him the strength to do mighty deeds of arms.
After complicated journeyings with many pauses, there had come months of
monotonous life in a camp. He had had the belief that real war was a
series of death struggles with small time in between for sleep and meals; but
since his regiment had come to the field the army had done little but sit
still and try to keep warm.
He was brought then gradually back to his old ideas.
Greeklike struggles would be no more. Men were better, or more
timid. Secular and religious education had effaced the
throat-grappling instinct, or else firm finance held in check the
passions.
He had grown to regard himself merely as a part of a vast
blue demonstration. His province was to look out, as far as he
could, for his personal comfort. For recreation he could twiddle
his thumbs and speculate on the thoughts which must agitate the minds of
the generals. Also, he was drilled and drilled and reviewed, and
drilled and drilled and reviewed.
The only foes he had seen were some pickets along the river bank. They
were a sun-tanned, philosophical lot, who sometimes shot reflectively at the
blue pickets. When reproached for this afterward, they usually
expressed sorrow, and swore by their gods that the guns had exploded without
their permission. The youth, on guard duty one night, conversed across
the stream with one of them. He was a slightly ragged man, who spat
skillfully between his shoes and possessed a great fund of bland
and infantile assurance. The youth liked him personally.
"Yank," the other had informed him, "yer a right dum good feller." This
sentiment, floating to him upon the still air, had made him temporarily
regret war.
Various veterans had told him tales. Some talked of
gray, bewhiskered hordes who were advancing with relentless curses and
chewing tobacco with unspeakable valor; tremendous bodies of fierce soldiery
who were sweeping along like the Huns. Others spoke of tattered and
eternally hungry men who fired despondent powders. "They'll charge
through hell's fire an' brimstone t' git a holt on a haversack, an' sech
stomachs ain't a'lastin' long," he was told. From the stories, the
youth imagined the red, live bones sticking out through slits in the faded
uniforms.
Still, he could not put a whole faith in veteran's tales, for recruits
were their prey. They talked much of smoke, fire, and blood, but he
could not tell how much might be lies. They persistently yelled "Fresh fish!"
at him, and were in no wise to be trusted.
However, he perceived now that it did not greatly matter what kind of
soldiers he was going to fight, so long as they fought, which fact no one
disputed. There was a more serious problem. He lay in his bunk
pondering upon it. He tried to mathematically prove to himself that he
would not run from a battle.
Previously he had never felt obliged to wrestle too seriously with this
question. In his life he had taken certain things for granted, never
challenging his belief in ultimate success, and bothering little about means
and roads. But here he was confronted with a thing of moment. It
had suddenly appeared to him that perhaps in a battle he might run. He
was forced to admit that as far as war was concerned he knew nothing of
himself.
A sufficient time before he would have allowed the problem to kick its
heels at the outer portals of his mind, but now he felt compelled to give
serious attention to it.
A little panic-fear grew in his mind. As his imagination
went forward to a fight, he saw hideous possibilities. He
contemplated the lurking menaces of the future, and failed in an effort
to see himself standing stoutly in the midst of them. He
recalled his visions of broken-bladed glory, but in the shadow of
the impending tumult he suspected them to be impossible pictures.
He sprang from the bunk and began to pace nervously to and fro. "Good
Lord, what's th' matter with me?" he said aloud.
He felt that in this crisis his laws of life were useless. Whatever he
had learned of himself was here of no avail. He was an unknown
quantity. He saw that he would again be obliged to experiment as he had
in early youth. He must accumulate information of himself, and
meanwhile he resolved to remain close upon his guard lest those qualities of
which he knew nothing should everlastingly disgrace him. "Good
Lord!" he repeated in dismay.
After a time the tall soldier slid dexterously through the hole. The
loud private followed. They were wrangling.
"That's all right," said the tall soldier as he entered. He waved his
hand expressively. "You can believe me or not, jest as you like.
All you got to do is sit down and wait as quiet as you can. Then pretty
soon you'll find out I was right."
His comrade grunted stubbornly. For a moment he seemed to
be searching for a formidable reply. Finally he said: "Well,
you don't know everything in the world, do you?"
"Didn't say I knew everything in the world," retorted the other
sharply. He began to stow various articles snugly into his knapsack.
The youth, pausing in his nervous walk, looked down at the
busy figure. "Going to be a battle, sure, is there, Jim?" he
asked.
"Of course there is," replied the tall soldier. "Of course there
is. You jest wait 'til to-morrow, and you'll see one of the biggest
battles ever was. You jest wait."
"Thunder!" said the youth.
"Oh, you'll see fighting this time, my boy, what'll be
regular out-and-out fighting," added the tall soldier, with the air of
a man who is about to exhibit a battle for the benefit of his friends.
"Huh!" said the loud one from a corner.
"Well," remarked the youth, "like as not this story'll turn out jest
like them others did."
"Not much it won't," replied the tall soldier, exasperated. "Not much it
won't. Didn't the cavalry all start this morning?" He glared about
him. No one denied his statement. "The cavalry started this
morning," he continued. "They say there ain't hardly any cavalry left
in camp. They're going to Richmond, or some place, while we fight all
the Johnnies. It's some dodge like that. The regiment's got
orders, too. A feller what seen 'em go to headquarters told me a little
while ago. And they're raising blazes all over camp--anybody can see
that."
"Shucks!" said the loud one.
The youth remained silent for a time. At last he spoke to the tall
soldier. "Jim!"
"What?"
"How do you think the reg'ment 'll do?"
"Oh, they'll fight all right, I guess, after they once get into it,"
said the other with cold judgment. He made a fine use of the third
person. "There's been heaps of fun poked at 'em because they're new, of
course, and all that; but they'll fight all right, I guess."
"Think any of the boys 'll run?" persisted the youth.
"Oh, there may be a few of 'em run, but there's them kind in every
regiment, 'specially when they first goes under fire," said the other in a
tolerant way. "Of course it might happen that the hull kit-and-boodle
might start and run, if some big fighting came first-off, and then again they
might stay and fight like fun. But you can't bet on nothing. Of
course they ain't never been under fire yet, and it ain't likely they'll lick
the hull rebel army all-to-oncet the first time; but I think they'll fight
better than some, if worse than others. That's the way I figger.
They call the reg'ment 'Fresh fish' and everything; but the boys come of good
stock, and most of 'em 'll fight like sin after they oncet git shootin'," he
added, with a mighty emphasis on the last four words.
"Oh, you think you know--" began the loud soldier with scorn.
The other turned savagely upon him. They had a rapid altercation,
in which they fastened upon each other various strange epithets.
The youth at last interrupted them. "Did you ever think you might
run yourself, Jim?" he asked. On concluding the sentence he laughed as
if he had meant to aim a joke. The loud soldier also giggled.
The tall private waved his hand. "Well", said he profoundly, "I've
thought it might get too hot for Jim Conklin in some of them scrimmages, and
if a whole lot of boys started and run, why, I s'pose I'd start and
run. And if I once started to run, I'd run like the devil, and no
mistake. But if everybody was a-standing and a-fighting, why, I'd stand
and fight. Be jiminey, I would. I'll bet on it."
"Huh!" said the loud one.
The youth of this tale felt gratitude for these words of
his comrade. He had feared that all of the untried men
possessed great and correct confidence. He now was in a measure
reassured.
Chapter 2
The next morning the youth discovered that his tall comrade had been the
fast-flying messenger of a mistake. There was much scoffing at the
latter by those who had yesterday been firm adherents of his views, and there
was even a little sneering by men who had never believed the rumor. The
tall one fought with a man from Chatfield Corners and beat him
severely.
The youth felt, however, that his problem was in no wise lifted from
him. There was, on the contrary, an irritating prolongation. The tale
had created in him a great concern for himself. Now, with the newborn
question in his mind, he was compelled to sink back into his old place as
part of a blue demonstration.
For days he made ceaseless calculations, but they were all wondrously
unsatisfactory. He found that he could establish nothing. He
finally concluded that the only way to prove himself was to go into the
blaze, and then figuratively to watch his legs to discover their merits and
faults. He reluctantly admitted that he could not sit still and with a
mental slate and pencil derive an answer. To gain it, he must have
blaze, blood, and danger, even as a chemist requires this, that, and
the other. So he fretted for an opportunity.
Meanwhile, he continually tried to measure himself by
his comrades. The tall soldier, for one, gave him some
assurance. This man's serene unconcern dealt him a measure of
confidence, for he had known him since childhood, and from his
intimate knowledge he did not see how he could be capable of anything that
was beyond him, the youth. Still, he thought that his comrade might be
mistaken about himself. Or, on the other hand, he might be a man
heretofore doomed to peace and obscurity, but, in reality, made to shine in
war.
The youth would have liked to have discovered another who suspected
himself. A sympathetic comparison of mental notes would have been a joy
to him.
He occasionally tried to fathom a comrade with
seductive sentences. He looked about to find men in the proper
mood. All attempts failed to bring forth any statement which looked in any
way like a confession to those doubts which he privately acknowledged in
himself. He was afraid to make an open declaration of his concern,
because he dreaded to place some unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane
of the unconfessed from which elevation he could be derided.
In regard to his companions his mind wavered between two
opinions, according to his mood. Sometimes he inclined to believing
them all heroes. In fact, he usually admired in secret the
superior development of the higher qualities in others. He could
conceive of men going very insignificantly about the world bearing a
load of courage unseen, and although he had known many of his
comrades through boyhood, he began to fear that his judgment of them
had been blind. Then, in other moments, he flouted these theories,
and assured him that his fellows were all privately wondering and
quaking.
His emotions made him feel strange in the presence of men who
talked excitedly of a prospective battle as of a drama they were about to
witness, with nothing but eagerness and curiosity apparent in their
faces. It was often that he suspected them to be liars.
He did not pass such thoughts without severe condemnation of himself. He
dinned reproaches at times. He was convicted by himself of
many shameful crimes against the gods of traditions.
In his great anxiety his heart was continually clamoring at what he
considered the intolerable slowness of the generals. They seemed content to
perch tranquilly on the river bank, and leave him bowed down by the weight of
a great problem. He wanted it settled forthwith. He could not long bear
such a load, he said. Sometimes his anger at the commanders reached an
acute stage, and he grumbled about the camp like a veteran.
One morning, however, he found himself in the ranks of his prepared
regiment. The men were whispering speculations and recounting the old
rumors. In the gloom before the break of the day their uniforms glowed
a deep purple hue. From across the river the red eyes were still
peering. In the eastern sky there was a yellow patch like a rug laid
for the feet of the coming sun; and against it, black and patternlike, loomed
the gigantic figure of the colonel on a gigantic horse.
From off in the darkness came the trampling of feet. The
youth could occasionally see dark shadows that moved like monsters. The
regiment stood at rest for what seemed a long time. The youth grew
impatient. It was unendurable the way these affairs were managed. He
wondered how long they were to be kept waiting.
As he looked all about him and pondered upon the mystic gloom, he began
to believe that at any moment the ominous distance might be aflare, and the
rolling crashes of an engagement come to his ears. Staring once at the red
eyes across the river, he conceived them to be growing larger, as the orbs of
a row of dragons advancing. He turned toward the colonel and saw him lift his
gigantic arm and calmly stroke his mustache.
At last he heard from along the road at the foot of the hill the clatter
of a horse's galloping hoofs. It must be the coming of orders. He bent
forward, scarce breathing. The exciting clickety-click, as it grew
louder and louder, seemed to be beating upon his soul. Presently a horseman
with jangling equipment drew rein before the colonel of the regiment.
The two held a short, sharp-worded conversation. The men in the foremost
ranks craned their necks.
As the horseman wheeled his animal and galloped away he turned to shout
over his shoulder, "Don't forget that box of cigars!" The colonel mumbled in
reply. The youth wondered what a box of cigars had to do with
war.
A moment later the regiment went swinging off into the darkness. It was
now like one of those moving monsters wending with many feet. The air was
heavy, and cold with dew. A mass of wet grass, marched upon, rustled
like silk.
There was an occasional flash and glimmer of steel from the backs of all
these huge crawling reptiles. From the road came creakings and
grumblings as some surly guns were dragged away.
The men stumbled along still muttering speculations. There was
a subdued debate. Once a man fell down, and as he reached for
his rifle a comrade, unseeing, trod upon his hand. He of the
injured fingers swore bitterly, and aloud. A low, tittering laugh
went among his fellows.
Presently they passed into a roadway and marched forward with easy
strides. A dark regiment moved before them, and from behind also came
the tinkle of equipments on the bodies of marching men.
The rushing yellow of the developing day went on behind their
backs. When the sunrays at last struck full and mellowingly upon the
earth, the youth saw that the landscape was streaked with two long,
thin, black columns which disappeared on the brow of a hill in front
and rearward vanished in a wood. They were like two serpents
crawling from the cavern of the night.
The river was not in view. The tall soldier burst into praises of
what he thought to be his powers of perception.
Some of the tall one's companions cried with emphasis that they,
too, had evolved the same thing, and they congratulated themselves upon
it. But there were others who said that the tall one's plan was not
the true one at all. They persisted with other theories.
There was a vigorous discussion.
The youth took no part in them. As he walked along in
careless line he was engaged with his own eternal debate. He could
not hinder himself from dwelling upon it. He was despondent
and sullen, and threw shifting glances about him. He looked
ahead, often expecting to hear from the advance the rattle of firing.
But the long serpents crawled slowly from hill to hill without bluster
of smoke. A dun-colored cloud of dust floated away to the right.
The sky overhead was of a fairy blue.
The youth studied the faces of his companions, ever on the watch to
detect kindred emotions. He suffered disappointment. Some ardor of the
air which was causing the veteran commands to move with glee--almost with
song--had infected the new regiment. The men began to speak of victory as of
a thing they knew. Also, the tall soldier received his vindication.
They were certainly going to come around in behind the enemy. They
expressed commiseration for that part of the army which had been left upon
the river bank, felicitating themselves upon being a part of a blasting
host.
The youth, considering himself as separated from the others, was
saddened by the blithe and merry speeches that went from rank to rank.
The company wags all made their best endeavors. The regiment tramped to the
tune of laughter.
The blatant soldier often convulsed whole files by his biting sarcasms
aimed at the tall one.
And it was not long before all the men seemed to forget their
mission. Whole brigades grinned in unison, and regiments laughed.
A rather fat soldier attempted to pilfer a horse from a dooryard. He
planned to load his knapsack upon it. He was escaping with his prize
when a young girl rushed from the house and grabbed the animal's mane.
There followed a wrangle. The young girl, with pink cheeks and shining
eyes, stood like a dauntless statue.
The observant regiment, standing at rest in the roadway, whooped at
once, and entered whole-souled upon the side of the maiden. The men became so
engrossed in this affair that they entirely ceased to remember their own
large war. They jeered the piratical private, and called attention to
various defects in his personal appearance; and they were wildly enthusiastic
in support of the young girl.
To her, from some distance, came bold advice. "Hit him with a
stick."
There were crows and catcalls showered upon him when he
retreated without the horse. The regiment rejoiced at his
downfall. Loud and vociferous congratulations were showered upon the
maiden, who stood panting and regarding the troops with defiance.
At nightfall the column broke into regimental pieces, and the
fragments went into the fields to camp. Tents sprang up like strange
plants. Camp fires, like red, peculiar blossoms, dotted the night.
The youth kept from intercourse with his companions as much
as circumstances would allow him. In the evening he wandered a
few paces into the gloom. From this little distance the many
fires, with the black forms of men passing to and fro before the crimson
rays, made weird and satanic effects.
He lay down in the grass. The blades pressed tenderly against his
cheek. The moon had been lighted and was hung in a treetop. The liquid
stillness of the night enveloping him made him feel vast pity for
himself. There was a caress in the soft winds; and the whole mood of
the darkness, he thought, was one of sympathy for himself in his
distress.
He wished, without reserve, that he was at home again making the endless
rounds from the house to the barn, from the barn to the fields, from the
fields to the barn, from the barn to the house. He remembered he had so often
cursed the brindle cow and her mates, and had sometimes flung milking
stools. But, from his present point of view, there was a halo of
happiness about each of their heads, and he would have sacrificed all the
brass buttons on the continent to have been enabled to return to them. He
told himself that he was not formed for a soldier. And he mused
seriously upon the radical differences between himself and those men who were
dodging implike around the fires.
As he mused thus he heard the rustle of grass, and, upon turning his
head, discovered the loud soldier. He called out, "Oh, Wilson!"
The latter approached and looked down. "Why, hello, Henry; is it
you? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, thinking," said the youth.
The other sat down and carefully lighted his pipe. "You're
getting blue my boy. You're looking thundering peek-ed. What the
dickens is wrong with you?"
"Oh, nothing," said the youth.
The loud soldier launched then into the subject of the anticipated
fight. "Oh, we've got 'em now!" As he spoke his boyish face was
wreathed in a gleeful smile, and his voice had an exultant ring. "We've
got 'em now. At last, by the eternal thunders, we'll like 'em
good!"
"If the truth was known," he added, more soberly, "they've licked US
about every clip up to now; but this time--this time--we'll lick 'em
good!"
"I thought you was objecting to this march a little while ago," said the
youth coldly.
"Oh, it wasn't that," explained the other. "I don't mind marching,
if there's going to be fighting at the end of it. What I hate is this getting
moved here and moved there, with no good coming of it, as far as I can see,
excepting sore feet and damned short rations."
"Well, Jim Conklin says we'll get plenty of fighting this time."
"He's right for once, I guess, though I can't see how it come. This time
we're in for a big battle, and we've got the best end of it, certain
sure. Gee rod! how we will thump 'em!"
He arose and began to pace to and fro excitedly. The thrill of his
enthusiasm made him walk with an elastic step. He was sprightly,
vigorous, fiery in his belief in success. He looked into the future
with clear proud eye, and he swore with the air of an old soldier.
The youth watched him for a moment in silence. When he
finally spoke his voice was as bitter as dregs. "Oh, you're going to
do great things, I s'pose!"
The loud soldier blew a thoughtful cloud of smoke from his pipe. "Oh, I
don't know," he remarked with dignity; "I don't know. I s'pose I'll do as
well as the rest. I'm going to try like thunder." He evidently
complimented himself upon the modesty of this statement.
"How do you know you won't run when the time comes?" asked the youth.
"Run?" said the loud one; "run?--of course not!" He laughed.
"Well," continued the youth, "lots of good-a-'nough men have thought
they was going to do great things before th fight, but when the time come
they skedaddled."
"Oh, that's all true, I s'pose," replied the other; "but I'm not going
to skedaddle. The man that bets on my running will lose his money,
that's all." He nodded confidently.
"Oh, shucks!" said the youth. "You ain't the bravest man in the
world, are you?"
"No, I ain't," exclaimed the loud soldier indignantly; "and I didn't say
I was the bravest man in the world, neither. I said I was going to do my
share of fighting--that's what I said. And I am, too. Who are you,
anyhow? You talk as if you thought you was Napoleon Bonaparte."
He glared at the youth for a moment, and then strode away.
The youth called in a savage voice after his comrade: "Well,
you needn't git mad about it!" But the other continued on his
way and made no reply.
He felt alone in space when his injured comrade had disappeared. His
failure to discover any mite of resemblance in their viewpoints made him more
miserable than before. No one seemed to be wrestling with such a
terrific personal problem. He was a mental outcast.
He went slowly to his tent and stretched himself on a blanket by the
side of the snoring tall soldier. In the darkness he saw visions of a
thousand-tongued fear that would babble at his back and cause him to flee,
while others were going coolly about their country's business. He
admitted that he would not be able to cope with this monster. He felt
that every nerve in his body would be an ear to hear the voices, while other
men would remain stolid and deaf.
And as he sweated with the pain of these thoughts, he could hear low,
serene sentences. "I'll bid five." "Make it six."
"Seven." "Seven goes."
He stared at the red, shivering reflection of a fire on the white wall
of his tent until, exhausted and ill from the monotony of his suffering, he
fell asleep.
Chapter 3
When another night came, the columns, changed to purple streaks, filed
across two pontoon bridges. A glaring fire wine-tinted the waters of
the river. Its rays, shining upon the moving masses of troops, brought
forth here and there sudden gleams of silver or gold. Upon the other shore a
dark and mysterious range of hills was curved against the sky. The
insect voices of the night sang solemnly.
After this crossing the youth assured himself that at any moment they
might be suddenly and fearfully assaulted from the caves of the lowering
woods. He kept his eyes watchfully upon the darkness.
But his regiment went unmolested to a camping place, and its soldiers
slept the brave sleep of wearied men. In the morning they were routed
out with early energy, and hustled along a narrow road that led deep into the
forest.
It was during this rapid march that the regiment lost many of the marks
of a new command.
The men had begun to count the miles upon their fingers, and they grew
tired. "Sore feet an' damned short rations, that's all," said the loud
soldier. There was perspiration and grumblings. After a time they began
to shed their knapsacks. Some tossed them unconcernedly down; others
hid them carefully, asserting their plans to return for them at some
convenient time. Men extricated themselves from thick shirts. Presently
few carried anything but their necessary clothing, blankets,
haversacks, canteens, and arms and ammunition. "You can now eat and
shoot," said the tall soldier to the youth. "That's all you want to
do."
There was sudden change from the ponderous infantry of theory to the
light and speedy infantry of practice. The regiment, relieved of a
burden, received a new impetus. But there was much loss of valuable
knapsacks, and, on the whole, very good shirts.
But the regiment was not yet veteranlike in appearance.
Veteran regiments in the army were likely to be very small aggregations of
men. Once, when the command had first come to the field, some
perambulating veterans, noting the length of their column, had accosted them
thus: "Hey, fellers, what brigade is that?" And when the men had
replied that they formed a regiment and not a brigade, the older soldiers had
laughed, and said, "O Gawd!"
Also, there was too great a similarity in the hats. The hats of a
regiment should properly represent the history of headgear for a period of
years. And, moreover, there were no letters of faded gold speaking from
the colors. They were new and beautiful, and the color bearer
habitually oiled the pole.
Presently the army again sat down to think. The odor of
the peaceful pines was in the men's nostrils. The sound
of monotonous axe blows rang through the forest, and the insects, nodding
upon their perches, crooned like old women. The youth returned to his
theory of a blue demonstration.
One gray dawn, however, he was kicked in the leg by the tall soldier,
and then, before he was entirely awake, he found himself running down a wood
road in the midst of men who were panting from the first effects of
speed. His canteen banged rythmically upon his thigh, and his haversack
bobbed softly. His musket bounced a trifle from his shoulder at each
stride and made his cap feel uncertain upon his head.
He could hear the men whisper jerky sentences: "Say--what's
all this--about?" "What th' thunder--we--skedaddlin' this way
fer?" "Billie--keep off m' feet. Yeh run--like a cow." And the
loud soldier's shrill voice could be heard: "What th'devil they
in sich a hurry for?"
The youth thought the damp fog of early morning moved from the rush of a
great body of troops. From the distance came a sudden spatter of
firing.
He was bewildered. As he ran with his comrades he
strenuously tried to think, but all he knew was that if he fell down
those coming behind would tread upon him. All his faculties
seemed to be needed to guide him over and past obstructions. He
felt carried along by a mob.
The sun spread disclosing rays, and, one by one, regiments burst into
view like armed men just born of the earth. The youth perceived that
the time had come. He was about to be measured. For a moment he felt in
the face of his great trial like a babe, and the flesh over his heart seemed
very thin. He seized time to look about him calculatingly.
But he instantly saw that it would be impossible for him to escape from
the regiment. It inclosed him. And there were iron laws of
tradition and law on four sides. He was in a moving box.
As he perceived this fact it occurred to him that he had never wished to
come to the war. He had not enlisted of his free will. He had been
dragged by the merciless government. And now they were taking him out
to be slaughtered.
The regiment slid down a bank and wallowed across a little stream. The
mournful current moved slowly on, and from the water, shaded black, some
white bubble eyes looked at the men.
As they climbed the hill on the farther side artillery began to
boom. Here the youth forgot many things as he felt a sudden impulse of
curiosity. He scrambled up the bank with a speed that could not be exceeded
by a bloodthirsty man.
He expected a battle scene.
There were some little fields girted and squeezed by a forest. Spread
over the grass and in among the tree trunks, he could see knots and waving
lines of skirmishers who were running hither and thither and firing at the
landscape. A dark battle line lay upon a sunstruck clearing that
gleamed orange color. A flag fluttered.
Other regiments floundered up the bank. The brigade was formed in
line of battle, and after a pause started slowly through the woods in the
rear of the receding skirmishers, who were continually melting into the scene
to appear again farther on. They were always busy as bees, deeply absorbed in
their little combats.
The youth tried to observe everything. He did not use care
to avoid trees and branches, and his forgotten feet were
constantly knocking against stones or getting entangled in briers. He
was aware that these battalions with their commotions were woven red and
startling into the gentle fabric of softened greens and browns. It looked to
be a wrong place for a battle field.
The skirmishers in advance fascinated him. Their shots
into thickets and at distant and prominent trees spoke to him
of tragedies--hidden, mysterious, solemn.
Once the line encountered the body of a dead soldier. He lay upon
his back staring at the sky. He was dressed in an awkward suit of
yellowish brown. The youth could see that the soles of his shoes had
been worn to the thinness of writing paper, and from a great rent in one the
dead foot projected piteously. And it was as if fate had betrayed the
soldier. In death it exposed to his enemies that poverty which in life
he had perhaps concealed from his friends.
The ranks opened covertly to avoid the corpse. The
invulnerable dead man forced a way for himself. The youth looked keenly
at the ashen face. The wind raised the tawny beard. It moved as
if a hand were stroking it. He vaguely desired to walk around
and around the body and stare; the impulse of the living to try to read in
dead eyes the answer to the Question.
During the march the ardor which the youth had acquired when out of view
of the field rapidly faded to nothing. His curiosity was quite easily
satisfied. If an intense scene had caught him with its wild swing as he
came to the top of the bank, he might have gone gone roaring on. This
advance upon Nature was too calm. He had opportunity to reflect. He had
time in which to wonder about himself and to attempt to probe his
sensations.
Absurd ideas took hold upon him. He thought that he did not relish
the landscape. It threatened him. A coldness swept over his back,
and it is true that his trousers felt to him that they were no fit for his
legs at all.
A house standing placidly in distant fields had to him an ominous
look. The shadows of the woods were formidable. He was certain that in
this vista there lurked fierce-eyed hosts. The swift thought came to
him that the generals did not know what they were about. It was all a
trap. Suddenly those close forests would bristle with rifle
barrels. Ironlike brigades would appear in the rear. They were all
going to be sacrificed. The generals were stupids. The enemy
would presently swallow the whole command. He glared about
him, expecting to see the stealthy approach of his death.
He thought that he must break from the ranks and harangue his
comrades. They must not all be killed like pigs; and he was sure it would
come to pass unless they were informed of these dangers. The generals
were idiots to send them marching into a regular pen. There was but
one pair of eyes in the corps. He would step forth and make a
speech. Shrill and passionate words came to his lips.
The line, broken into moving fragments by the ground, went calmly
on through fields and woods. The youth looked at the men nearest
him, and saw, for the most part, expressions of deep interest, as if they
were investigating something that had fascinated them. One or two stepped
with overvaliant airs as if they were already plunged into war. Others
walked as upon thin ice. The greater part of the untested men appeared quiet
and absorbed. They were going to look at war, the red animal--war, the
blood-swollen god. And they were deeply engrossed in this march.
As he looked the youth gripped his outcry at his throat. He saw that
even if the men were tottering with fear they would laugh at his
warning. They would jeer him, and, if practicable, pelt him with
missiles. Admitting that he might be wrong, a frenzied declamation of
the kind would turn him into a worm.
He assumed, then, the demeanor of one who knows that he is doomed alone
to unwritten responsibilities. He lagged, with tragic glances at the
sky.
He was surprised presently by the young lieutenant of his company, who
began heartily to beat him with a sword, calling out in a loud and insolent
voice: "Come, young man, get up into ranks there. No skulking 'll do
here." He mended his pace with suitable haste. And he hated the
lieutenant, who had no appreciation of fine minds. He was a mere brute.
After a time the brigade was halted in the cathedral light of a
forest. The busy skirmishers were still popping. Through the aisles of
the wood could be seen the floating smoke from their rifles. Sometimes it
went up in little balls, white and compact.
During this halt many men in the regiment began erecting tiny hills in
front of them. They used stones sticks, earth, and anything they
thought might turn a bullet. Some built comparatively large ones, while
others seems content with little ones.
This procedure caused a discussion among the men. Some wished
to fight like duelists, believing it to be correct to stand erect and
be, from their feet to their foreheads, a mark. They said they
scorned the devices of the cautious. But the others scoffed in
reply, and pointed to the veterans on the flanks who were digging at
the ground like terriers. In a short time there was quite a
barricade along the regimental fronts. Directly, however, they were
ordered to withdraw from that place.
This astounded the youth. He forgot his stewing over the advance
movement. "Well, then, what did they march us out here for?" he
demanded of the tall soldier. The latter with calm faith began a heavy
explanation, although he had been compelled to leave a little protection of
stones and dirt to which he had devoted much care and skill.
When the regiment was aligned in another position each man's regard for
his safety caused another line of small intrenchments. They ate their noon
meal behind a third one. They were moved from this one also. They
were marched from place to place with apparent aimlessness.
The youth had been taught that a man became another thing
in battle. He saw his salvation in such a change. Hence
this waiting was an ordeal to him. He was in a fever of
impatience. He considered that there was denoted a lack of purpose on
the part of the generals. He began to complain to the tall
soldier. "I can't stand this much longer," he cried. "I don't see
what good it does to make us wear out our legs for nothin'." He
wished to return to camp, knowing that this affair was a blue
demonstration; or else to go into a battle and discover that he had been a
fool in his doubts, and was, in truth, a man of traditional courage. The
strain of present circumstances he felt to be intolerable.
The philosophical tall soldier measured a sandwich of cracker and pork
and swallowed it in a nonchalant manner. "Oh, I suppose we must go
reconnoitering around the country jest to keep 'em from getting too close, or
to develop 'em, or something."
"Huh!" said the loud soldier.
"Well," cried the youth, still fidgeting, "I'd rather do anything 'most
than go tramping 'round the country all day doing no good to nobody and jest
tiring ourselves out."
"So would I," said the loud soldier. "It ain't right. I
tell you if anybody with any sense was a-runnin' this army it--"
"Oh, shut up!" roared the tall private. "You little fool.
You little damn' cuss. You ain't had that there coat and them
pants on for six months, and yet you talk as if--"
"Well, I wanta do some fighting anyway," interrupted the other. "I
didn't come here to walk. I could 'ave walked to home - 'round an'
'round the barn, if I jest wanted to walk."
The tall one, red-faced, swallowed another sandwich as if taking poison
in despair.
But gradually, as he chewed, his face became again quiet
and contented. He could not rage in fierce argument in the
presence of such sandwiches. During his meals he always wore an air
of blissful contemplation of the food he had swallowed. His
spirit seemed then to be communing with the viands.
He accepted new environment and circumstance with great coolness, eating
from his haversack at every opportunity. On the march he went along
with the stride of a hunter, objecting to neither gait nor distance.
And he had not raised his voice when he had been ordered away from three
little protective piles of earth and stone, each of which had been an
engineering feat worthy of being made sacred to the name of his
grandmother.
In the afternoon, the regiment went out over the same ground it had
taken in the morning. The landscape then ceased to threaten the
youth. He had been close to it and become familiar with it.
When, however, they began to pass into a new region, his old fears of
stupidity and incompetence reassailed him, but this time he doggedly let them
babble. He was occupied with his problem, and in his deperation he
concluded that the stupidity did not greatly matter.
Once he thought he had concluded that it would be better to get killed
directly and end his troubles. Regarding death thus out of the corner
of his eye, he conceived it to be nothing but rest, and he was filled with a
momentary astonishment that he should have made an extraordinary commotion
over the mere matter of getting killed. He would die; he would go to some
place where he would be understood. It was useless to expect appreciation of
his profound and fine sense from such men as the lieutenant. He must
look to the grave for comprehension.
The skirmish fire increased to a long clattering sound. With
it was mingled far-away cheering. A battery spoke.
Directly the youth could see the skirmishers running. They
were pursued by the sound of musketry fire. After a time the
hot, dangerous flashes of the rifles were visible. Smoke clouds
went slowly and insolently across the fields like observant phantoms. The
din became crescendo, like the roar of an oncoming train.
A brigade ahead of them and on the right went into action with a rending
roar. It was as if it had exploded. And thereafter it lay
stretched in the distance behind a long gray wall, that one was obliged to
look twice at to make sure that it was smoke.
The youth, forgetting his neat plan of getting killed, gazed spell
bound. His eyes grew wide and busy with the action of the scene. His
mouth was a little ways open.
Of a sudden he felt a heavy and sad hand laid upon his
shoulder. Awakening from his trance of observation he turned and
beheld the loud soldier.
"It's my first and last battle, old boy," said the latter, with intense
gloom. He was quite pale and his girlish lip was trembling.
"Eh?" murmured the youth in great astonishment.
"It's my first and last battle, old boy," continued the
loud soldier. "Something tells me--"
"What?"
"I'm a gone coon this first time and--and I w-want you to take these
here things--to--my--folks." He ended in a quavering sob of pity for
himself. He handed the youth a little packet done up in a yellow
envelope.
"Why, what the devil--" began the youth again.
But the other gave him a glance as from the depths of a tomb, and raised
his limp hand in a prophetic manner and turned away.
Chapter 4
The brigade was halted in the fringe of a grove. The men
crouched among the trees and pointed their restless guns out at the
fields. They tried to look beyond the smoke.
Out of this haze they could see running men. Some
shouted information and gestured as the hurried.
The men of the new regiment watched and listened eagerly, while their
tongues ran on in gossip of the battle. They mouthed rumors that had flown
like birds out of the unknown.
"They say Perry has been driven in with big loss."
"Yes, Carrott went t' th' hospital. He said he was sick.
That smart lieutenant is commanding 'G' Company. Th' boys say
they won't be under Carrott no more if they all have t' desert. They allus
knew he was a--"
"Hannises' batt'ry is took."
"It ain't either. I saw Hannises' batt'ry off on th' left
not more'n fifteen minutes ago."
"Well--"
"Th' general, he ses he is goin' t' take th' hull command of th' 304th
when we go inteh action, an' then he ses we'll do sech fightin' as never
another one reg'ment done."
"They say we're catchin' it over on th' left. They say th'
enemy driv' our line inteh a devil of a swamp an' took Hannises'
batt'ry."
"No sech thing. Hannises' batt'ry was 'long here 'bout a minute
ago."
"That young Hasbrouck, he makes a good off'cer. He ain't afraid 'a
nothin'."
"I met one of th' 148th Maine boys an' he ses his brigade fit th' hull
rebel army fer four hours over on th' turnpike road an' killed about five
thousand of 'em. He ses one more sech fight as that an' th' war 'll be
over."
"Bill wasn't scared either. No, sir! It wasn't that. Bill
ain't a-gittin' scared easy. He was jest mad, that's what he
was. When that feller trod on his hand, he up an' sed that he was willin'
t' give his hand t' his country, but he be dumbed if he was goin' t' have
every dumb bushwhacker in th' kentry walkin' 'round on it. So he went
t' th' hospital disregardless of th' fight. Three fingers was crunched.
Th' dern doctor wanted t' amputate 'm, an' Bill, he raised a heluva row, I
hear. He's a funny feller."
The din in front swelled to a tremendous chorus. The youth and his
fellows were frozen to silence. They could see a flag that tossed in
the smoke angrily. Near it were the blurred and agitated forms of
troops. There came a turbulent stream of men across the fields. A
battery changing position at a frantic gallop scattered the stragglers right
and left.
A shell screaming like a storm banshee went over the huddled heads of
the reserves. It landed in the grove, and exploding redly flung the
brown earth. There was a little shower of pine needles.
Bullets began to whistle among the branches and nip at the trees. Twigs
and leaves came sailing down. It was as if a thousand axes, wee and
invisible, were being wielded. Many of the men were constantly dodging
and ducking their heads.
The lieutenant of the youth's company was shot in the hand. He began to
swear so wondrously that a nervous laugh went along the regimental
line. The officer's profanity sounded conventional. It relieved the
tightened senses of the new men. It was as if he had hit his fingers
with a tack hammer at home.
He held the wounded member carefully away from his side so that the
blood would not drip upon his trousers.
The captain of the company, tucking his sword under his arm, produced a
handkerchief and began to bind with it the lieutenant's wound. And they
disputed as to how the binding should be done.
The battle flag in the distance jerked about madly. It seemed
to be struggling to free itself from an agony. The billowing
smoke was filled with horizontal flashes.
Men rushing swiftly emerged from it. They grew in numbers until it
was seen that the whole command was fleeing. The flag suddenly sank
down as if dying. Its motion as it fell was a gesture of despair.
Wild yells came from behind the walls of smoke. A sketch in
gray and red dissolved into a moblike body of men who galloped like wild
horses. The veteran regiments on the right and left of the 304th
immediately began to jeer. With the passionate song of the bullets and
the banshee shrieks of shells were mingled loud catcalls and bits of
facetious advice concerning places of safety.
But the new regiment was breathless with horror. "Gawd! Saunders's
got crushed!" whispered the man at the youth's elbow. They shrank back and
crouched as if compelled to await a flood.
The youth shot a swift glance along the blue ranks of the regiment. The
profiles were motionless, carven; and afterward he remembered that the color
sergeant was standing with his legs apart, as if he expected to be pushed to
the ground.
The following throng went whirling around the flank. Here and
there were officers carried along on the stream like exasperated
chips. They were striking about them with their swords and with their left
fists, punching every head they could reach. They cursed like
highwaymen.
A mounted officer displayed the furious anger of a spoiled child. He
raged with his head, his arms, and his legs.
Another, the commander of the brigade, was galloping about bawling. His
hat was gone and his clothes were awry. He resembled a man who has come
from bed to go to a fire. The hoofs of his horse often threatened the
heads of the running men, but they scampered with singular fortune. In
this rush they were apparently all deaf and blind. They heeded not the
largest and longest of the oaths that were thrown at them from all
directions.
Frequently over this tumult could be heard the grim jokes of
the critical veterans; but the retreating men apparently were not even
conscious of the presence of an audience.
The battle reflection that shone for an instant in the faces on the mad
current made the youth feel that forceful hands from heaven would not have
been able to have held him in place if he could have got intelligent control
of his legs.
There was an appalling imprint upon these faces. The struggle
in the smoke had pictured an exaggeration of itself on the bleached cheeks
and in the eyes wild with one desire.
The sight of this stampede exerted a floodlike force that seemed able to
drag sticks and stones and men from the ground. They of the
reserves had to hold on. They grew pale and firm, and red and
quaking.
The youth achieved one little thought in the midst of this chaos. The
composite monster which had caused the other troops to flee had not then
appeared. He resolved to get a view of it, and then, he thought he
might very likely run better than the best of them.
Chapter 5
There were moments of waiting. The youth thought of the
village street at home before the arrival of the circus parade on a day in
the spring. He remembered how he had stood, a small, thrillful boy,
prepared to follow the dingy lady upon the white horse, or the band in its
faded chariot. He saw the yellow road, the lines of expectant people,
and the sober houses. He particularly remembered an old fellow who used to
sit upon a cracker box in front of the store and feign to despise such
exhibitions. A thousand details of color and form surged in his
mind. The old fellow upon the cracker box appeared in middle
prominence.
Some one cried, "Here they come!"
There was rustling and muttering among the men. They displayed
a feverish desire to have every possible cartridge ready to their
hands. The boxes were pulled around into various positions, and
adjusted with great care. It was as if seven hundred new bonnets
were being tried on.
The tall soldier, having prepared his rifle, produced a red handkerchief
of some kind. He was engaged in knotting it about his throat with
exquisite attention to its position, when the cry was repeated up and down
the line in a muffled roar of sound.
"Here they come! Here they come!" Gun locks clicked.
Across the smoke-infested fields came a brown swarm of running men who
were giving shrill yells. They came on, stooping and swinging their
rifles at all angles. A flag, tilted forward, sped near the
front.
As he caught sight of them the youth was momentarily startled by a
thought that perhaps his gun was not loaded. He stood trying to rally
his faltering intellect so that he might recollect the moment when he had
loaded, but he could not.
A hatless general pulled his dripping horse to a stand near the colonel
of the 304th. He shook his fist in the other's face. "You've got to
hold 'em back!" he shouted, savagely; "you've got to hold 'em back!"
In his agitation the colonel began to stammer. "A-all
r-right, General, all right, by Gawd! We-we 'll do our--we-we 'll
d-d-do-do our best, General." The general made a passionate gesture
and galloped away. The colonel, perchance to relieve his
feelings, began to scold like a wet parrot. The youth, turning
swiftly to make sure that the rear was unmolested, saw the
commander regarding his men in a highly resentful manner, as if
he regretted above everything his association with them.
The man at the youth's elbow was mumbling, as if to himself: "Oh, we 're
in for it now! oh, we 're in for it now!"
The captain of the company had been pacing excitedly to and fro in the
rear. He coaxed in schoolmistress fashion, as to a congregation of boys
with primers. His talk was an endless repetition. "Reserve your
fire, boys--don't shoot till I tell you--save your fire--wait till they get
close up--don't be damned fools--"
Perspiration streamed down the youth's face, which was soiled like that
of a weeping urchin. He frequently, with a nervous movement, wiped his
eyes with his coat sleeve. His mouth was still a little ways ope.
He got the one glance at the foe-swarming field in front of him, and
instantly ceased to debate the question of his piece being loaded. Before he
was ready to begin--before he had announced to himself that he was about to
fight--he threw the obedient well-balanced rifle into position and fired a
first wild shot. Directly he was working at his weapon like an automatic
affair.
He suddenly lost concern for himself, and forgot to look at a menacing
fate. He became not a man but a member. He felt that something of
which he was a part--a regiment, an army, a cause, or a country--was in
crisis. He was welded into a common personality which was dominated by
a single desire. For some moments he could not flee no more than a little
finger can commit a revolution from a hand.
If he had thought the regiment was about to be annihilated perhaps he
could have amputated himself from it. But its noise gave him
assurance. The regiment was like a firework that, once ignited,
proceeds superior to circumstances until its blazing vitality fades. It
wheezed and banged with a mighty power. He pictured the ground before it as
strewn with the discomfited.
There was a consciousness always of the presence of his comrades about
him. He felt the subtle battle brotherhood more potent even than the
cause for which they were fighting. It was a mysterious fraternity born
of the smoke and danger of death.
He was at a task. He was like a carpenter who has made many
boxes, making still another box, only there was furious haste in his
movements. He, in his thoughts, was careering off in other places, even
as the carpenter who as he works whistles and thinks of his friend or his
enemy, his home or a saloon. And these jolted dreams were never perfect to
him afterward, but remained a mass of blurred shapes.
Presently he began to feel the effects of the war
atmosphere--a blistering sweat, a sensation that his eyeballs were about
to crack like hot stones. A burning roar filled his ears.
Following this came a red rage. He developed the acute
exasperation of a pestered animal, a well-meaning cow worried by dogs.
He had a mad feeling against his rifle, which could only be used against
one life at a time. He wished to rush forward and strangle with his
fingers. He craved a power that would enable him to make a world-sweeping
gesture and brush all back. His impotency appeared to him, and made his
rage into that of a driven beast.
Buried in the smoke of many rifles his anger was directed not so much
against the men whom he knew were rushing toward him as against the swirling
battle phantoms which were choking him, stuffing their smoke robes down his
parched throat. He fought frantically for respite for his senses, for
air, as a babe being smothered attacks the deadly blankets.
There was a blare of heated rage mingled with a certain expression of
intentness on all faces. Many of the men were making low-toned noises
with their mouths, and these subdued cheers, snarls, imprecations, prayers,
made a wild, barbaric these subdued cheers, snarls, imprecations, prayers,
made a wild, barbaric these subdued cheers, snarls, imprecations,
prayers, made a wild, barbaric these subdued cheers, snarls,
imprecations, prayers, made a wild, barbaric song that went as an
undercurrent of sound, strange and chantlike with the resounding chords of
the war march. The man at the youth's elbow was babbling. In
it there was something soft and tender like the monologue of a babe. The
tall soldier was swearing in a loud voice. From his lips came a black
procession of curious oaths. Of a sudden another broke out in a
querulous way like a man who has mislaid his hat. "Well, why don't they
support us? Why don't they send supports? Do they think--"
The youth in his battle sleep heard this as one who dozes hears.
There was a singular absence of heroic poses. The men bending
and surging in their haste and rage were in every impossible attitude. The
steel ramrods clanked and clanged with incessant din as the men pounded them
furiously into the hot rifle barrels. The flaps of the cartridge boxes were
all unfastened, and bobbed idiotically with each movement. The
rifles, once loaded, were jerked to the shoulder and fired
without apparent aim into the smoke or at one of the blurred and shifting
forms which upon the field before the regiment had been growing larger and
larger like puppets under a magician's hand.
The officers, at their intervals, rearward, neglected to stand
in picturesque attitudes. They were bobbing to and fro
roaring directions and encouragements. The dimensions of their
howls were extraordinary. They expended their lungs with prodigal
wills. And often they nearly stood upon their heads in their anxiety to
observe the enemy on the other side of the tumbling smoke.
The lieutenant of the youth's company had encountered a soldier who had
fled screaming at the first volley of his comrades. Behind the lines these
two were acting a little isolated scene. The man was blubbering and staring
with sheeplike eyes at the lieutenant, who had seized him by the collar and
was pommeling him. He drove him back into the ranks with many blows.
The soldier went mechanically, dully, with his animal-like eyes upon the
officer. Perhaps there was to him a divinity expressed in the voice of the
other--stern, hard, with no reflection of fear in it. He tried to reload his
gun, but his shaking hands prevented. The lieutenant was obliged to assist
him.
The men dropped here and there like bundles. The captain of
the youth's company had been killed in an early part of the action. His
body lay stretched out in the position of a tired man resting, but upon his
face there was an astonished and sorrowful look, as if he thought some friend
had done him an ill turn. The babbling man was grazed by a shot that made the
blood stream widely down his face. He clapped both hand to his
head. "Oh!" he said, and ran. Another grunted suddenly as if he had
been struck by a club in the stomach. He sat down and gazed
ruefully. In his eyes there was mute, indefinite reproach. Farther up
the line a man, standing behind a tree, had had his knee joint splintered
by a ball. Immediately he had dropped his rifle and gripped the tree
with both arms. And there he remained, clinging desperately and crying
for assistance that he might withdraw his hold upon the tree.
At last an exultant yell went along the quivering line. The
firing dwindled from an uproar to a last vindictive popping. As the
smoke slowly eddied away, the youth saw that the charge had been
repulsed. The enemy were scattered into reluctant groups. He saw a man
climb to the top of the fence, straddle the rail, and fire a parting
shot. The waves had receded, leaving bits of dark "debris" upon the
ground.
Some in the regiment began to whoop frenziedly. Many were
silent. Apparently they were trying to contemplate themselves.
After the fever had left his veins, the youth thought that at last he
was going to suffocate. He became aware of the foul atmosphere in which
he had been struggling. He was grimy and dripping like a laborer in a
foundry. He grasped his canteen and took a long swallow of the warmed
water.
A sentence with variations went up and down the line. "Well,
we 've helt 'em back. We 've helt 'em back; derned if we
haven't." The men said it blissfully, leering at each other with dirty
smiles.
The youth turned to look behind him and off to the right and off to the
left. He experienced the joy of a man who at last finds leisure in
which to look about him.
Under foot there were a few ghastly forms motionless. They
lay twisted in fantastic contortions. Arms were bent and heads
were turned in incredible ways. It seemed that the dead men must
have fallen from some great height to get into such positions.
They looked to be dumped out upon the ground from the sky.
From a position in the rear of the grove a battery was throwing shells
over it. The flash of the guns startled the youth at first. He thought
they were aimed directly at him. Through the trees he watched the black
figures of the gunners as they worked swiftly and intently. Their labor
seemed a complicated thing. He wondered how they could remember its
formula in the midst of confusion.
The guns squatted in a row like savage chiefs. They argued
with abrupt violence. It was a grim pow-wow. Their busy servants
ran hither and thither.
A small procession of wounded men were going drearily toward the
rear. It was a flow of blood from the torn body of the brigade.
To the right and to the left were the dark lines of other troops. Far in
front he thought he could see lighter masses protruding in points from the
forest. They were suggestive of unnumbered thousands.
Once he saw a tiny battery go dashing along the line of the horizon. The
tiny riders were beating the tiny horses.
From a sloping hill came the sound of cheerings and clashes. Smoke
welled slowly through the leaves.
Batteries were speaking with thunderous oratorical effort. Here and
there were flags, the red in the stripes dominating. They splashed bits of
warm color upon the dark lines of troops.
The youth felt the old thrill at the sight of the emblems. They were
like beautiful birds strangely undaunted in a storm.
As he listened to the din from the hillside, to a deep pulsating thunder
that came from afar to the left, and to the lesser clamors which came from
many directions, it occurred to him that they were fighting, too, over there,
and over there, and over there. Heretofore he had supposed that all the
battle was directly under his nose.
As he gazed around him the youth felt a flash of astonishment at the
blue, pure sky and the sun gleamings on the trees and fields. It was
surprising that Nature had gone tranquilly on with her golden process in the
midst of so much devilment.
Chapter 6
The youth awakened slowly. He came gradually back to a
position from which he could regard himself. For moments he had
been scrutinizing his person in a dazed way as if he had never before seen
himself. Then he picked up his cap from the ground. He wriggled in his
jacket to make a more comfortable fit, and kneeling relaced his shoe.
He thoughtfully mopped his reeking features.
So it was all over at last! The supreme trial had been passed. The
red, formidable difficulties of war had been vanquished.
He went into an ecstasy of self-satisfaction. He had the
most delightful sensations of his life. Standing as if apart
from himself, he viewed that last scene. He perceived that the
man who had fought thus was magnificent.
He felt that he was a fine fellow. He saw himself even with those
ideals which he had considered as far beyond him. He smiled in deep
gratification.
Upon his fellows he beamed tenderness and good will. "Gee! ain't it hot,
hey?" he said affably to a man who was polishing his streaming face with his
coat sleeves.
"You bet!" said the other, grinning sociably. "I never seen sech
dumb hotness." He sprawled out luxuriously on the ground. "Gee,
yes! An' I hope we don't have no more fightin' till a week from
Monday."
There were some handshakings and deep speeches with men whose features
were familiar, but with whom the youth now felt the bonds of tied
hearts. He helped a cursing comrade to bind up a wound of the
shin.
But, of a sudden, cries of amazement broke out along the ranks of the
new regiment. "Here they come ag'in! Here they come ag'in!" The
man who had sprawled upon the ground started up and said, "Gosh!"
The youth turned quick eyes upon the field. He discerned
forms begin to swell in masses out of a distant wood. He again saw
the tilted flag speeding forward.
The shells, which had ceased to trouble the regiment for a time, came
swirling again, and exploded in the grass or among the leaves of the
trees. They looked to be strange war flowers bursting into fierce
bloom.
The men groaned. The luster faded from their eyes. Their smudged
countenances now expressed a profound dejection. They moved their stiffened
bodies slowly, and watched in sullen mood the frantic approach of the
enemy. The slaves toiling in the temple of this god began to feel
rebellion at his harsh tasks.
They fretted and complained each to each. "Oh, say, this is
too much of a good thing! Why can't somebody send us supports?"
"We ain't never goin' to stand this second banging. I didn't come
here to fight the hull damn' rebel army."
There was one who raised a doleful cry. "I wish Bill Smithers had
trod on my hand, insteader me treddin' on his'n." The sore joints of
the regiment creaked as it painfully floundered into position to
repulse.
The youth stared. Surely, he thought, this impossible thing
was not about to happen. He waited as if he expected the enemy
to suddenly stop, apologize, and retire bowing. It was all a
mistake.
But the firing began somewhere on the regimental line and ripped along
in both directions. The level sheets of flame developed great clouds of
smoke that tumbled and tossed in the mild wind near the ground for a moment,
and then rolled through the ranks as through a gate. The clouds were
tinged an earthlike yellow in the sunrays and in the shadow were a sorry
blue. The flag was sometimes eaten and lost in this mass of vapor, but
more often it projected, sun-touched, resplendent.
Into the youth's eyes there came a look that one can see in the orbs of
a jaded horse. His neck was quivering with nervous weakness and the
muscles of his arms felt numb and bloodless. His hands, too, seemed large and
awkward as if he was wearing invisible mittens. And there was a great
uncertainty about his knee joints.
The words that comrades had uttered previous to the firing began to
recur to him. "Oh, say, this is too much of a good thing! What do they
take us for--why don't they send supports? I didn't come here to fight the
hull damned rebel army."
He began to exaggerate the endurance, the skill, and the valor of those
who were coming. Himself reeling from exhaustion, he was astonished
beyond measure at such persistency. They must be machines of
steel. It was very gloomy struggling against such affairs, wound up
perhaps to fight until sundown.
He slowly lifted his rifle and catching a glimpse of the thickspread
field he blazed at a cantering cluster. He stopped then and began to
peer as best as he could through the smoke. He caught changing views of the
ground covered with men who were all running like pursued imps, and
yelling.
To the youth it was an onslaught of redoubtable dragons. He became
like the man who lost his legs at the approach of the red and green
monster. He waited in a sort of a horrified, listening attitude. He seemed
to shut his eyes and wait to be gobbled.
A man near him who up to this time had been working feverishly at his
rifle suddenly stopped and ran with howls. A lad whose face had borne
an expression of exalted courage, the majesty of he who dares give his life,
was, at an instant, smitten abject. He blanched like one who has come to the
edge of a cliff at midnight and is suddenly made aware. There was a
revelation. He, too, threw down his gun and fled. There was no shame in
his face. He ran like a rabbit.
Others began to scamper away through the smoke. The youth
turned his head, shaken from his trance by this movement as if
the regiment was leaving him behind. He saw the few fleeting
forms.
He yelled then with fright and swung about. For a moment, in
the great clamor, he was like a proverbial chicken. He lost
the direction of safety. Destruction threatened him from all
points.
Directly he began to speed toward the rear in great leaps. His rifle and
cap were gone. His unbuttoned coat bulged in the wind. The flap of his
cartridge box bobbed wildly, and his canteen, by its slender cord, swung out
behind. On his face was all the horror of those things which he
imagined.
The lieutenant sprang forward bawling. The youth saw his features
wrathfully red, and saw him make a dab with his sword. His one thought of the
incident was that the lieutenant was a peculiar creature to feel interested
in such matters upon this occasion.
He ran like a blind man. Two or three times he fell down. Once
he knocked his shoulder so heavily against a tree that he went
headlong.
Since he had turned his back upon the fight his fears had
been wondrously magnified. Death about to thrust him between
the shoulder blades was far more dreadful than death about to smite
him between the eyes. When he thought of it later, he conceived
the impression that it is better to view the appalling than to be merely
within hearing. The noises of the battle were like stones; he believed
himself liable to be crushed.
As he ran on he mingled with others. He dimly saw men on his right
and on his left, and he heard footsteps behind him. He thought that all the
regiment was fleeing, pursued by those ominous crashes.
In his flight the sound of these following footsteps gave him his one
meager relief. He felt vaguely that death must make a first choice of
the men who were nearest; the initial morsels for the dragons would be then
those who were following him. So he displayed the zeal of an insane
sprinter in his purpose to keep them in the rear. There was a
race.
As he, leading, went across a little field, he found himself in a region
of shells. They hurtled over his head with long wild screams. As he
listened he imagined them to have rows of cruel teeth that grinned at
him. Once one lit before him and the livid lightning of the explosion
effectually barred the way in his chosen direction. He groveled on the ground
and then springing up went careering off through some bushes.
He experienced a thrill of amazement when he came within view of
a battery in action. The men there seemed to be in conventional
moods, altogether unaware of the impending annihilation. The battery
was disputing with a distant antagonist and the gunners were wrapped in
admiration of their shooting. They were continually bending in coaxing
postures over the guns. They seemed to be patting them on the back and
encouraging them with words. The guns, stolid and undaunted, spoke with
dogged valor.
The precise gunners were coolly enthusiastic. They lifted
their eyes every chance to the smoke-wreathed hillock from whence
the hostile battery addressed them. The youth pitied them as he
ran. Methodical idiots! Machine-like fools! The refined joy
of planting shells in the midst of the other battery's formation would
appear a little thing when the infantry came swooping out of the woods.
The face of a youthful rider, who was jerking his frantic horse with an
abandon of temper he might display in a placid barnyard, was impressed deeply
upon his mind. He knew that he looked upon a man who would presently be
dead.
Too, he felt a pity for the guns, standing, six good comrades, in a bold
row.
He saw a brigade going to the relief of its pestered fellows. He
scrambled upon a wee hill and watched it sweeping finely, keeping formation
in difficult places. The blue of the line was crusted with steel color,
and the brilliant flags projected. Officers were shouting.
This sight also filled him with wonder. The brigade was
hurrying briskly to be gulped into the infernal mouths of the war
god. What manner of men were they, anyhow? Ah, it was some wondrous
breed! Or else they didn't comprehend--the fools.
A furious order caused commotion in the artillery. An officer on a
bounding horse made maniacal motions with his arms. The teams went
swinging up from the rear, the guns were whirled about, and the battery
scampered away. The cannon with their noses poked slantingly at the
ground grunted and grumbled like stout men, brave but with objections to
hurry.
The youth went on, moderating his pace since he had left the place of
noises.
Later he came upon a general of division seated upon a horse
that pricked its ears in an interested way at the battle. There was
a great gleaming of yellow and patent leather about the saddle
and bridle. The quiet man astride looked mouse-colored upon such
a splendid charger.
A jingling staff was galloping hither and thither. Sometimes
the general was surrounded by horsemen and at other times he was quite
alone. He looked to be much harassed. He had the appearance of a
business man whose market is swinging up and down.
The youth went slinking around this spot. He went as near as
he dared trying to overhear words. Perhaps the general, unable
to comprehend chaos, might call upon him for information. And
he could tell him. He knew all concerning it. Of a surety
the force was in a fix, and any fool could see that if they did
not retreat while they had opportunity--why--
He felt that he would like to thrash the general, or at least approach
and tell him in plain words exactly what he thought him to be. It was
criminal to stay calmly in one spot and make no effort to stay
destruction. He loitered in a fever of eagerness for the division
commander to apply to him.
As he warily moved about, he heard the general call out irritably:
"Tompkins, go over an' see Taylor, an' tell him not t' be in such an
all-fired hurry; tell him t' halt his brigade in th' edge of th' woods; tell
him t' detach a reg'ment--say I think th' center 'll break if we don't help
it out some; tell him t' hurry up."
A slim youth on a fine chestnut horse caught these swift words from the
mouth of his superior. He made his horse bound into a gallop almost
from a walk in his haste to go upon his mission. There was a cloud of
dust.
A moment later the youth saw the general bounce excitedly in his
saddle.
"Yes, by heavens, they have!" The officer leaned forward. His
face was aflame with excitement. "Yes, by heavens, they 've held
'im! They 've held 'im!"
He began to blithely roar at his staff: "We 'll wallop 'im now. We
'll wallop 'im now. We 've got 'em sure." He turned suddenly upon
an aide: "Here--you--Jons--quick--ride after Tompkins--see Taylor--tell
him t' go in--everlastingly--like blazes--anything."
As another officer sped his horse after the first messenger, the general
beamed upon the earth like a sun. In his eyes was a desire to chant a
paean. He kept repeating, "They 've held 'em, by heavens!"
His excitement made his horse plunge, and he merrily kicked and swore at
it. He held a little carnival of joy on horseback.
Chapter 7
The youth cringed as if discovered in a crime. By heavens, they
had won after all! The imbecile line had remained and become
victors. He could hear cheering.
He lifted himself upon his toes and looked in the direction of the
fight. A yellow fog lay wallowing on the treetops. From beneath it came
the clatter of musketry. Hoarse cries told of an advance.
He turned away amazed and angry. He felt that he had been
wronged.
He had fled, he told himself, because annihilation approached. He had
done a good part in saving himself, who was a little piece of the army.
He had considered the time, he said, to be one in which it was the duty of
every little piece to rescue itself if possible. Later the officers
could fit the little pieces together again, and make a battle front. If
none of the little pieces were wise enough to save themselves from the flurry
of death at such a time, why, then, where would be the army? It
was all plain that he had proceeded according to very correct
and commendable rules. His actions had been sagacious things.
They had been full of strategy. They were the work of a master's
legs.
Thoughts of his comrades came to him. The brittle blue line
had withstood the blows and won. He grew bitter over it. It
seemed that the blind ignorance and stupidity of those little pieces had
betrayed him. He had been overturned and crushed by their lack of sense
in holding the position, when intelligent deliberation would have convinced
them that it was impossible. He, the enlightened man who looks afar in the
dark, had fled because of his superior perceptions and knowledge. He
felt a great anger against his comrades. He knew it could be
proved that they had been fools.
He wondered what they would remark when later he appeared in camp. His
mind heard howls of derision. Their density would not enable them to
understand his sharper point of view.
He began to pity himself acutely. He was ill used. He
was trodden beneath the feet of an iron injustice. He had
proceeded with wisdom and from the most righteous motives under
heaven's blue only to be frustrated by hateful circumstances.
A dull, animal-like rebellion against his fellows, war in the abstract,
and fate grew within him. He shambled along with bowed head, his brain
in a tumult of agony and despair. When he looked loweringly up,
quivering at each sound, his eyes had the expression of those of a criminal
who thinks his guilt little and his punishment great, and knows that he can
find no words.
He went from the fields into a thick woods, as if resolved to bury
himself. He wished to get out of hearing of the crackling shots which
were to him like voices.
The ground was cluttered with vines and bushes, and the trees grew close
and spread out like bouquets. He was obliged to force his way with much
noise. The creepers, catching against his legs, cried out harshly as
their sprays were torn from the barks of trees. The swishing saplings
tried to make known his presence to the world. He could not conciliate
the forest. As he made his way, it was always calling out
protestations. When he separated embraces of trees and vines the
disturbed foliages waved their arms and turned their face leaves toward
him. He dreaded lest these noisy motions and cries should bring men to
look at him. So he went far, seeking dark and intricate places.
After a time the sound of musketry grew faint and the cannon boomed in
the distance. The sun, suddenly apparent, blazed among the trees.
The insects were making rhythmical noises. They seemed to be grinding
their teeth in unison. A woodpecker stuck his impudent head around the
side of a tree. A bird flew on lighthearted wing.
Off was the rumble of death. It seemed now that Nature had no
ears.
This landscape gave him assurance. A fair field holding life. It
was the religion of peace. It would die if its timid eyes were
compelled to see blood. He conceived Nature to be a woman with a deep
aversion to tragedy.
He threw a pine cone at a jovial squirrel, and he ran with chattering
fear. High in a treetop he stopped, and, poking his head cautiously
from behind a branch, looked down with an air of trepidation.
The youth felt triumphant at this exhibition. There was the
law, he said. Nature had given him a sign. The squirrel,
immediately upon recognizing danger, had taken to his legs without ado. He
did not stand stolidly baring his furry belly to the missile, and die with an
upward glance at the sympathetic heavens. On the contrary, he had fled
as fast as his legs could carry him; and he was but an ordinary squirrel,
too--doubtless no philosopher of his race. The youth wended, feeling
that Nature was of his mind. She re-enforced his argument with proofs that
lived where the sun shone.
Once he found himself almost into a swamp. He was obliged to walk
upon bog tufts and watch his feet to keep from the oily mire. Pausing at one
time to look about him he saw, out at some black water, a small animal pounce
in and emerge directly with a gleaming fish.
The youth went again into the deep thickets. The brushed branches
made a noise that drowned the sounds of cannon. He walked on, going from
obscurity into promises of a greater obscurity.
At length he reached a place where the high, arching boughs made a
chapel. He softly pushed the green doors aside and entered. Pine
needles were a gentle brown carpet. There was a religious half light.
Near the threshold he stopped, horror-stricken at the sight of a
thing.
He was being looked at by a dead man who was seated with his
back against a columnlike tree. The corpse was dressed in a
uniform that had once been blue, but was now faded to a melancholy
shade of green. The eyes, staring at the youth, had changed to the
dull hue to be seen on the side of a dead fish. The mouth was
open. Its red had changed to an appalling yellow. Over the gray skin
of the face ran little ants. One was trundling some sort of
bundle along the upper lip.
The youth gave a shriek as he confronted the thing. He was
for moments turned to stone before it. He remained staring into
the liquid-looking eyes. The dead man and the living man exchanged
a long look. Then the youth cautiously put one hand behind him
and brought it against a tree. Leaning upon this he retreated, step
by step, with his face still toward the thing. He feared that if
he turned his back the body might spring up and stealthily pursue him.
The branches, pushing against him, threatened to throw him over upon
it. His unguided feet, too, caught aggravatingly in brambles; and with
it all he received a subtle suggestion to touch the corpse. As he thought of
his hand upon it he shuddered profoundly.
At last he burst the bonds which had fastened him to the spot and
fled, unheeding the underbrush. He was pursued by the sight of black
ants swarming greedily upon the gray face and venturing horribly near
to the eyes.
After a time he paused, and, breathless and panting, listened. He
imagined some strange voice would come from the dead throat and squawk after
him in horrible menaces.
The trees about the portal of the chapel moved soughingly in a soft
wind. A sad silence was upon the little guarding edifice.
Chapter 8
The trees began softly to sing a hymn of twilight. The sun
sank until slanted bronze rays struck the forest. There was a lull
in the noises of insects as if they had bowed their beaks and were making
a devotional pause. There was silence save for the chanted chorus of
the trees.
Then, upon this stillness, there suddenly broke a tremendous clangor of
sounds. A crimson roar came from the distance.
The youth stopped. He was transfixed by this terrific medley
of all noises. It was as if worlds were being rended. There was
the ripping sound of musketry and the breaking crash of the artillery.
His mind flew in all directions. He conceived the two armies to be
at each other panther fashion. He listened for a time. Then he began to
run in the direction of the battle. He saw that it was an ironical
thing for him to be running thus toward that which he had been at such pains
to avoid. But he said, in substance, to himself that if the earth and
the moon were about to clash, many persons would doubtless plan to get upon
the roofs to witness the collision.
As he ran, he became aware that the forest had stopped its music, as if
at last becoming capable of hearing the foregin sounds. The trees hushed and
stood motionless. Everything seemed to be listening to the crackle and
clatter and earthshaking thunder. The chorus peaked over the still
earth.
It suddenly occurred to the youth that the fight in which he had been
was, after all, but perfunctory popping. In the hearing of this present
din he was doubtful if he had seen real battle scenes. This uproar explained
a celestial battle; it was tumbling hordes a-struggle in the air.
Reflecting, he saw a sort of a humor in the point of view of himself and
his fellows during the late encounter. They had taken themselves and
the enemy very seriously and had imagined that they were deciding the
war. Individuals must have supposed that they were cutting the letters
of their names deep into everlasting tablets of brass, or enshrining their
reputations forever in the hearts of their countrymen, while, as to
fact, the affair would appear in printed reports under a meek
and immaterial title. But he saw that it was good, else, he said,
in battle every one would surely run save forlorn hopes and their ilk.
He went rapidly on. He wished to come to the edge of the
forest that he might peer out.
As he hastened, there passed through his mind pictures of stupendous
conflicts. His accumulated thought upon such subjects was used to form
scenes. The noise was as the voice of an eloquent being,
describing.
Sometimes the brambles formed chains and tried to hold him back. Trees,
confronting him, stretched out their arms and forbade him to pass.
After its previous hostility this new resistance of the forest filled him
with a fine bitterness. It seemed that Nature could not be quite ready
to kill him.
But he obstinately took roundabout ways, and presently he was where he
could see long gray walls of vapor where lay battle lines. The voices
of cannon shook him. The musketry sounded in long irregular surges that
played havoc with his ears. He stood regardant for a moment. His
eyes had an awestruck expression. He gawked in the direction of th
fight.
Presently he proceeded again on his forward way. The battle was
like the grinding of an immense and terrible machine to him. Its complexities
and powers, its grim processes, fascinated him. He must go close and see it
produce corpses.
He came to a fence and clambered over it. On the far side,
the ground was littered with clothes and guns. A newspaper, folded
up, lay in the dirt. A dead soldier was stretched with his face
hidden in his arm. Farther off there was a group of four or five
corpses keeping mournful company. A hot sun had blazed upon this
spot.
In this place the youth felt that he was an invader.
This forgotten part of the battle ground was owned by the dead men, and he
hurried, in the vague apprehension that one of the swollen forms would rise
and tell him to begone.
He came finally to a road from which he could see in the distance dark
and agitated bodies of troops, smoke-fringed. In the lane was a
blood-stained crowd streaming to the rear. The wounded men were
cursing, groaning, and wailing. In the air, always, was a mighty swell
of sound that it seemed could sway the earth. With the courageous words
of the artillery and the spiteful sentences of the musketry mingled red
cheers. And from this region of noises came the steady current of the
maimed.
One of the wounded men had a shoeful of blood. He hopped like
a schoolboy in a game. He was laughing hysterically.
One was swearing that he had been shot in the arm through the commanding
general's mismanagement of the army. One was marching with an air
imitative of some sublime drum major. Upon his features was an unholy
mixture of merriment and agony. As he marched he sang a bit of doggerel
in a high and quavering voice:
"Sing a song 'a vic'try, A pocketful 'a bullets, Five an' twenty
dead men Baked in a--pie."
Parts of the procession limped and staggered to this tune.
Another had the gray seal of death already upon his face. His lips were
curled in hard lines and his teeth were clinched. His hands were bloody from
where he had pressed them upon his wound. He seemed to be awaiting the moment
when he should pitch headlong. He stalked like the specter of a soldier, his
eyes burning with the power of a stare into the unknown.
There were some who proceeded sullenly, full of anger at their
wounds, and ready to turn upon anything as an obscure cause.
An officer was carried along by two privates. He was
peevish. "Don't joggle so, Johnson, yeh fool," he cried. "Think m' leg
is made of iron? If yeh can't carry me decent, put me down an'
let some one else do it."
He bellowed at the tottering crowd who blocked the quick march of his
bearers. "Say, make way there, can't yeh? Make way, dickens take
it all."
They sulkily parted and went to the roadsides. As he was
carried past they made pert remarks to him. When he raged in reply
and threatened them, they told him to be damned.
The shoulder of one of the tramping bearers knocked heavily against the
spectral soldier who was staring into the unknown.
The youth joined this crowd and marched along with it. The
torn bodies expressed the awful machinery in which the men had been
entangled.
Orderlies and couriers occasionally broke through the throng in the
roadway, scattering wounded men right and left, galloping on followed by
howls. The melancholy march was continually disturbed by the
messengers, and sometimes by bustling batteries that came swinging and
thumping down upon them, the officers shouting orders to clear the way.
There was a tattered man, fouled with dust, blood and powder stain from
hair to shoes, who trudged quietly at the youth's side. He was listening with
eagerness and much humility to the lurid descriptions of a bearded
sergeant. His lean features wore an expression of awe and
admiration. He was like a listener in a country store to wondrous tales
told among the sugar barrels. He eyed the story-teller with unspeakable
wonder. His mouth was agape in yokel fashion.
The sergeant, taking note of this, gave pause to his elaborate history
while he administered a sardonic comment. "Be keerful, honey, you 'll
be a-ketchin' flies," he said.
The tattered man shrank back abashed.
After a time he began to sidle near to the youth, and in a diffident way
try to make him a friend. His voice was gentle as a girl's voice and
his eyes were pleading. The youth saw with surprise that the soldier
had two wounds, one in the head, bound with a blood-soaked rag, and the other
in the arm, making that member dangle like a broken bough.
After they had walked together for some time the tattered man mustered
sufficient courage to speak. "Was pretty good fight, wa'n't it?" he
timidly said. The youth, deep in thought, glanced up at the bloody and
grim figure with its lamblike eyes. "What?"
"Was pretty good fight, wa'n't it?"
"Yes," said the youth shortly. He quickened his pace.
But the other hobbled industriously after him. There was an air of
apology in his manner, but he evidently thought that he needed only to talk
for a time, and the youth would perceive that he was a good fellow.
"Was pretty good fight, wa'n't it?" he began in a small voice, and the
he achieved the fortitude to continue. "Dern me if I ever see fellers
fight so. Laws, how they did fight! I knowed th' boys 'd like it
when they onct got square at it. Th' boys ain't had no fair chanct up
t' now, but this time they showed what they was. I knowed it 'd turn out this
way. Yeh can't lick them boys. No, sir! They 're fighters, they
be."
He breathed a deep breath of humble admiration. He had looked at
the youth for encouragement several times. He received none, but
gradually he seemed to get absorbed in his subject.
"I was talkin' 'cross pickets with a boy from Georgie, onct, an' that
boy, he ses, 'Your fellers 'll all run like hell when they onct hearn a gun,'
he ses. 'Mebbe they will,' I ses, 'but I don't b'lieve none of it,' I
ses; 'an' b'jiminey,' I ses back t' 'um, 'mebbe your fellers 'll all run like
hell when they onct hearn a gun,' I ses. He larfed. Well, they
didn't run t' day, did they, hey? No, sir! They fit, an' fit, an'
fit."
His homely face was suffused with a light of love for the army which was
to him all things beautiful and powerful.
After a time he turned to the youth. "Where yeh hit, ol' boy?" he
asked in a brotherly tone.
The youth felt instant panic at this question, although at first its
full import was not borne in upon him.
"What?" he asked.
"Where yeh hit?" repeated the tattered man.
"Why," began the youth, "I--I--that is--why--I--"
He turned away suddenly and slid through the crowd. His brow
was heavily flushed, and his fingers were picking nervously at one of his
buttons. He bent his head and fastened his eyes studiously upon the
button as if it were a little problem.
The tattered man looked after him in astonishment.
Chapter 9
The youth fell back in the procession until the tattered soldier was not
in sight. Then he started to walk on with the others.
But he was amid wounds. The mob of men was bleeding. Because
of the tattered soldier's question he now felt that his shame could be
viewed. He was continually casting sidelong glances to see if the men
were contemplating the letters of guilt he felt burned into his brow.
At times he regarded the wounded soldiers in an envious way. He
conceived persons with torn bodies to be peculiarly happy. He wished that he,
too, had a wound, a red badge of courage.
The spectral soldier was at his side like a stalking reproach. The man's
eyes were still fixed in a stare into the unknown. His gray, appalling face
had attracted attention in the crowd, and men, slowing to his dreary pace,
were walking with him. They were discussing his plight, questioning him and
giving him advice. In a dogged way he repelled them, signing to
them to go on and leave him alone. The shadows of his face
were deepening and his tight lips seemed holding in check the moan of
great despair. There could be seen a certain stiffness in the movements
of his body, as if he were taking infinite care not to arouse the passion of
his wounds. As he went on, he seemed always looking for a place, like
one who goes to choose a grave.
Something in the gesture of the man as he waved the bloody and pitying
soldiers away made the youth start as if bitten. He yelled in horror.
Tottering forward he laid a quivering hand upon the man's arm. As the
latter slowly turned his waxlike features toward him the youth
screamed:
"Gawd! Jim Conklin!"
The tall soldier made a little commonplace smile. "Hello, Henry,"
he said.
The youth swayed on his legs and glared strangely. He
stuttered and stammered. "Oh, Jim--oh, Jim--oh, Jim--"
The tall soldier held out his gory hand. There was a curious
red and black combination of new blood and old blood upon it.
"Where yeh been, Henry?" he asked. He continued in a monotonous
voice, "I thought mebbe yeh got keeled over. There 's been thunder
t' pay t'-day. I was worryin' about it a good deal."
The youth still lamented. "Oh, Jim--oh, Jim--oh, Jim--"
"Yeh know," said the tall soldier, "I was out there." He made
a careful gesture. "An', Lord, what a circus! An', b'jiminey, I
got shot--I got shot. Yes, b'jiminey, I got shot." He reiterated
this fact in a bewildered way, as if he did not know how it came about.
The youth put forth anxious arms to assist him, but the tall soldier
went firmly as if propelled. Since the youth's arrival as a guardian
for his friend, the other wounded men had ceased to display much
interest. They occupied themselves again in dragging their own
tragedies toward the rear.
Suddenly, as the two friends marched on, the tall soldier seemed to
be overcome by a tremor. His face turned to a semblance of gray
paste. He clutched the youth's arm and looked all about him, as if
dreading to be overheard. Then he began to speak in a shaking
whisper:
"I tell yeh what I'm 'fraid of, Henry--I'll tell yeh what I'm 'fraid
of. I 'm 'fraid I 'll fall down--an' them yeh know - them damned
artillery wagons--they like as not 'll run over me. That 's what I 'm 'fraid
of--"
The youth cried out to him hysterically: "I 'll take care of yeh,
Jim! I 'll take care of yeh! I swear t' Gawd I will!"
"Sure--will yeh, Henry?" the tall soldier beseeched.
"Yes--yes--I tell yeh--I'll take care of yeh, Jim!" protested the
youth. He could not speak accurately because of the gulpings in his
throat.
But the tall soldier continued to beg in a lowly way. He now
hung babelike to the youth's arm. His eyes rolled in the wildness
of his terror. "I was allus a good friend t' yeh, wa'n't I, Henry? I
've allus been a pretty good feller, ain't I? An' it ain't much t' ask,
is it? Jest t' pull me along outer th' road? I'd do it fer you,
wouldn't I, Henry?"
He paused in piteous anxiety to await his friend's reply.
The youth had reached an anguish where the sobs scorched him. He strove
to express his loyalty, but he could only make fantastic gestures.
However, the tall soldier seemed suddenly to forget all
those fears. He became again the grim, stalking specter of a
soldier. He went stonily forward. The youth wished his friend to
lean upon him, but the other always shook his head and
strangely protested. "No--no--no--leave me be--leave me be--"
His look was fixed again upon the unknown. He moved with
mysterious purpose, and all of the youth's offers he brushed aside.
"No--no--leave me be--leave me be--"
The youth had to follow.
Presently the latter heard a voice talking softly near his
shoulder. Turning he saw that it belonged to the tattered soldier.
"Ye'd better take 'im outa th' road, pardner. There's a batt'ry comin'
helitywhoop down th' road an' he 'll git runned over. He 's a goner
anyhow in about five minutes--yeh kin see that. Ye 'd better take 'im
outa th' road. Where th' blazes does hi git his stren'th from?"
"Lord knows!" cried the youth. He was shaking his hands
helplessly.
He ran forward presently and grasped the tall soldier by the arm. "Jim!
Jim!" he coaxed, "come with me."
The tall soldier weakly tried to wrench himself free. "Huh,"
he said vacantly. He stared at the youth for a moment. At last
he spoke as if dimly comprehending. "Oh! Inteh th' fields?
Oh!"
He started blindly through the grass.
The youth turned once to look at the lashing riders and jouncing guns of
the battery. He was startled from this view by a shrill outcry from the
tattered man.
"Gawd! He's runnin'!"
Turning his head swiftly, the youth saw his friend running in
a staggering and stumbling way toward a little clump of bushes. His heart
seemed to wrench itself almost free from his body at this sight. He
made a noise of pain. He and the tattered man began a pursuit.
There was a singular race.
When he overtook the tall soldier he began to plead with all the words
he could find. "Jim--Jim--what are you doing--what makes you do this
way--you'll hurt yerself."
The same purpose was in the tall soldier's face. He protested in a
dulled way, keeping his eyes fastened on the mystic place of his
intentions. "No--no--don't tech me--leave me be--leave me be--"
The youth, aghast and filled with wonder at the tall soldier, began
quaveringly to question him. "Where yeh goin', Jim? What you
thinking about? Where you going? Tell me, won't you, Jim?"
The tall soldier faced about as upon relentless pursuers. In
his eyes there was a great appeal. "Leave me be, can't yeh? Leave
me be for a minnit."
The youth recoiled. "Why, Jim," he said, in a dazed way, "what 's
the matter with you?"
The tall soldier turned and, lurching dangerously, went on.
The youth and the tattered soldier followed, sneaking as if
whipped, feeling unable to face the stricken man if he should
again confront them. They began to have thoughts of a solemn
ceremony. There was something rite-like in these movements of the
doomed soldier. And there was a resemblance in him to a devotee of
a mad religion, blood-sucking, muscle-wrenching, bone-crushing. They were
awed and afraid. They hung back lest he have at command a dreadful
weapon.
At last, they saw him stop and stand motionless. Hastening
up, they perceived that his face wore an expression telling that he had at
last found the place for which he had struggled. His spare figure was erect;
his bloody hands were quietly at his side. He was waiting with patience
for something that he had come to meet. He was at the rendezvous.
They paused and stood, expectant.
There was a silence.
Finally, the chest of the doomed soldier began to heave with a strained
motion. It increased in violence until it was as if an animal was
within and was kicking and tumbling furiously to be free.
This spectacle of gradual strangulation made the youth writhe, and once
as his friend rolled his eyes, he saw something in them that made him sink
wailing to the ground. He raised his voice in a last supreme
call.
"Jim--Jim--Jim--"
The tall soldier opened his lips and spoke. He made a
gesture. "Leave me be--don't tech me--leave me be--"
There was another silence while he waited.
Suddenly his form stiffened and straightened. Then it was
shaken by a prolonged ague. He stared into space. To the two
watchers there was a curious and profound dignity in the firm lines of his
awful face.
He was invaded by a creeping strangeness that slowly enveloped him. For
a moment the tremor of his legs caused him to dance a sort of hideous
hornpipe. His arms beat wildly about his head in expression of implike
enthusiasm.
His tall figure stretched itself to its full height. There was
a slight rending sound. Then it began to swing forward, slow
and straight, in the manner of a falling tree. A swift
muscular contortion made the left shoulder strike the ground first.
The body seemed to bounce a little way from the earth. "God!" said
the tattered soldier.
The youth had watched, spellbound, this ceremony at the place
of meeting. His face had been twisted into an expression of
every agony he had imagined for his friend.
He now sprang to his feet and, going closer, gazed upon the pastelike
face. The mouth was open and the teeth showed in a laugh.
As the flap of the blue jacket fell away from the body, he could see
that the side looked as if it had been chewed by wolves.
The youth turned, with sudden, livid rage, toward the battlefield. He
shook his fist. He seemed about to deliver a philippic.
"Hell--"
The red sun was pasted in the sky like a wafer.
Chapter 10
The tattered man stood musing.
"Well, he was a reg'lar jim-dandy fer nerve, wa'n't he," said he finally
in a little awestruck voice. "A reg'lar jim-dandy." He thoughtfully
poked one of the docile hands with his foot. "I wonner where he got 'is
stren'th from? I never seen a man do like that before. It was a
funny thing. Well, he was a reg'lar jim-dandy."
The youth desired to screech out his grief. He was stabbed,
but his tongue lay dead in the tomb of his mouth. He threw
himself again upon the ground and began to brood.
The tattered man stood musing.
"Look-a-here, pardner," he said, after a time. He regarded
the corpse as he spoke. "He 's up an' gone, ain't 'e, an' we
might as well begin t' look out fer ol' number one. This here thing
is all over. He 's up an' gone, ain't 'e? An' he 's all right
here. Nobody won't bother 'im. An' I must say I ain't enjoying any
great health m'self these days."
The youth, awakened by the tattered soldier's tone, looked quickly
up. He saw that he was swinging uncertainly on his legs and that his
face had turned to a shade of blue.
"Good Lord!" he cried, "you ain't goin' t'--not you, too."
The tattered man waved his hand. "Nary die," he said. "All I want
is some pea soup an' a good bed. Some pea soup," he repeated
dreamfully.
The youth arose from the ground. "I wonder where he came from. I
left him over there." He pointed. "And now I find 'im here. And
he was coming from over there, too." He indicated a new direction. They
both turned toward the body as if to ask of it a question.
"Well," at length spoke the tattered man, "there ain't no use in our
stayin' here an' tryin' t' ask him anything."
The youth nodded an assent wearily. They both turned to gaze for a
moment at the corpse.
The youth murmured something.
"Well, he was a jim-dandy, wa'n't 'e?" said the tattered man as if in
response.
They turned their backs upon it and started away. For a time they
stole softly, treading with their toes. It remained laughing there in
the grass.
"I'm commencin' t' feel pretty bad," said the tattered man, suddenly
breaking one of his little silences. "I'm commencin' t' feel pretty
damn' bad."
The youth groaned. "Oh Lord!" He wondered if he was to be
the tortured witness of another grim encounter.
But his companion waved his hand reassuringly. "Oh, I'm not
goin' t' die yit! There too much dependin' on me fer me t' die
yit. No, sir! Nary die! I CAN'T! Ye'd oughta see th' swad
a' chil'ren I've got, an' all like that."
The youth glancing at his companion could see by the shadow of a smile
that he was making some kind of fun.
As the plodded on the tattered soldier continued to talk. "Besides, if I
died, I wouldn't die th' way that feller did. That was th' funniest
thing. I'd jest flop down, I would. I never seen a feller die th' way
that feller did.
"Yeh know Tom Jamison, he lives next door t' me up home. He's a nice
feller, he is, an' we was allus good friends. Smart, too. Smart as a steel
trap. Well, when we was a-fightin' this atternoon, all-of-a-sudden he
begin t' rip up an' cuss an' beller at me. 'Yer shot, yeh blamed
infernal!'--he swear horrible--he ses t' me. I put up m' hand t' m'
head an' when I looked at m' fingers, I seen, sure 'nough, I was shot.
I give a holler an' begin t' run, but b'fore I could git away another
one hit me in th' arm an' whirl' me clean 'round. I got skeared
when they was all a-shootin' b'hind me an' I run t' beat all, but I cotch
it pretty bad. I've an idee I'd a been fightin' yit, if t'was n't fer
Tom Jamison."
Then he made a calm announcement: "There's two of
'em--little ones--but they 're beginnin' t' have fun with me now. I
don't b'lieve I kin walk much furder."
They went slowly on in silence. "Yeh look pretty peek'ed
yerself," said the tattered man at last. "I bet yeh 've got a worser
one than yeh think. Ye'd better take keer of yer hurt. It don't
do t' let sech things go. It might be inside mostly, an' them plays
thunder. Where is it located?" But he continued his harangue
without waiting for a reply. "I see a feller git hit plum in th' head
when my reg'ment was a-standin' at ease onct. An' everybody yelled to
'im: 'Hurt, John? Are yeh hurt much?' 'No,' ses he. He
looked kinder surprised, an' he went on tellin' 'em how he felt. He sed
he didn't feel nothin'. But, by dad, th' first thing that feller knowed he
was dead. Yes, he was dead--stone dead. So, yeh wanta watch out. Yeh
might have some queer kind 'a hurt yerself. Yeh can't never tell.
Where is your'n located?"
The youth had been wriggling since the introduction of this topic. He
now gave a cry of exasperation and made a furious motion with his hand.
"Oh, don't bother me!" he said. He was enraged against the tattered
man, and could have strangled him. His companions seemed ever to play
intolerable parts. They were ever upraising the ghost of shame on the
stick of their curiosity. He turned toward the tattered man as one at
bay. "Now, don't bother me," he repeated with desperate menace.
"Well, Lord knows I don't wanta bother anybody," said the other. There
was a little accent of despair in his voice as he replied, "Lord knows I 've
gota 'nough m' own t' tend to."
The youth, who had been holding a bitter debate with himself and casting
glances of hatred and contempt at the tattered man, here spoke in a hard
voice. "Good-by," he said.
The tattered man looked at him in gaping amazement.
"Why--why, pardner, where yeh goin'?" he asked unsteadily. The youth
looking at him, could see that he, too, like that other one, was
beginning to act dumb and animal-like. His thoughts seemed to be
floundering about in his head. "Now--now--look--a--here, you Tom
Jamison--now-- I won't have this--this here won't do. Where--where yeh
goin'?"
The youth pointed vaguely. "Over there," he replied.
"Well, now look--a--here--now," said the tattered man, rambling on in
idiot fashion. His head was hanging forward and his words were
slurred. "This thing won't do, now, Tom Jamison. It won't do. I
know yeh, yeh pig-headed devil. Yeh wanta go trompin' off with a bad
hurt. It ain't right--now--Tom Jamison --it ain't. Yeh wanta
leave me take keer of yeh, Tom Jamison. It ain't--right--it ain't--fer yeh t'
go--trompin' off--with a bad hurt--it ain't--ain't--ain't right--it
ain't."
In reply the youth climbed a fence and started away. He could hear the
tattered man bleating plaintively.
Once he faced about angrily. "What?"
"Look--a--here, now, Tom Jamison--now--it ain't--"
The youth went on. Turning at a distance he saw the tattered
man wandering about helplessly in the field.
He now thought that he wished he was dead. He believed he
envied those men whose bodies lay strewn over the grass of the fields and
on the fallen leaves of the forest.
The simple questions of the tattered man had been knife thrusts to
him. They asserted a society that probes pitilessly at secrets until
all is apparent. His late companion's chance persistency made him feel
that he could not keep his crime concealed in his bosom. It was sure to
be brought plain by one of those arrows which cloud the air and are
constantly pricking, discovering, proclaiming those things which are willed
to be forever hidden. He admitted that he could not defend
himself against this agency. It was not within the power of
vigilance.
Chapter 11
He became aware that the furnace roar of the battle was growing
louder. Great blown clouds had floated to the still heights of air before
him. The noise, too, was approaching. The woods filtered men and the
fields became dotted.
As he rounded a hillock, he perceived that the roadway was now a crying
mass of wagons, teams, and men. From the heaving tangle issued
exhortations, commands, imprecations. Fear was sweeping it all
along. The cracking whips bit and horses plunged and tugged. The
white-topped wagons strained and stumbled in their exertions like fat
sheep.
The youth felt comforted in a measure by this sight. They were all
retreating. Perhaps, then, he was not so bad after all. He seated
himself and watched the terror-stricken wagons. They fled like soft, ungainly
animals. All the roarers and lashers served to help him to magnify the
dangers and horrors of the engagement that he might try to prove to himself
that the thing with which men could charge him was in truth a symmetrical
act. There was an amount of pleasure to him in watching the wild march
of this vindication.
Presently the calm head of a forward-going column of infantry appeared
in the road. It came swiftly on. Avoiding the obstructions gave
it the sinuous movement of a serpent. The men at the head butted mules with
their musket stocks. They prodded teamsters indifferent to all howls.
The men forced their way through parts of the dense mass by strength. The
blunt head of the column pushed. The raving teamsters swore many
strange oaths.
The commands to make way had the ring of a great importance in them. The
men were going forward to the heart of the din. They were to confront
the eager rush of the enemy. They felt the pride of their onward
movement when the remainder of the army seemed trying to dribble down this
road. They tumbled teams about with a fine feeling that it was no
matter so long as their column got to the front in time. This
importance made their faces grave and stern. And the backs of the officers
were very rigid.
As the youth looked at them the black weight of his woe returned to him.
He felt that he was regarding a procession of chosen beings. The separation
was as great to him as if they had marched with weapons of flame and banners
of sunlight. He could never be like them. He could have wept in his
longings.
He searched about in his mind for an adequate malediction for
the indefinite cause, the thing upon which men turn the words of final
blame. It--whatever it was--was responsible for him, he said.
There lay the fault.
The haste of the column to reach the battle seemed to the forlorn young
man to be something much finer than stout fighting. Heroes, he thought, could
find excuses in that long seething lane. They could retire with perfect
self-respect and make excuses to the stars.
He wondered what those men had eaten that they could be in such haste to
force their way to grim chances of death. As he watched his envy grew
until he thought that he wished to change lives with one of them. He
would have liked to have used a tremendous force, he said, throw off himself
and become a better. Swift pictures of himself, apart, yet in himself,
came to him--a blue desperate figure leading lurid charges with one knee
forward and a broken blade high--a blue, determined figure standing before a
crimson and steel assault, getting calmly killed on a high place
before the eyes of all. He thought of the magnificent pathos of
his dead body.
These thoughts uplifted him. He felt the quiver of war desire. In
his ears, he heard the ring of victory. He knew the frenzy of a rapid
successful charge. The music of the trampling feet, the sharp voices,
the clanking arms of the column near him made him soar on the red wings of
war. For a few moments he was sublime.
He thought that he was about to start for the front. Indeed,
he saw a picture of himself, dust-stained, haggard, panting, flying to the
front at the proper moment to seize and throttle the dark, leering witch of
calamity.
Then the difficulties of the thing began to drag at him. He hesitated,
balancing awkwardly on one foot.
He had no rifle; he could not fight with his hands, said he resentfully
to his plan. Well, rifles could be had for the picking. They were
extraordinarily profuse.
Also, he continued, it would be a miracle if he found his
regiment. Well, he could fight with any regiment.
He started forward slowly. He stepped as if he expected to
tread upon some explosive thing. Doubts and he were struggling.
He would truly be a worm if any of his comrades should see him returning
thus, the marks of his flight upon him. There was a reply that the
intent fighters did not care for what happened rearward saving that no
hostile bayonets appeared there. In the battle-blur his face would, in a way,
be hidden, like the face of a cowled man.
But then he said that his tireless fate would bring forth, when the
strife lulled for a moment, a man to ask of him an explanation. In
imagination he felt the scrutiny of his companions as he painfully labored
through some lies.
Eventually, his courage expended itself upon these objections. The
debates drained him of his fire.
He was not cast down by this defeat of his plan, for, upon studying the
affair carefully, he could not but admit that the objections were very
formidable.
Furthermore, various ailments had begun to cry out. In
their presence he could not persist in flying high with the wings of
war; they rendered it almost impossible for him to see himself in a heroic
light. He tumbled headlong.
He discovered that he had a scorching thirst. His face was so dry
and grimy that he thought he could feel his skin crackle. Each bone of his
body had an ache in it, and seemingly threatened to break with each
movement. His feet were like two sores. Also, his body was calling for
food. It was more powerful than a direct hunger. There was a
dull, weight-like feeling in his stomach, and, when he tried to walk, his
head swayed and he tottered. He could not see with distinctness.
Small patches of green mist floated before his vision.
While he had been tossed by many emotions, he had not been aware of
ailments. Now the beset him and made clamor. As he was at last
compelled to pay attention to them, his capacity for self-hate was
multiplied. In despair, he declared that he was not like those
others. He now conceded it to be impossible that he should ever become
a hero. He was a craven loon. Those pictures of glory were
piteous things. He groaned from his heart and went staggering
off.
A certain mothlike quality within him kept him in the vicinity of the
battle. He had a great desire to see, and to get news. He wished to
know who was winning.
He told himself that, despite his unprecedented suffering, he had never
lost his greed for a victory, yet, he said, in a half-apologetic manner to
his conscience, he could not but know that a defeat for the army this time
might mean many favorable things for him. The blows of the enemy would
splinter regiments into fragments. Thus, many men of courage, he
considered, would be obliged to desert the colors and scurry like
chickens. He would appear as one of them. They would be sullen
brothers in distress, and he could then easily believe he had not run
any farther or faster than they. And if he himself could believe
in his virtuous perfection, he conceived that there would be small trouble
in convincing all others.
He said, as if in excuse for this hope, that previously the army had
encountered great defeats and in a few months had shaken off all blood and
tradition of them, emerging as bright and valiant as a new one; thrusting out
of sight the memory of disaster, and appearing with the valor and confidence
of unconquered legions. The shrilling voices of the people at home would pipe
dismally for a time, but various general were usually compelled to
listen to these ditties. He of course felt no compunctions
for proposing a general as a sacrifice. He could not tell who the
chosen for the barbs might be, so he could center no direct sympathy upon
him. The people were afar and he did not conceive public opinion to be
accurate at long range. It was quite probable they would hit the wrong
man who, after he had recovered from his amazement would perhaps spend the
rest of his days in writing replies to the songs of his alleged
failure. It would be very unfortunate, no doubt, but in this case a
general was of no consequence to the youth.
In a defeat there would be a roundabout vindication of himself. He
thought it would prove, in a manner, that he had fled early because of his
superior powers of perception. A serious prophet upon predicting a
flood should be the first man to climb a tree. This would demonstrate that he
was indeed a seer.
A moral vindication was regarded by the youth as a very
important thing. Without salve, he could not, he though, were the sore
badge of his dishonor through life. With his heart continually
assuring him that he was despicable, he could not exist without making
it, through his actions, apparent to all men.
If the army had gone gloriously on he would be lost. If the din
meant that now his army's flags were tilted forward he was a condemned
wretch. He would be compelled to doom himself to isolation. If the men
were advancing, their indifferent feet were trampling upon his chances for a
successful life.
As these thoughts went rapidly through his mind, he turned upon them and
tried to thrust them away. He denounced himself as a villain. He said
that he was the most unutterably selfish man in existence. His mind pictured
the soldiers who would place their defiant bodies before the spear of the
yelling battle fiend, and as he saw their dripping corpses on an imagined
field, he said that he was their murderer.
Again he thought that he wished he was dead. He believed that
he envied a corpse. Thinking of the slain, he achieved a
great contempt for some of them, as if they were guilty for thus becoming
lifeless. They might have been killed by lucky chances, he said, before
they had had opportunities to flee or before they had been really
tested. Yet they would receive laurels from tradition. He cried
out bitterly that their crowns were stolen and their robes of glorious
memories were shams. However, he still said that it was a great pity he
was not as they.
A defeat of the army had suggested itself to him as a means of escape
from the consequences of his fall. He considered, now, however, that it
was useless to think of such a possibility. His education had been that
success for that might blue machine was certain; that it would make victories
as a contrivance turns out buttons. He presently discarded all his
speculations in the other direction. He returned to the creed of
soldiers.
When he perceived again that it was not possible for the army to be
defeated, he tried to bethink him of a fine tale which he could take back to
his regiment, and with it turn the expected shafts of derision.
But, as he mortally feared these shafts, it became impossible for him to
invent a tale he felt he could trust. He experimented with many
schemes, but threw them aside one by one as flimsy. He was quick to see
vulnerable places in them all.
Furthermore, he was much afraid that some arrow of scorn might lay him
mentally low before he could raise his protecting tale.
He imagined the whole regiment saying: "Where's Henry Fleming? He
run, didn't 'e? Oh, my!" He recalled various persons who would be
quite sure to leave him no peace about it. They would doubtless
question him with sneers, and laugh at his stammering hesitation. In
the next engagement they would try to keep watch of him to discover when he
would run.
Wherever he went in camp, he would encounter insolent and lingeringly
cruel stares. As he imagined himself passing near a crowd of comrades,
he could hear one say, "There he goes!"
Then, as if the heads were moved by one muscle, all the faces were
turned toward him with wide, derisive grins. He seemed to hear some one
make a humorous remark in a low tone. At it the others all crowed and
cackled. He was a slang phrase.
Chapter 12
The column that had butted stoutly at the obstacles in the roadway was
barely out of the youth's sight before he saw dark waves of men come sweeping
out of the woods and down through the fields. He knew at once that the
steel fibers had been washed from their hearts. They were bursting from
their coats and their equipments as from entanglements. They charged
down upon him like terrified buffaloes.
Behind them blue smoke curled and clouded above the treetops, and
through the thickets he could sometimes see a distant pink glare. The voices
of the cannon were clamoring in interminable chorus.
The youth was horrorstricken. He stared in agony and amazement. He
forgot that he was engaged in combating the universe. He threw aside his
mental pamphlets on the philosophy of the retreated and rules for the
guidance of the damned.
The fight was lost. The dragons were coming with invincible
strides. The army, helpless in the matted thickets and blinded by
the overhanging night, was going to be swallowed. War, the red
animal, war, the blood-swollen god, would have bloated fill.
Within him something bade to cry out. He had the impulse to make a
rallying speech, to sing a battle hymn, but he could only get his tongue to
call into the air: "Why--why--what--what 's th' matter?"
Soon he was in the midst of them. They were leaping and
scampering all about him. Their blanched faces shone in the dusk.
They seemed, for the most part, to be very burly men. The youth turned
from one to another of them as they galloped along. His
incoherent questions were lost. They were heedless of his
appeals. They did not seem to see him.
They sometimes gabbled insanely. One huge man was asking of the
sky: "Say, where de plank road? Where de plank road!" It was as
if he had lost a child. He wept in his pain and dismay.
Presently, men were running hither and thither in all ways. The
artillery booming, forward, rearward, and on the flanks made jumble of ideas
of direction. Landmarks had vanished into the gathered gloom. The
youth began to imagine that he had got into the center of the tremendous
quarrel, and he could perceive no way out of it. From the mouths of the
fleeing men came a thousand wild questions, but no one made answers.
The youth, after rushing about and throwing interrogations at
the heedless bands of retreating infantry, finally clutched a man by the
arm. They swung around face to face.
"Why--why--" stammered the youth struggling with his balking tongue.
The man screamed: "Let go me! Let go me!" His face was
livid and his eyes were rolling uncontrolled. He was heaving and
panting. He still grasped his rifle, perhaps having forgotten to
release his hold upon it. He tugged frantically, and the youth
being compelled to lean forward was dragged several paces.
"Let go me! Let go me!"
"Why--why--" stuttered the youth.
"Well, then!" bawled the man in a lurid rage. He adroitly
and fiercely swung his rifle. It crushed upon the youth's head. The
man ran on.
The youth's fingers had turned to paste upon the other's arm. The energy
was smitten from his muscles. He saw the flaming wings of lightning
flash before his vision. There was a deafening rumble of thunder within
his head.
Suddenly his legs seemed to die. He sank writhing to the
ground. He tried to arise. In his efforts against the numbing pain
he was like a man wrestling with a creature of the air.
There was a sinister struggle.
Sometimes he would achieve a position half erect, battle with the air
for a moment, and then fall again, grabbing at the grass. His face was of a
clammy pallor. Deep groans were wrenched from him.
At last, with a twisting movement, he got upon his hands and knees, and
from thence, like a babe trying to walk, to his feet. Pressing his hands to
his temples he went lurching over the grass.
He fought an intense battle with his body. His dulled
senses wished him to swoon and he opposed them stubbornly, his
mind portraying unknown dangers and mutilations if he should fall upon the
field. He went tall soldier fashion. He imagined secluded spots
where he could fall and be unmolested. To search for one he strove
against the tide of pain.
Once he put his hand to the top of his head and timidly touched the
wound. The scratching pain of the contact made him draw a long breath
through his clinched teeth. His fingers were dabbled with blood.
He regarded them with a fixed stare.
Around him he could hear the grumble of jolted cannon as the scurrying
horses were lashed toward the front. Once, a young officer on a
besplashed charger nearly ran him down. He turned and watched the mass
of guns, men, and horses sweeping in a wide curve toward a gap in a
fence. The officer was making excited motions with a gauntleted
hand. The guns followed the teams with an air of unwillingness, of
being dragged by the heels.
Some officers of the scattered infantry were cursing and railing like
fishwives. Their scolding voices could be heard above the din. Into the
unspeakable jumble in the roadway rode a squadron of cavalry. The faded
yellow of their facings shone bravely. There was a
mighty altercation.
The artillery were assembling as if for a conference.
The blue haze of evening was upon the field. The lines of
forest were long purple shadows. One cloud lay along the western
sky partly smothering the red.
As the youth left the scene behind him, he heard the guns suddenly roar
out. He imagined them shaking in black rage. They belched and howled
like brass devils guarding a gate. The soft air was filled with the
tremendous remonstrance. With it came the shattering peal of opposing
infantry. Turning to look behind him, he could see sheets of orange light
illumine the shadowy distance. There were subtle and sudden lightnings
in the far air. At times he thought he could see heaving masses of
men.
He hurried on in the dusk. The day had faded until he could
barely distinguish place for his feet. The purple darkness was filled
with men who lectured and jabbered. Sometimes he could see
them gesticulating against the blue and somber sky. There seemed to
be a great ruck of men and munitions spread about in the forest and in the
fields.
The little narrow roadway now lay lifeless. There were
overturned wagons like sun-dried bowlders. The bed of the former
torrent was choked with the bodies of horses and splintered parts of war
machines.
It had come to pass that his wound pained him but little. He
was afraid to move rapidly, however, for a dread of disturbing it. He held
his head very still and took many precautions against stumbling. He was
filled with anxiety, and his face was pinched and drawn in anticipation of
the pain of any sudden mistake of his feet in the gloom.
His thoughts, as he walked, fixed intently upon his hurt. There was a
cool, liquid feeling about it and he imagined blood moving slowly down under
his hair. His head seemed swollen to a size that made him think his
neck to be inadequate.
The new silence of his wound made much worriment. The
little blistering voices of pain that had called out from his scalp
were, he thought, definite in their expression of danger. By them
he believed he could measure his plight. But when they
remained ominously silent he became frightened and imagined
terrible fingers that clutched into his brain.
Amid it he began to reflect upon various incidents and conditions of the
past. He bethought him of certain meals his mother had cooked at home,
in which those dishes of which he was particularly fond had occupied
prominent positions. He saw the spread table. The pine walls of the
kitchen were glowing in the warm light from the stove. Too, he
remembered how he and his companions used to go from the school-house to the
bank of a shaded pool. He saw his clothes in disorderly array upon the grass
of the bank. He felt the swash of the fragrant water upon his body. The
leaves of the overhanging maple rustled with melody in the wind of youthful
summer.
He was overcome presently by a dragging weariness. His head
hung forward and his shoulders were stooped as if he were bearing a great
bundle. His feet shuffled along the ground.
He held continuous arguments as to whether he should lie down and sleep
at some near spot, or force himself on until he reached a certain
haven. He often tried to dismiss the question, but his body persisted
in rebellion and his senses nagged at him like pampered babies.
At last he heard a cheery voice near his shoulder: "Yeh seem t' be in a
pretty bad way, boy?"
The youth did not look up, but he assented with thick tongue. "Uh!"
The owner of the cheery voice took him firmly by the arm. "Well," he
said, with a round laugh, "I'm goin' your way. "Th' hull gang is goin' your
way. An' I guess I kin give yeh a lift." They began to walk like
a drunken man and his friend.
As they went along, the man questioned the youth and assisted him with
the replies like one manipulating the mind of a child. Sometimes he
interjected anecdotes. "What reg'ment do yeh b'long teh?
Eh? What 's that? Th' 304th N' York? Why, what corps
is that in? Oh, it is? Why, I thought they wasn't engaged t'-day
- they 're 'way over in th' center. Oh, they was, eh? Well
pretty nearly everybody got their share 'a fightin' t'-day. By dad,
I give myself up fer dead any number 'a times. There was
shootin' here an' shootin' there, an' hollerin' here an' hollerin'
there, in th' damn' darkness, until I couldn't tell t' save m' soul which
side I was on. Sometimes I thought I was sure 'nough from Ohier, an'
other times I could 'a swore I was from th' bitter end of Florida. It
was th' most mixed up dern thing I ever see. An' these here hull woods is a
reg'lar mess. It 'll be a miracle if we find our reg'ments
t'-night. Pretty soon, though, we 'll meet a-plenty of guards an'
provost-guards, an' one thing an' another. Ho! there they go with an
off'cer, I guess. Look at his hand a-draggin'. He 's got all th' war he
wants, I bet. He won't be talkin' so big about his reputation an' all
when they go t' sawin' off his leg. Poor feller! My brother 's got
whiskers jest like that. How did yeh git 'way over here, anyhow?
Your reg'ment is a long way from here, ain't it? Well, I guess we can
find it. Yeh know there was a boy killed in my comp'ny t'-day that I
thought th' world an' all of. Jack was a nice feller. By ginger, it
hurt like thunder t' see ol' Jack jest git knocked flat. We was
a-standin' purty peaceable fer a spell, 'though there was men runnin' ev'ry
way all 'round us, an' while we was a-standin' like that, 'long come a big
fat feller. He began t' peck at Jack's elbow, an' he ses: 'Say, where
's th' road t' th' river?' An' Jack, he never paid no attention, an'
th' feller kept on a-peckin' at his elbow an' sayin': 'Say, where
's th' road t' th' river?' Jack was a-lookin' ahead all th' time tryin' t'
see th' Johnnies comin' through th' woods, an' he never paid no attention t'
this big fat feller fer a long time, but at last he turned 'round an' he
ses: 'Ah, go t' hell an' find th' road t' th' river!' An' jest then a
shot slapped him bang on th' side th' head. He was a sergeant, too.
Them was his last words. Thunder, I wish we was sure 'a findin' our
reg'ments t'-night. It 's goin' t' be long huntin'. But I guess we kin
do it."
In the search which followed, the man of the cheery voice seemed to the
youth to possess a wand of a magic kind. He threaded the mazes of the
tangled forest with a strange fortune. In encounters with guards and
patrols he displayed the keenness of a detective and the valor of a
gamin. Obstacles fell before him and became of assistance. The
youth, with his chin still on his breast, stood woodenly by while his
companion beat ways and means out of sullen things.
The forest seemed a vast hive of men buzzing about in frantic
circles, but the cheery man conducted the youth without mistakes, until at
last he began to chuckle with glee and self-satisfaction. "Ah, there
yeh are! See that fire?"
The youth nodded stupidly.
"Well, there 's where your reg'ment is. An' now, good-by, ol'
boy, good luck t' yeh."
A warm and strong hand clasped the youth's languid fingers for an
instant, and then he heard a cheerful and audacious whistling as the man
strode away. As he who had so befriended him was thus passing out of his
life, it suddenly occurred to the youth that he had not once seen his
face.
Chapter 13
The youth went slowly toward the fire indicated by his departed
friend. As he reeled, he bethought him of the welcome his comrades would give
him. He had a conviction that he would soon feel in his sore heart the
barbed missiles of ridicule. He had no strength to invent a tale; he
would be a soft target.
He made vague plans to go off into the deeper darkness and hide, but
they were all destroyed by the voices of exhaustion and pain from his
body. His ailments, clamoring, forced him to seek the place of food and
rest, at whatever cost.
He swung unsteadily toward the fire. He could see the forms of men
throwing black shadows in the red light, and as he went nearer it became
known to him in some way that the ground was strewn with sleeping men.
Of a sudden he confronted a black and monstrous figure. A
rifle barrel caught some glinting beams. "Halt! halt!" He was
dismayed for a moment, but he presently thought that he recognized
the nervous voice. As he stood tottering before the rifle barrel, he
called out: "Why, hello, Wilson, you--you here?"
The rifle was lowered to a position of caution and the loud soldier came
slowly forward. He peered into the youth's face. "That you,
Henry?"
"Yes, it's--it's me."
"Well, well, ol' boy," said the other, "by ginger, I'm glad t' see
yeh! I give yeh up fer a goner. I thought yeh was dead sure
enough." There was husky emotion in his voice.
The youth found that now he could barely stand upon his feet. There was
a sudden sinking of his forces. He thought he must hasten to produce
his tale to protect him from the missiles already on the lips of his
redoubtable comrades. So, staggering before the loud soldier, he
began: "Yes, yes. I've--I've had an awful time. I've been
all over. Way over on th' right. Ter'ble fightin' over there. I
had an awful time. I got separated from the reg'ment. Over on th'
right, I got shot. In th' head. I never see sech fightin'. Awful
time. I don't see how I could a' got separated from th' reg'ment.
I got shot, too."
His friend had stepped forward quickly. "What? Got shot? Why
didn't yeh say so first? Poor ol' boy, we must--hol' on a minnit; what
am I doin'. I'll call Simpson."
Another figure at that moment loomed in the gloom. They could see
that it was the corporal. "Who yeh talkin' to, Wilson?" he
demanded. His voice was anger- toned. "Who yeh talkin' to? Yeh
th' derndest sentinel--why--hello, Henry, you here? Why, I thought you
was dead four hours ago! Great Jerusalem, they keep turnin' up every
ten minutes or so! We thought we'd lost forty-two men by straight
count, but if they keep on a-comin' this way, we'll git th' comp'ny all back
by mornin' yit. Where was yeh?"
"Over on th' right. I got separated"--began the youth
with considerable glibness.
But his friend had interrupted hastily. "Yes, an' he got shot
in th' head an' he's in a fix, an' we must see t' him right away." He
rested his rifle in the hollow of his left arm and his right around the
youth's shoulder.
"Gee, it must hurt like thunder!" he said.
The youth leaned heavily upon his friend. "Yes, it hurts--hurts a
good deal," he replied. There was a faltering in his voice.
"Oh," said the corporal. He linked his arm in the youth's and drew
him forward. "Come on, Henry. I'll take keer 'a yeh."
As they went on together the loud private called out after them: "Put
'im t' sleep in my blanket, Simpson. An'--hol' on a minnit --here's my
canteen. It's full 'a coffee. Look at his head by th' fire an'
see how it looks. Maybe it's a pretty bad un. When I git relieved
in a couple 'a minnits, I'll be over an' see t' him."
The youth's senses were so deadened that his friend's voice sounded from
afar and he could scarcely feel the pressure of the corporal's arm. He
submitted passively to the latter's directing strength. His head was in the
old manner hanging forward upon his breast. His knees wobbled.
The corporal led him into the glare of the fire. "Now, Henry," he
said, "let's have look at yer ol' head."
The youth sat obediently and the corporal, laying aside his rifle, began
to fumble in the bushy hair of his comrade. He was obliged to turn the
other's head so that the full flush of the fire light would beam upon
it. He puckered his mouth with a critical air. He drew back his lips
and whistled through his teeth when his fingers came in contact with the
splashed blood and the rare wound.
"Ah, here we are!" he said. He awkwardly made further
investigations. "Jest as I thought," he added, presently. "Yeh've been
grazed by a ball. It's raised a queer lump jest as if some feller had lammed
yeh on th' head with a club. It stopped a-bleedin' long time ago.
Th' most about it is that in th' mornin' yeh'll fell that a number ten hat
wouldn't fit yeh. An' your head'll be all het up an' feel as dry as
burnt pork. An' yeh may git a lot 'a other sicknesses, too, by mornin'.
Yeh can't never tell. Still, I don't much think so. It's jest a
damn' good belt on th' head, an' nothin' more. Now, you jest sit here
an' don't move, while I go rout out th' relief. Then I'll send Wilson
t' take keer 'a yeh."
The corporal went away. The youth remained on the ground like a
parcel. He stared with a vacant look into the fire.
After a time he aroused, for some part, and the things about him began
to take form. He saw that the ground in the deep shadows was cluttered
with men, sprawling in every conceivable posture. Glancing narrowly into the
more distant darkness, he caught occasional glimpses of visages that loomed
pallid and ghostly, lit with a phosphorescent glow. These faces
expressed in their lines the deep stupor of the tired soldiers. They
made them appear like men drunk with wine. This bit of forest
might have appeared to an ethereal wanderer as a scene of the result of
some frightful debauch.
On the other side of the fire the youth observed an officer
asleep, seated bolt upright, with his back against a tree. There
was something perilous in his position. Badgered by dreams, perhaps,
he swayed with little bounces and starts, like an old, toddy-stricken
grandfather in a chimney corner. Dust and stains were upon his
face. His lower jaw hung down as if lacking strength to assume its
normal position. He was the picture of an exhausted soldier after a
feast of war.
He had evidently gone to sleep with his sword in his arms. These two had
slumbered in an embrace, but the weapon had been allowed in time to fall
unheeded to the ground. The brass-mounted hilt lay in contact with some
parts of the fire.
Within the gleam of rose and orange light from the burning sticks were
other soldiers, snoring and heaving, or lying deathlike in slumber. A
few pairs of legs were stuck forth, rigid and straight. The shoes
displayed the mud or dust of marches and bits of rounded trousers, protruding
from the blankets, showed rents and tears from hurried pitchings through the
dense brambles.
The fire cackled musically. From it swelled light smoke. Overhead
the foliage moved softly. The leaves, with their faces turned toward
the blaze, were colored shifting hues of silver, often edged with red.
Far off to the right, through a window in the forest could be seen a handful
of stars lying, like glittering pebbles, on the black level of the
night.
Occasionally, in this low-arched hall, a soldier would arouse and turn
his body to a new position, the experience of his sleep having taught him of
uneven and objectionable places upon the ground under him. Or, perhaps,
he would lift himself to a sitting posture, blink at the fire for an
unintelligent moment, throw a swift glance at his prostrate companion, and
then cuddle down again with a grunt of sleepy content.
The youth sat in a forlorn heap until his friend the loud young soldier
came, swinging two canteens by their light strings. "Well, now, Henry, ol'
boy," said the latter, "we'll have yeh fixed up in jest about a
minnit."
He had the bustling ways of an amateur nurse. He fussed around the
fire and stirred the sticks to brilliant exertions. He made his patient
drink largely from the canteen that contained the coffee. It was to the youth
a delicious draught. He tilted his head afar back and held the canteen
long to his lips. The cool mixture went caressingly down his blistered
throat. Having finished, he sighed with comfortable delight.
The loud young soldier watched his comrade with an air
of satisfaction. He later produced an extensive handkerchief
from his pocket. He folded it into a manner of bandage and
soused water from the other canteen upon the middle of it. This
crude arrangement he bound over the youth's head, tying the ends in
a queer knot at the back of the neck.
"There," he said, moving off and surveying his deed, "yeh look like th'
devil, but I bet yeh feel better."
The youth contemplated his friend with grateful eyes. Upon his
aching and swelling head the cold cloth was like a tender woman's hand.
"Yeh don't holler ner say nothin'," remarked his friend approvingly. "I
know I'm a blacksmith at takin' keer 'a sick folks, an' yeh never
squeaked. Yer a good un, Henry. Most 'a men would a' been in th'
hospital long ago. A shot in th' head ain't foolin' business."
The youth made no reply, but began to fumble with the buttons of his
jacket.
"Well, come, now," continued his friend, "come on. I must put yeh
t' bed an' see that yeh git a good night's rest."
The other got carefully erect, and the loud young soldier led him among
the sleeping forms lying in groups and rows. Presently he stooped and
picked up his blankets. He spread the rubber one upon the ground and
placed the woolen one about the youth's shoulders.
"There now," he said, "lie down an' git some sleep."
The youth, with his manner of doglike obedience, got carefully down like
a crone stooping. He stretched out with a murmur of relief and
comfort. The ground felt like the softest couch.
But of a sudden he ejaculated: "Hol' on a minnit! Where
you goin' t' sleep?"
His friend waved his hand impatiently. "Right down there by
yeh."
"Well, but hol' on a minnit," continued the youth. "What yeh goin'
t' sleep in? I've got your--"
The loud young soldier snarled: "Shet up an' go on t' sleep. Don't
be makin' a damn' fool 'a yerself," he said severely.
After the reproof the youth said no more. An exquisite drowsiness
had spread through him. The warm comfort of the blanket enveloped him
and made a gentle langour. His head fell forward on his crooked arm and
his weighted lids went softly down over his eyes. Hearing a splatter of
musketry from the distance, he wondered indifferently if those men sometimes
slept. He gave a long sigh, snuggled down into his blanket, and in a
moment was like his comrades.
Chapter 14
When the youth awoke it seemed to him that he had been asleep for a
thousand years, and he felt sure that he opened his eyes upon an unexpected
world. Gray mists were slowly shifting before the first efforts of the
sun rays. An impending splendor could be seen in the eastern sky.
An icy dew had chilled his face, and immediately upon arousing he curled
farther down into his blanket. He stared for a while at the leaves
overhead, moving in a heraldic wind of the day.
The distance was splintering and blaring with the noise
of fighting. There was in the sound an expression of a
deadly persistency, as if it had not began and was not to cease.
About him were the rows and groups of men that he had dimly seen the
previous night. They were getting a last draught of sleep before the
awakening. The gaunt, careworn features and dusty figures were made
plain by this quaint light at the dawning, but it dressed the skin of the men
in corpse-like hues and made the tangled limbs appear pulseless and
dead. The youth started up with a little cry when his eyes first swept
over this motionless mass of men, thick-spread upon the ground, pallid, and
in strange postures. His disordered mind interpreted the hall of the
forest as a charnel place. He believed for an instant that he was in
the house of the dead, and he did not dare to move lest these corpses start
up, squalling and squawking. In a second, however, he achieved his
proper mind. He swore a complicated oath at himself. He saw that
this somber picture was not a fact of the present, but a mere prophecy.
He heard then the noise of a fire crackling briskly in the cold
air, and, turning his head, he saw his friend pottering busily about a
small blaze. A few other figures moved in the fog, and he heard the
hard cracking of axe blows.
Suddenly there was a hollow rumble of drums. A distant bugle sang
faintly. Similar sounds, varying in strength, came from near and far
over the forest. The bugles called to each other like brazen
gamecocks. The near thunder of the regimental drums rolled.
The body of men in the woods rustled. There was a
general uplifting of heads. A murmuring of voices broke upon the
air. In it there was much bass of grumbling oaths. Strange gods
were addressed in condemnation of the early hours necessary to correct
war. An officer's peremptory tenor rang out and quickened the stiffened
movement of the men. The tangled limbs unraveled. The corpse-hued
faces were hidden behind fists that twisted slowly in the eye sockets.
The youth sat up and gave vent to an enormous yawn. "Thunder!" he
remarked petulantly. He rubbed his eyes, and then putting up his hand
felt carefully the bandage over his wound. His friend, perceiving him
to be awake, came from the fire. "Well, Henry, ol' man, how do yeh feel
this mornin'?" he demanded.
The youth yawned again. Then he puckered his mouth to a little
pucker. His head, in truth, felt precisely like a melon, and there was
an unpleasant sensation at his stomach.
"Oh, Lord, I feel pretty bad," he said.
"Thunder!" exclaimed the other. "I hoped ye'd feel all right this
mornin'. Let's see th' bandage--I guess it's slipped." He began to
tinker at the wound in rather a clumsy way until the youth exploded.
"Gosh-dern it!" he said in sharp irritation; "you're the hangdest man I
ever saw! You wear muffs on your hands. Why in good thunderation
can't you be more easy? I'd rather you'd stand off an' throw guns at
it. Now, go slow, an' don't act as if you was nailing down
carpet."
He glared with insolent command at his friend, but the latter answered
soothingly. "Well, well, come now, an' git some grub," he said.
"Then, maybe, yeh'll feel better."
At the fireside the loud young soldier watched over his comrade's wants
with tenderness and care. He was very busy marshaling the little black
vagabonds of tin cups and pouring into them the streaming iron colored
mixture from a small and sooty tin pail. He had some fresh meat, which he
roasted hurriedly on a stick. He sat down then and contemplated the youth's
appetite with glee.
The youth took note of a remarkable change in his comrade since those
days of camp life upon the river bank. He seemed no more to be
continually regarding the proportions of his personal prowess. He was not
furious at small words that pricked his conceits. He was no more a loud young
soldier. There was about him now a fine reliance. He showed a
quiet belief in his purposes and his abilities. And this inward
confidence evidently enabled him to be indifferent to little words of other
men aimed at him.
The youth reflected. He had been used to regarding his comrade as
a blatant child with an audacity grown from his inexperience, thoughtless,
headstrong, jealous, and filled with a tinsel courage. A swaggering babe
accustomed to strut in his own dooryard. The youth wondered where had been
born these new eyes; when his comrade had made the great discovery that
there were many men who would refuse to be subjected by him. Apparently,
the other had now climbed a peak of wisdom from which he could perceive
himself as a very wee thing. And the youth saw that ever after it would
be easier to live in his friend's neighborhood.
His comrade balanced his ebony coffee-cup on his knee. "Well, Henry," he
said, "what d'yeh think th' chances are? D'yeh think we'll wallop 'em?"
The youth considered for a moment. "Day-b'fore-yesterday," he
finally replied, with boldness, "you would 'a' bet you'd lick the hull
kit-an'-boodle all by yourself."
His friend looked a trifle amazed. "Would I?" he asked. He
pondered. "Well, perhaps I would," he decided at last. He stared humbly
at the fire.
The youth was quite disconcerted at this surprising reception of his
remarks. "Oh, no, you wouldn't either," he said, hastily trying to
retrace.
But the other made a deprecating gesture. "Oh, yeh needn't
mind, Henry," he said. "I believe I was a pretty big fool in those
days." He spoke as after a lapse of years.
There was a little pause.
"All th' officers say we've got th' rebs in a pretty tight box," said
the friend, clearing his throat in a commonplace way. "They all seem t' think
we've got 'em jest where we want 'em."
"I don't know about that," the youth replied. "What I seen over
on th' right makes me think it was th' other way about. From where I
was, it looked as if we was gettin' a good poundin' yestirday."
"D'yeh think so?" inquired the friend. "I thought we handled
'em pretty rough yestirday."
"Not a bit," said the youth. "Why, lord, man, you didn't
see nothing of the fight. Why!" Then a sudden thought came to
him. "Oh! Jim Conklin's dead."
His friend started. "What? Is he? Jim Conklin?"
The youth spoke slowly. "Yes. He's dead. Shot in th'
side."
"Yeh don't say so. Jim Conklin. . .poor cuss!"
All about them were other small fires surrounded by men with their
little black utensils. From one of these near came sudden sharp voices
in a row. It appeared that two light-footed soldiers had been teasing a
huge, bearded man, causing him to spill coffee upon his blue knees. The
man had gone into a rage and had sworn comprehensively. Stung by his
language, his tormentors had immediately bristled at him with a great
show of resenting unjust oaths. Possibly there was going to be a
fight.
The friend arose and went over to them, making pacific motions with his
arms. "Oh, here, now, boys, what's th' use?" he said. "We'll be at th'
rebs in less'n an hour. What's th' good fightin' 'mong
ourselves?"
One of the light-footed soldiers turned upon him red-faced and
violent. "Yeh needn't come around here with yer preachin'. I s'pose yeh
don't approve 'a fightin' since Charley Morgan licked yeh; but I don't
see what business this here is 'a yours or anybody else."
"Well, it ain't," said the friend mildly. "Still I hate t'
see--"
There was a tangled argument.
"Well, he--," said the two, indicating their opponent with accusative
forefingers.
The huge soldier was quite purple with rage. He pointed at the two
soldiers with his great hand, extended clawlike. "Well, they--"
But during this argumentative time the desire to deal blows seemed to
pass, although they said much to each other. Finally the friend
returned to his old seat. In a short while the three antagonists could
be seen together in an amiable bunch.
"Jimmie Rogers ses I'll have t' fight him after th' battle
t'-day," announced the friend as he again seated himself. "He ses he
don't allow no interferin' in his business. I hate t' see th'
boys fightin' 'mong themselves."
The youth laughed. "Yer changed a good bit. Yeh ain't at
all like yeh was. I remember when you an' that Irish feller--"
He stopped and laughed again.
"No, I didn't use t' be that way," said his friend thoughtfully. "That's
true 'nough."
"Well, I didn't mean--" began the youth.
The friend made another deprecatory gesture. "Oh, yeh needn't mind,
Henry."
There was another little pause.
"Th' reg'ment lost over half th' men yestirday," remarked the friend
eventually. "I thought 'a course they was all dead, but, laws, they
kep' a-comin' back last night until it seems, after all, we didn't lose but a
few. They'd been scattered all over, wanderin' around in th' woods,
fightin' with other reg'ments, an' everything. Jest like you
done."
"So?" said the youth.
Chapter 15
The regiment was standing at order arms at the side of a lane, waiting
for the command to march, when suddenly the youth remembered the little
packet enwrapped in a faded yellow envelope which the loud young soldier with
lugubrious words had intrusted to him. It made him start. He
uttered an exclamation and turned toward his comrade.
"Wilson!"
"What?"
His friend, at his side in the ranks, was thoughtfully staring down the
road. From some cause his expression was at that moment very
meek. The youth, regarding him with sidelong glances, felt impelled to
change his purpose. "Oh, nothing," he said.
His friend turned his head in some surprise, "Why, what was yeh goin' t'
say?"
"Oh, nothing," repeated the youth.
He resolved not to deal the little blow. It was sufficient
that the fact made him glad. It was not necessary to knock his
friend on the head with the misguided packet.
He had been possessed of much fear of his friend, for he saw how easily
questionings could make holes in his feelings. Lately, he had assured
himself that the altered comrade would not tantalize him with a persistent
curiousity, but he felt certain that during the first period of leisure his
friend would ask him to relate his adventures of the previous day.
He now rejoiced in the possession of a small weapon with which he could
prostrate his comrade at the first signs of a cross-examination. He was
master. It would now be he who could laugh and shoot the shafts of
derision.
The friend had, in a weak hour, spoken with sobs of his own death. He
had delivered a melancholy oration previous to his funeral, and had doubtless
in the packet of letters, presented various keepsakes to relatives. But
he had not died, and thus he had delivered himself into the hands of the
youth.
The latter felt immensely superior to his friend, but he inclined to
condescension. He adopted toward him an air of patronizing good
humor.
His self-pride was now entirely restored. In the shade of
its flourishing growth he stood with braced and self-confident legs, and
since nothing could now be discovered he did not shrink from an encounter
with the eyes of judges, and allowed no thoughts of his own to keep him from
an attitude of manfulness. He had performed his mistakes in the dark,
so he was still a man.
Indeed, when he remembered his fortunes of yesterday, and looked at them
from a distance he began to see something fine there. He had license to be
pompous and veteranlike.
His panting agonies of the past he put out of his sight.
In the present, he declared to himself that it was only the doomed and
the damned who roared with sincerity at circumstance. Few but they ever did
it. A man with a full stomach and the respect of his fellows had no
business to scold about anything that he might think to be wrong in the ways
of the universe, or even with the ways of society. Let the unfortunates
rail; the others may play marbles.
He did not give a great deal of thought to these battles that
lay directly before him. It was not essential that he should
plan his ways in regard to them. He had been taught that
many obligations of a life were easily avoided. The lessons
of yesterday had been that retribution was a laggard and blind. With these
facts before him he did not deem it necessary that he should become feverish
over the possibilities of the ensuing twenty-four hours. He could leave
much to chance. Besides, a faith in himself had secretly
blossomed. There was a little flower of confidence growing within
him. He was now a man of experience. He had been out among the
dragons, he said, and he assured himself that they were not so hideous as he
had imagined them. Also, they were inaccurate; they did not
sting with precision. A stout heart often defied, and defying,
escaped.
And, furthermore, how could they kill him who was the chosen of gods and
doomed to greatness?
He remembered how some of the men had run from the battle. As he
recalled their terror-struck faces he felt a scorn for them. They had surely
been more fleet and more wild than was absolutely necessary. They were
weak mortals. As for himself, he had fled with discretion and
dignity.
He was aroused from this reverie by his friend, who, having hitched
about nervously and blinked at the trees for a time, suddenly coughed in an
introductory way, and spoke.
"Fleming!"
"What?"
The friend put his hand up to his mouth and coughed again. He fidgeted
in his jacket.
"Well," he gulped at last, "I guess yeh might as well give me back them
letters." Dark, prickling blood had flushed into his cheeks and
brow.
"All right, Wilson," said the youth. He loosened two buttons of
his coat, thrust in his hand, and brought forth the packet. As he extended it
to his friend the latter's face was turned from him.
He had been slow in the act of producing the packet because during it he
had been trying to invent a remarkable comment on the affair. He could
conjure up nothing of sufficient point. He was compelled to allow his friend
to escape unmolested with his packet. And for this he took unto himself
considerable credit. It was a generous thing.
His friend at his side seemed suffering great shame. As
he contemplated him, the youth felt his heart grow more strong and
stout. He had never been compelled to blush in such manner for his
acts; he was an individual of extraordinary virtues.
He reflected, with condescending pity: "Too bad! Too
bad! The poor devil, it makes him feel tough!"
After this incident, and as he reviewed the battle pictures he had seen,
he felt quite competent to return home and make the hearts of the people glow
with stories of war. He could see himself in a room of warm tints
telling tales to listener. He could exhibit laurels. They were
insignificant; still, in a district where laurels were infrequent, they might
shine.
He saw his gaping audience picturing him as the central figure in
blazing scenes. And he imagined the consternation and the ejaculations
of his mother and the young lady at the seminary as they drank his
recitals. Their vague feminine formula for beloved ones doing brave
deeds on the field of battle without risk of life would be destroyed.
Chapter 16
A sputtering of musketry was always to be heard. Later, the cannon
had entered the dispute. In the fog-filled air their voices made a
thudding sound. The reverberations were continual. This part of the
world led a strange, battleful existence.
The youth's regiment was marched to relieve a command that had lain long
in some damp trenches. The men took positions behind a curving line of
rifle pits that had been turned up, like a large furrow, along the line of
woods. Before them was a level stretch, peopled with short, deformed
stumps. From the woods beyond came the dull popping of the skirmishers
and pickets, firing in the fog. From the right came the noise of a terrific
fracas.
The men cuddled behind the small embankment and sat in easy
attitudes awaiting their turn. Many had their backs to the
firing. The youth's friend lay down, buried his face in his arms, and
almost instantly, it seemed, he was in a deep sleep.
The youth leaned his breast against the brown dirt and peered over
at the woods and up and down the line. Curtains of trees interfered
with his ways of vision. He could see the low line of trenches but for
a short distance. A few idle flags were perched on the dirt
hills. Behind them were rows of dark bodies with a few heads sticking
curiously over the top.
Always the noise of skirmishers came from the woods on the front and
left, and the din on the right had grown to frightful proportions. The
guns were roaring without an instant's pause for breath. It seemed that
the cannon had come from all parts and were engaged in a stupendous
wrangle. It became impossible to make a sentence heard.
The youth wished to launch a joke--a quotation from newspapers. He
desired to say, "All quiet on the Rappahannock," but the guns refused to
permit even a comment upon their uproar. He never successfully
concluded the sentence. But at last the guns stopped, and among the men
in the rifle pits rumors again flew, like birds, but they were now for
the most part black creatures who flapped their wings drearily near to the
ground and refused to rise on any wings of hope. The men's faces grew
doleful from the interpreting of omens. Tales of hesitation and
uncertainty on the part of those high in place and responsibility came
to their ears. Stories of disaster were borne into their minds
with many proofs. This din of musketry on the right, growing like
a released genie of sound, expressed and emphasized the army's plight.
The men were disheartened and began to mutter. They made gestures
expressive of the sentence: "Ah, what more can we do?" And it could
always be seen that they were bewildered by the alleged news and could not
fully comprehend a defeat.
Before the gray mists had been totally obliterated by the sun rays, the
regiment was marching in a spread column that was retiring carefully through
the woods. The disordered, hurrying lines of the enemy could sometimes
be seen down through the groves and little fields. They were yelling,
shrill and exultant.
At this sight the youth forgot many personal matters and became greatly
enraged. He exploded in loud sentences. "B'jiminey, we're
generaled by a lot 'a lunkheads."
"More than one feller has said that t'-day," observed a man.
His friend, recently aroused, was still very drowsy. He
looked behind him until his mind took in the meaning of the movement. Then
he sighed. "Oh, well, I s'pose we got licked," he remarked sadly.
The youth had a thought that it would not be handsome for him to freely
condemn other men. He made an attempt to restrain himself, but the
words upon his tongue were too bitter. He presently began a long and
intricate denunciation of the commander of the forces.
"Mebbe, it wa'n't all his fault--not all together. He did th'
best he knowed. It's our luck t' git licked often," said his
friend in a weary tone. He was trudging along with stooped
shoulders and shifting eyes like a man who has been caned and kicked.
"Well, don't we fight like the devil? Don't we do all that men
can?" demanded the youth loudly.
He was secretly dumfounded at this sentiment when it came from his
lips. For a moment his face lost its valor and he looked guiltily about
him. But no one questioned his right to deal in such words, and
presently he recovered his air of courage. He went on to repeat a statement
he had heard going from group to group at the camp that morning. "The
brigadier said he never saw a new reg'ment fight the way we fought yestirday,
didn't he? And we didn't do better than many another reg'ment, did
we? Well, then, you can't say it's th' army's fault, can you?"
In his reply, the friend's voice was stern. "'A course not," he
said. "No man dare say we don't fight like th' devil. No man will ever
dare say it. Th' boys fight like hell-roosters. But still--still, we
don't have no luck."
"Well, then, if we fight like the devil an' don't ever whip, it must be
the general's fault," said the youth grandly and decisively. "And I don't see
any sense in fighting and fighting and fighting, yet always losing through
some derned old lunkhead of a general."
A sarcastic man who was tramping at the youth's side, then spoke
lazily. "Mebbe yeh think yeh fit th' hull battle yestirday, Fleming,"
he remarked.
The speech pierced the youth. Inwardly he was reduced to an abject
pulp by these chance words. His legs quaked privately. He cast a
frightened glance at the sarcastic man.
"Why, no," he hastened to say in a conciliating voice "I don't think I
fought the whole battle yesterday."
But the other seemed innocent of any deeper meaning.
Apparently, he had no information. It was merely his habit. "Oh!"
he replied in the same tone of calm derision.
The youth, nevertheless, felt a threat. His mind shrank from going
near to the danger, and thereafter he was silent. The significance of the
sarcastic man's words took from him all loud moods that would make him appear
prominent. He became suddenly a modest person.
There was low-toned talk among the troops. The officers
were impatient and snappy, their countenances clouded with the tales of
misfortune. The troops, sifting through the forest, were sullen. In the
youth's company once a man's laugh rang out. A dozen soldiers turned
their faces quickly toward him and frowned with vague displeasure.
The noise of firing dogged their footsteps. Sometimes, it seemed to
be driven a little way, but it always returned again with increased
insolence. The men muttered and cursed, throwing black looks in its
direction.
In a clear space the troops were at last halted. Regiments and
brigades, broken and detached through their encounters with thickets, grew
together again and lines were faced toward the pursuing bark of the enemy's
infantry.
This noise, following like the yelpings of eager, metallic
hounds, increased to a loud and joyous burst, and then, as the sun went
serenely up the sky, throwing illuminating rays into the gloomy thickets, it
broke forth into prolonged pealings. The woods began to crackle as if
afire.
"Whoop-a-dadee," said a man, "here we are! Everybody
fightin'. Blood an' destruction."
"I was willin' t' bet they'd attack as soon as th' sun got fairly
up," savagely asserted the lieutenant who commanded the youth's
company. He jerked without mercy at his little mustache. He strode to
and fro with dark dignity in the rear of his men, who were lying down
behind whatever protection they had collected.
A battery had trundled into position in the rear and was
thoughtfully shelling the distance. The regiment, unmolested as yet,
awaited the moment when the gray shadows of the woods before them should
be slashed by the lines of flame. There was much growling and
swearing.
"Good Gawd," the youth grumbled, "we're always being chased around like
rats! It makes me sick. Nobody seems to know where we go or why
we go. We just get fired around from pillar to post and get licked here
and get licked there, and nobody knows what it's done for. It makes a
man feel like a damn' kitten in a bag. Now, I'd like to know what the eternal
thunders we was marched into these woods for anyhow, unless it was to give
the rebs a regular pot shot at us. We came in here and got our legs
all tangled up in these cussed briers, and then we begin to fight and the
rebs had an easy time of it. Don't tell me it's just luck! I know
better. It's this derned old--"
The friend seemed jaded, but he interrupted his comrade with a voice of
calm confidence. "It'll turn out all right in th' end," he said.
"Oh ,the devil it will! You always talk like a dog-hanged
parson. Don't tell me! I know--"
At this time there was an interposition by the savage-minded
lieutenant, who was obliged to vent some of his inward dissatisfaction upon
his men. "You boys shut right up! There no need 'a your wastin' your breath
in long-winded arguments about this an' that an' th' other. You've
been jawin' like a lot 'a old hens. All you've got t' do is to
fight, an' you'll get plenty 'a that t' do in about ten minutes. Less
talkin' an' more fightin' is what's best for you boys. I never saw
sech gabbling jackasses."
He paused, ready to pounce upon any man who might have the temerity to
reply. No words being said, he resumed his dignified pacing.
"There's too much chin music an' too little fightin' in this
war, anyhow," he said to them, turning his head for a final remark.
The day had grown more white, until the sun shed his full radiance upon
the thronged forest. A sort of a gust of battle came sweeping toward
that part of the line where lay the youth's regiment. The front shifted
a trifle to meet it squarely. There was a wait. In this part of the
field there passed slowly the intense moments that precede the tempest.
A single rifle flashed in a thicket before the regiment. In
an instant it was joined by many others. There was a mighty song of
clashes and crashes that went sweeping through the woods. The guns in the
rear, aroused and enraged by shells that had been thrown burr-like at them,
suddenly involved themselves in a hideous altercation with another band of
guns. The battle roar settled to a rolling thunder, which was a single,
long explosion.
In the regiment there was a peculiar kind of hesitation denoted in
the attitudes of the men. They were worn, exhausted, having slept
but little and labored much. They rolled their eyes toward the
advancing battle as they stood awaiting the shock. Some shrank and
flinched. They stood as men tied to stakes.
Chapter 17
This advance of the enemy had seemed to the youth like a ruthless
hunting. He began to fume with rage and exasperation. He beat his foot upon
the ground, and scowled with hate at the swirling smoke that was approaching
like a phantom flood. There was a maddening quality in this seeming
resolution of the foe to give him no rest, to give him no time to sit down
and think. Yesterday he had fought and had fled rapidly. There had been
many adventures. For to-day he felt that he had earned
opportunities for contemplative repose. He could have enjoyed
portraying to uninitiated listeners various scenes at which he had been a
witness or ably discussing the processes of war with other proved men. Too
it was important that he should have time for physical recuperation. He was
sore and stiff from his experiences. He had received his fill of all
exertions, and he wished to rest.
But those other men seemed never to grow weary; they were fighting with
their old speed. He had a wild hate for the relentless foe. Yesterday,
when he had imagined the universe to be against him, he had hated it, little
gods and big gods; to-day he hated the army of the foe with the same great
hatred. He was not going to be badgered of his life, like a kitten
chased by boys, he said. It was not well to drive men into final corners; at
those moments they could all develop teeth and claws.
He leaned and spoke into his friend's ear. He menaced the
woods with a gesture. "If they keep on chasing us, by Gawd, they'd
better watch out. Can't stand TOO much."
The friend twisted his head and made a calm reply. "If they
keep on a-chasin' us they'll drive us all inteh th' river."
The youth cried out savagely at this statement. He crouched behind
a little tree, with his eyes burning hatefully and his teeth set in a curlike
snarl. The awkward bandage was still about his head, and upon it, over
his wound, there was a spot of dry blood. His hair was wondrously
tousled, and some straggling, moving locks hung over the cloth of the bandage
down toward his forehead. His jacket and shirt were open at the throat,
and exposed his young bronzed neck. There could be seen
spasmodic gulpings at his throat.
His fingers twined nervously about his rifle. He wished that
it was an engine of annihilating power. He felt that he and
his companions were being taunted and derided from sincere convictions
that they were poor and puny. His knowledge of his inability to take
vengeance for it made his rage into a dark and stormy specter, that possessed
him and made him dream of abominable cruelties. The tormentors were
flies sucking insolently at his blood, and he thought that he would have
given his life for a revenge of seeing their faces in pitiful plights.
The winds of battle had swept all about the regiment, until the one
rifle, instantly followed by others, flashed in its front. A moment later the
regiment roared forth its sudden and valiant retort. A dense wall of
smoke settled down. It was furiously slit and slashed by the knifelike
fire from the rifles.
To the youth the fighters resembled animals tossed for a death struggle
into a dark pit. There was a sensation that he and his fellows, at bay,
were pushing back, always pushing fierce onslaughts of creatures who were
slippery. Their beams of crimson seemed to get no purchase upon the
bodies of their foes; the latter seemed to evade them with ease, and come
through, between, around, and about with unopposed skill.
When, in a dream, it occurred to the youth that his rifle was an
impotent stick, he lost sense of everything but his hate, his desire to smash
into pulp the glittering smile of victory which he could feel upon the faces
of his enemies.
The blue smoke-swallowed line curled and writhed like a snake stepped
upon. It swung its ends to and fro in an agony of fear and rage.
The youth was not conscious that he was erect upon his feet. He did not
know the direction of the ground. Indeed, once he even lost the habit
of balance and fell heavily. He was up again immediately. One
thought went through the chaos of his brain at the time. He wondered if
he had fallen because he had been shot. But the suspicion flew away at
once. He did not think more of it.
He had taken up a first position behind the little tree, with a direct
determination to hold it against the world. He had not deemed it
possible that his army could that day succeed, and from this he felt the
ability to fight harder. But the throng had surged in all ways, until
he lost directions and locations, save that he knew where lay the
enemy.
The flames bit him, and the hot smoke broiled his skin. His
rifle barrel grew so hot that ordinarily he could not have borne it upon
his palms; but he kept on stuffing cartridges into it, and pounding them with
his clanking, bending ramrod. If he aimed at some changing form through
the smoke, he pulled the trigger with a fierce grunt, as if he were dealing a
blow of the fist with all his strength.
When the enemy seemed falling back before him and his fellows, he went
instantly forward, like a dog who, seeing his foes lagging, turns and insists
upon being pursued. And when he was compelled to retire again, he did
it slowly, sullenly, taking steps of wrathful despair.
Once he, in his intent hate, was almost alone, and was firing, when all
those near him had ceased. He was so engrossed in his occupation that
he was not aware of a lull.
He was recalled by a hoarse laugh and a sentence that came to his ears
in a voice of contempt and amazement. "Yeh infernal fool, don't yeh
know enough t' quit when there ain't anything t' shoot at? Good Gawd!"
He turned then and, pausing with his rifle thrown half into position,
looked at the blue line of his comrades. During this moment of leisure
they seemed all to be engaged in staring with astonishment at him. They
had become spectators. Turning to the front again he saw, under the
lifted smoke, a deserted ground.
He looked bewildered for a moment. Then there appeared upon
the glazed vacancy of his eyes a diamond point of intelligence. "Oh," he
said, comprehending.
He returned to his comrades and threw himself upon the ground. He
sprawled like a man who had been thrashed. His flesh seemed strangely
on fire, and the sounds of the battle continued in his ears. He groped
blindly for his canteen.
The lieutenant was crowing. He seemed drunk with fighting. He
called out to the youth: "By heavens, if I had ten thousand wild
cats like you I could tear th' stomach outa this war in less'n a week!" He
puffed out his chest with large dignity as he said it.
Some of the men muttered and looked at the youth in awestruck ways. It
was plain that as he had gone on loading and firing and cursing without
proper intermission, they had found time to regard him. And they now looked
upon him as a war devil.
The friend came staggering to him. There was some fright and
dismay in his voice. "Are yeh all right, Fleming? Do yeh feel all
right? There ain't nothin' th' matter with yeh, Henry, is there?"
"No," said the youth with difficulty. His throat seemed full
of knobs and burrs.
These incidents made the youth ponder. It was revealed to him that
he had been a barbarian, a beast. He had fought like a pagan who
defends his religion. Regarding it, he saw that it was fine, wild, and,
in some ways, easy. He had been a tremendous figure, no doubt. By
this struggle he had overcome obstacles which he had admitted to be
mountains. They had fallen like paper peaks, and he was now what he
called a hero. And he had not been aware of the process. He had
slept, and, awakening, found himself a knight.
He lay and basked in the occasional stares of his comrades. Their faces
were varied in degrees of blackness from the burned powder. Some were
utterly smudged. They were reeking with perspiration, and their breaths
came hard and wheezing. And from these soiled expanses they peered at
him.
"Hot work! Hot work!" cried the lieutenant deliriously. He walked
up and down, restless and eager. Sometimes his voice could be heard in
a wild, incomprehensible laugh.
When he had a particularly profound thought upon the science of war he
always unconsciously addressed himself to the youth.
There was some grim rejoicing by the men. "By thunder, I bet this
army'll never see another new reg'ment like us!"
"You bet!"
"A dog, a woman, an' a walnut tree Th' more yeh beat
'em, th' better they be!
That's like us."
"Lost a piler men, they did. If an ol' woman swep' up th'
woods she'd git a dustpanful."
"Yes, an' if she'll come around ag'in in 'bout an hour she'll get a pile
more."
The forest still bore its burden of clamor. From off under
the trees came the rolling clatter of the musketry. Each
distant thicket seemed a strange porcupine with quills of flame. A
cloud of dark smoke, as from smoldering ruins, went up toward the sun now
bright and gay in the blue, enameled sky.
Chapter 18
The ragged line had respite for some minutes, but during its pause the
struggle in the forest became magnified until the trees seemed to quiver from
the firing and the ground to shake from the rushing of men. The voices
of the cannon were mingled in a long and interminable row. It seemed
difficult to live in such an atmosphere. The chests of the men strained
for a bit of freshness, and their throats craved water.
There was one shot through the body, who raised a cry of
bitter lamentation when came this lull. Perhaps he had been calling
out during the fighting also, but at that time no one had heard him. But
now the men turned at the woeful complaints of him upon the ground.
"Who is it? Who is it?"
"Its Jimmie Rogers. Jimmie Rogers."
When their eyes first encountered him there was a sudden halt, as if
they feared to go near. He was thrashing about in the grass, twisting
his shuddering body into many strange postures. He was screaming
loudly. This instant's hesitation seemed to fill him with a tremendous,
fantastic contempt, and he damned them in shrieked sentences.
The youth's friend had a geographical illusion concerning a stream, and
he obtained permission to go for some water. Immediately canteens were
showered upon him. "Fill mine, will yeh?" "Bring me some,
too." "And me, too." He departed, ladened. The youth went with
his friend, feeling a desire to throw his heated body into the stream
and, soaking there, drink quarts.
They made a hurried search for the supposed stream, but did not find
it. "No water here," said the youth. They turned without delay and
began to retrace their steps.
From their position as they again faced toward the place of the
fighting, they could of comprehend a greater amount of the battle than when
their visions had been blurred by the hurling smoke of the line. They
could see dark stretches winding along the land, and on one cleared space
there was a row of guns making gray clouds, which were filled with large
flashes of orange-colored flame. Over some foliage they could see the
roof of a house. One window, glowing a deep murder red, shone squarely
through the leaves. From the edifice a tall leaning tower of smoke went far
into the sky.
Looking over their own troops, they saw mixed masses slowly getting into
regular form. The sunlight made twinkling points of the bright
steel. To the rear there was a glimpse of a distant roadway as it
curved over a slope. It was crowded with retreating infantry.
From all the interwoven forest arose the smoke and bluster of the
battle. The air was always occupied by a blaring.
Near where they stood shells were flip-flapping and hooting. Occasional
bullets buzzed in the air and spanged into tree trunks. Wounded men and other
stragglers were slinking through the woods.
Looking down an aisle of the grove, the youth and his companion saw a
jangling general and his staff almost ride upon a wounded man, who was
crawling on his hands and knees. The general reined strongly at his
charger's opened and foamy mouth and guided it with dexterous horsemanship
past the man. The latter scrambled in wild and torturing haste.
His strength evidently failed him as he reached a place of safety. One
of his arms suddenly weakened, and he fell, sliding over upon his back.
He lay stretched out, breathing gently.
A moment later the small, creaking cavalcade was directly in front of
the two soldiers. Another officer, riding with the skillful abandon of
a cowboy, galloped his horse to a position directly before the general.
The two unnoticed foot soldiers made a little show of going on, but they
lingered near in the desire to overhear the conversation. Perhaps, they
thought, some great inner historical things would be said.
The general, whom the boys knew as the commander of their
division, looked at the other officer and spoke coolly, as if he
were criticising his clothes. "Th' enemy's formin' over there for
another charge," he said. "It'll be directed against Whiterside, an' I
fear they'll break through unless we work like thunder t' stop them."
The other swore at his restive horse, and then cleared his throat. He
made a gesture toward his cap. "It'll be hell t' pay stoppin' them," he
said shortly.
"I presume so," remarked the general. Then he began to
talk rapidly and in a lower tone. He frequently illustrated his
words with a pointing finger. The two infantrymen could hear
nothing until finally he asked: "What troops can you spare?"
The officer who rode like a cowboy reflected for an instant. "Well," he
said, "I had to order in th' 12th to help th' 76th, an' I haven't really got
any. But there's th' 304th. They fight like a lot 'a mule
drivers. I can spare them best of any."
The youth and his friend exchanged glances of astonishment.
The general spoke sharply. "Get 'em ready, then. I'll
watch developments from here, an' send you word when t' start them. It'll
happen in five minutes."
As the other officer tossed his fingers toward his cap and wheeling his
horse, started away, the general called out to him in a sober voice: "I
don't believe many of your mule drivers will get back."
The other shouted something in reply. He smiled.
With scared faces, the youth and his companion hurried back to the
line.
These happenings had occupied an incredibly short time, yet the youth
felt that in them he had been made aged. New eyes were given to
him. And the most startling thing was to learn suddenly that he was
very insignificant. The officer spoke of the regiment as if he referred
to a broom. Some part of the woods needed sweeping, perhaps, and he
merely indicated a broom in a tone properly indifferent to its fate. It
was war, no doubt, but it appeared strange.
As the two boys approached the line, the lieutenant perceived them and
swelled with wrath. "Fleming--Wilson--how long does it take yeh to git
water, anyhow--where yeh been to."
But his oration ceased as he saw their eyes, which were large with great
tales. "We're goin' t' charge--we're goin' t' charge!" cried the
youth's friend, hastening with his news.
"Charge?" said the lieutenant. "Charge? Well, b'Gawd!
Now, this is real fightin'." Over his soiled countenance there went
a boastful smile. "Charge? Well, b'Gawd!"
A little group of soldiers surrounded the two youths. "Are
we, sure 'nough? Well, I'll be derned! Charge? What
fer? What at? Wilson, you're lyin'."
"I hope to die," said the youth, pitching his tones to the key of angry
remonstrance. "Sure as shooting, I tell you."
And his friend spoke in re-enforcement. "Not by a blame sight, he
ain't lyin'. We heard 'em talkin'."
They caught sight of two mounted figures a short distance from them. One
was the colonel of the regiment and the other was the officer who had
received orders from the commander of the division. They were gesticulating
at each other. The soldier, pointing at them, interpreted the
scene.
One man had a final objection: "How could yeh hear 'em
talkin'?" But the men, for a large part, nodded, admitting that
previously the two friends had spoken truth.
They settled back into reposeful attitudes with airs of having accepted
the matter. And they mused upon it, with a hundred varieties of
expression. It was an engrossing thing to think about. Many tightened
their belts carefully and hitched at their trousers.
A moment later the officers began to bustle among the men, pushing them
into a more compact mass and into a better alignment. They chased those
that straggled and fumed at a few men who seemed to show by their attitudes
that they had decided to remain at that spot. They were like critical
shepherds, struggling with sheep.
Presently, the regiment seemed to draw itself up and heave a deep
breath. None of the men's faces were mirrors of large thoughts. The
soldiers were bended and stooped like sprinters before a signal. Many
pairs of glinting eyes peered from the grimy faces toward the curtains of
the deeper woods. They seemed to be engaged in deep calculations
of time and distance.
They were surrounded by the noises of the monstrous altercation
between the two armies. The world was fully interested in other
matters. Apparently, the regiment had its small affair to itself.
The youth, turning, shot a quick, inquiring glance at his friend. The
latter returned to him the same manner of look. They were the only ones
who possessed an inner knowledge. "Mule drivers-- hell t' pay--don't
believe many will get back." It was an ironical secret. Still,
they saw no hesitation in each other's faces, and they nodded a mute and
unprotesting assent when a shaggy man near them said in a meek voice:
"We'll git swallowed."
Chapter 19
The youth stared at the land in front of him. Its foliages
now seemed to veil powers and horrors. He was unaware of
the machinery of orders that started the charge, although from the corners
of his eyes he saw an officer, who looked like a boy a-horseback, come
galloping, waving his hat. Suddenly he felt a straining and heaving
among the men. The line fell slowly forward like a toppling wall, and,
with a convulsive gasp that was intended for a cheer, the regiment began its
journey. The youth was pushed and jostled for a moment before he
understood the movement at all, but directly he lunged ahead and began to
run.
He fixed his eye upon a distant and prominent clump of trees where he
had concluded the enemy were to be met, and he ran toward it as toward a
goal. He had believe throughout that it was a mere question of getting
over an unpleasant matter as quickly as possible, and he ran desperately, as
if pursued for a murder. His face was drawn hard and tight with the stress of
his endeavor. His eyes were fixed in a lurid glare. And with his soiled
and disordered dress, his red and inflamed features surmounted by
the dingy rag with its spot of blood, his wildly swinging rifle, and
banging accouterments, he looked to be an insane soldier.
As the regiment swung from its position out into a cleared space
the woods and thickets before it awakened. Yellow flames leaped
toward it from many directions. The forest made a tremendous
objection.
The line lurched straight for a moment. Then the right wing swung
forward; it in turn was surpassed by the left. Afterward the center
careered to the front until the regiment was a wedge-shaped mass, but an
instant later the opposition of the bushes, trees, and uneven places on the
ground split the command and scattered it into detached clusters.
The youth, light-footed, was unconsciously in advance. His
eyes still kept note of the clump of trees. From all places near
it the clannish yell of the enemy could be heard. The little
flames of rifles leaped from it. The song of the bullets was in the
air and shells snarled among the treetops. One tumbled directly
into the middle of a hurrying group and exploded in crimson fury. There
was an instant spectacle of a man, almost over it, throwing up his hands to
shield his eyes.
Other men, punched by bullets, fell in grotesque agonies. The regiment
left a coherent trail of bodies.
They had passed into a clearer atmosphere. There was an effect
like a revelation in the new appearance of the landscape. Some men working
madly at a battery were plain to them, and the opposing infantry's lines were
defined by the gray walls and fringes of smoke.
It seemed to the youth that he saw everything. Each blade of the
green grass was bold and clear. He thought that he was aware of every
change in the thin, transparent vapor that floated idly in sheets. The
brown or gray trunks of the trees showed each roughness of their
surfaces. And the men of the regiment, with their starting eyes and
sweating faces, running madly, or falling, as if thrown headlong, to queer,
heaped-up corpses-- all were comprehended. His mind took a mechanical
but firm impression, so that afterward everything was pictured
and explained to him, save why he himself was there.
But there was a frenzy made from this furious rush. The
men, pitching forward insanely, had burst into cheerings, moblike
and barbaric, but tuned in strange keys that can arouse the dullard and
the stoic. It made a mad enthusiasm that, it seemed, would be incapable
of checking itself before granite and brass. There was the delirium
that encounters despair and death, and is heedless and blind to the
odds. It is a temporary but sublime absence of selfishness. And
because it was of this order was the reason, perhaps, why the youth wondered,
afterward, what reasons he could have had for being there.
Presently the straining pace ate up the energies of the men. As if by
agreement, the leaders began to slacken their speed. The volleys directed
against them had had a seeming windlike effect. The regiment snorted and
blew. Among some stolid trees it began to falter and hesitate.
The men, staring intently, began to wait for some of the distant walls fo
smoke to move and disclose to them the scene. Since much of their
strength and their breath had vanished, they returned to caution. They
were become men again.
The youth had a vague belief that he had run miles, and he thought, in a
way, that he was now in some new and unknown land.
The moment the regiment ceased its advance the protesting splutter of
musketry became a steadied roar. Long and accurate fringes of smoke
spread out. From the top of a small hill came level belchings of yellow
flame that caused an inhuman whistling in the air.
The men, halted, had opportunity to see some of their comrades dropping
with moans and shrieks. A few lay under foot, still or wailing.
And now for an instant the men stood, their rifles slack in their hands, and
watched the regiment dwindle. They appeared dazed and stupid. This
spectacle seemed to paralyze them, overcome them with a fatal
fascination. They stared woodenly at the sights, and, lowering their
eyes, looked from face to face. It was a strange pause, and a strange
silence.
Then, above the sounds of the outside commotion, arose the roar of the
lieutenant. He strode suddenly forth, his infantile features black with
rage.
"Come on, yeh fools!" he bellowed. "Come on! Yeh can't stay
here. Yeh must come on." He said more, but much of it could not be
understood.
He started rapidly forward, with his head turned toward the men, "Come
on," he was shouting. The men stared with blank and yokel-like eyes at
him. He was obliged to halt and retrace his steps. He stood then with
his back to the enemy and delivered gigantic curses into the faces of the
men. His body vibrated from the weight and force of his
imprecations. And he could string oaths with the facility of a maiden
who strings beads.
The friend of the youth aroused. Lurching suddenly forward
and dropping to his knees, he fired an angry shot at the persistent
woods. This action awakened the men. They huddled no more like
sheep. They seemed suddenly to bethink themselves of their weapons, and at
once commenced firing. Belabored by their officers, they began to move
forward. The regiment, involved like a cart involved in mud and muddle,
started unevenly with many jolts and jerks. The men stopped now every
few paces to fire and load, and in this manner moved slowly on from trees to
trees.
The flaming opposition in their front grew with their advance until it
seemed that all forward ways were barred by the thin leaping tongues, and off
to the right an ominous demonstration could sometimes be dimly
discerned. The smoke lately generated was in confusing clouds that made
it difficult for the regiment to proceed with intelligence. As he
passed through each curling mass the youth wondered what would confront him
on the farther side.
The command went painfully forward until an open space
interposed between them and the lurid lines. Here, crouching and
cowering behind some trees, the men clung with desperation, as if
threatened by a wave. They looked wild-eyed, and as if amazed at this
furious disturbance they had stirred. In the storm there was an
ironical expression of their importance. The faces of the men, too,
showed a lack of a certain feeling of responsibility for being there. It
was as if they had been driven. It was the dominant animal failing to
remember in the supreme moments the forceful causes of various superficial
qualities. The whole affair seemed incomprehensible to many of
them.
As they halted thus the lieutenant again began to bellow
profanely. Regardless of the vindictive threats of the bullets, he went
about coaxing, berating, and bedamning. His lips, that were
habitually in a soft and childlike curve, were now writhed into unholy
contortions. He swore by all possible deities.
Once he grabbed the youth by the arm. "Come on, yeh lunkhead!" he
roared. "Come one! We'll all git killed if we stay here. We've
on'y got t' go across that lot. An' then"--the remainder of his idea
disappeared in a blue haze of curses.
The youth stretched forth his arm. "Cross there?" His mouth
was puckered in doubt and awe.
"Certainly. Jest 'cross th' lot! We can't stay here,"
screamed the lieutenant. He poked his face close to the youth and
waved his bandaged hand. "Come on!" Presently he grappled with
him as if for a wrestling bout. It was as if he planned to drag
the youth by the ear on to the assault.
The private felt a sudden unspeakable indignation against his
officer. He wrenched fiercely and shook him off.
"Come on yerself, then," he yelled. There was a bitter
challenge in his voice.
They galloped together down the regimental front. The
friend scrambled after them. In front of the colors the three
men began to bawl: "Come on! come on!" They danced and
gyrated like tortured savages.
The flag, obedient to these appeals, bended its glittering form and
swept toward them. The men wavered in indecision for a moment, and then
with a long, wailful cry the dilapidated regiment surged forward and began
its new journey.
Over the field went the scurrying mass. It was a handful of
men splattered into the faces of the enemy. Toward it
instantly sprang the yellow tongues. A vast quantity of blue smoke
hung before them. A mighty banging made ears valueless.
The youth ran like a madman to reach the woods before a bullet could
discover him. He ducked his head low, like a football player. In his
haste his eyes almost closed, and the scene was a wild blur. Pulsating saliva
stood at the corners of his mouth.
Within him, as he hurled himself forward, was born a love, a despairing
fondness for this flag which was near him. It was a creation of beauty
and invulnerability. It was a goddess, radiant, that bended its form
with an imperious gesture to him. It was a woman, red and white, hating and
loving, that called him with the voice of his hopes. Because no harm
could come to it he endowed it with power. He kept near, as if it could
be a saver of lives, and an imploring cry went from his mind.
In the mad scramble he was aware that the color sergeant flinched
suddenly, as if struck by a bludgeon. He faltered, and then became
motionless, save for his quivering knees. He made a spring and a clutch at
the pole. At the same instant his friend grabbed it from the other
side. They jerked at it, stout and furious, but the color sergeant was
dead, and the corpse would not relinquish its trust. For a moment there
was a grim encounter. The dead man, swinging with bended
back, seemed to be obstinately tugging, in ludicrous and awful ways, for
the possession of the flag.
It was past in an instant of time. They wrenched the
flag furiously from the dead man, and, as they turned again, the corpse
swayed forward with bowed head. One arm swung high, and the curved hand
fell with heavy protest on the friend's unheeding shoulder.
Chapter 20
When the two youths turned with the flag they saw that much of the
regiment had crumbled away, and the dejected remnant was coming slowly
back. The men, having hurled themselves in projectile fashion, had
presently expended their forces. They slowly retreated, with their faces
still toward the spluttering woods, and their hot rifles still replying to
the din. Several officers were giving orders, their voices keyed to
screams.
"Where in hell yeh goin'?" the lieutenant was asking in a sarcastic
howl. And a red-bearded officer, whose voice of triple brass could
plainly be heard, was commanding: "Shoot into 'em! Shoot into 'em, Gawd
damn their souls!" There was a melee of screeches, in which the men
were ordered to do conflicting and impossible things.
The youth and his friend had a small scuffle over the flag. "Give it t'
me!" "No, let me keep it!" Each felt satisfied with the other's
possession of it, but each felt bound to declare, by an offer to carry the
emblem, his willingness to further risk himself. The youth roughly
pushed his friend away.
The regiment fell back to the stolid trees. There it halted for a
moment to blaze at some dark forms that had begun to steal upon its
track. Presently it resumed its march again, curving among the tree
trunks. By the time the depleted regiment had again reached the first
open space they were receiving a fast and merciless fire. There seemed
to be mobs all about them.
The greater part of the men, discouraged, their spirits worn by the
turmoil, acted as if stunned. They accepted the pelting of the bullets
with bowed and weary heads. It was of no purpose to strive against
walls. It was of no use to batter themselves against granite. And
from this consciousness that they had attempted to conquer an unconquerable
thing there seemed to arise a feeling that they had been betrayed. They
glowered with bent brows, but dangerously, upon some of the officers, more
particularly upon the red-bearded one with the voice of triple brass.
However, the rear of the regiment was fringed with men, who continued to
shoot irritably at the advancing foes. They seemed resolved to make
every trouble. The youthful lieutenant was perhaps the last man in the
disordered mass. His forgotten back was toward the enemy. He had
been shot in the arm. It hung straight and rigid. Occasionally he
would cease to remember it, and be about to emphasize an oath with a sweeping
gesture. The multiplied pain caused him to swear with incredible power.
The youth went along with slipping uncertain feet. He
kept watchful eyes rearward. A scowl of mortification and rage
was upon his face. He had thought of a fine revenge upon the
officer who had referred to him and his fellows as mule drivers. But he
saw that it could not come to pass. His dreams had collapsed when the
mule drivers, dwindling rapidly, had wavered and hesitated on the little
clearing, and then had recoiled. And now the retreat of the mule drivers was
a march of shame to him.
A dagger-pointed gaze from without his blackened face was held toward
the enemy, but his greater hatred was riveted upon the man, who, not knowing
him, had called him a mule driver.
When he knew that he and his comrades had failed to do anything in
successful ways that might bring the little pangs of a kind of remorse upon
the officer, the youth allowed the rage of the baffled to possess him.
This cold officer upon a monument, who dropped epithets unconcernedly down,
would be finer as a dead man, he thought. So grievous did he think it
that he could never possess the secret right to taunt truly in answer.
He had pictured red letters of curious revenge. "We ARE
mule drivers, are we?" And now he was compelled to throw them
away.
He presently wrapped his heart in the cloak of his pride and kept the
flag erect. He harangued his fellows, pushing against their chests with
his free hand. To those he knew well he made frantic appeals,
beseeching them by name. Between him and the lieutenant, scolding and
near to losing his mind with rage, there was felt a subtle fellowship and
equality. They supported each other in all manner of hoarse, howling
protests.
But the regiment was a machine run down. The two men babbled at a
forceless thing. The soldiers who had heart to go slowly
were continually shaken in their resolves by a knowledge that
comrades were slipping with speed back to the lines. It was
difficult to think of reputation when others were thinking of
skins. Wounded men were left crying on this black journey.
The smoke fringes and flames blustered always. The youth, peering
once through a sudden rift in a cloud, saw a brown mass of troops, interwoven
and magnified until they appeared to be thousands. A fierce-hued flag
flashed before his vision.
Immediately, as if the uplifting of the smoke had been prearranged, the
discovered troops burst into a rasping yell, and a hundred flames jetted
toward the retreating band. A rolling gray cloud again interposed as
the regiment doggedly replied. The youth had to depend again upon his misused
ears, which were trembling and buzzing from the melee of musketry and
yells.
The way seemed eternal. In the clouded haze men
became panic-stricken with the thought that the regiment had lost its
path, and was proceeding in a perilous direction. Once the men who headed the
wild procession turned and came pushing back against their comrades,
screaming that they were being fired upon from points which they had
considered to be toward their own lines. At this cry a hysterical fear and
dismay beset the troops. A soldier, who heretofore had been ambitious to make
the regiment into a wise little band that would proceed calmly amid the
huge-appearing difficulties, suddenly sank down and buried his face in his
arms with an air of bowing to a doom. From another a shrill lamentation rang
out filled with profane allusions to a general. Men ran hither and
thither, seeking with their eyes roads of escape. With serene
regularity, as if controlled by a schedule, bullets buffed into men.
The youth walked stolidly into the midst of the mob, and with his flag
in his hands took a stand as if he expected an attempt to push him to the
ground. He unconsciously assumed the attitude of the color bearer in
the fight of the preceding day. He passed over his brow a hand that
trembled. His breath did not come freely. He was choking during
this small wait for the crisis.
His friend came to him. "Well, Henry, I guess this is
good-by-John."
"Oh, shut up, you damned fool!" replied the youth, and he would not look
at the other.
The officers labored like politicians to beat the mass into a proper
circle to face the menaces. The ground was uneven and torn. The men
curled into depressions and fitted themselves snugly behind whatever would
frustrate a bullet. The youth noted with vague surprise that the
lieutenant was standing mutely with his legs far apart and his sword held in
the manner of a cane. The youth wondered what had happened to his vocal
organs that he no more cursed.
There was something curious in this little intent pause of
the lieutenant. He was like a babe which, having wept its
fill, raises its eyes and fixes upon a distant toy. He was
engrossed in this contemplation, and the soft under lip quivered
from self-whispered words.
Some lazy and ignorant smoke curled slowly. The men, hiding
from the bullets, waited anxiously for it to lift and disclose the plight
of the regiment.
The silent ranks were suddenly thrilled by the eager voice of
the youthful lieutenant bawling out: "Here they come! Right onto
us, b'Gawd!" His further words were lost in a roar of wicked
thunder from the men's rifles.
The youth's eyes had instantly turned in the direction indicated by the
awakened and agitated lieutenant, and he had seen the haze of treachery
disclosing a body of soldiers of the enemy. They were so near that he could
see their features. There was a recognition as he looked at the types
of faces. Also he perceived with dim amazement that their uniforms were
rather gay in effect, being light gray, accented with a
brilliant-hued facing. Too, the clothes seemed new.
These troops had apparently been going forward with caution, their
rifles held in readiness, when the youthful lieutenant had discovered them
and their movement had been interrupted by the volley from the blue
regiment. From the moment's glimpse, it was derived that they had been
unaware of the proximity of their dark-suited foes or had mistaken the
direction. Almost instantly they were shut utterly from the youth's
sight by the smoke from the energetic rifles of his companions. He
strained his vision to learn the accomplishment of the volley, but the smoke
hung before him.
The two bodies of troops exchanged blows in the manner of a pair of
boxers. The fast angry firings went back and forth. The men in
blue were intent with the despair of their circumstances and they seized upon
the revenge to be had at close range. Their thunder swelled loud and
valiant. Their curving front bristled with flashes and the place
resounded with the clangor of their ramrods. The youth ducked and
dodged for a time and achieved a few unsatisfactory views of the enemy.
There appeared to be many of them and they were replying swiftly. They
seemed moving toward the blue regiment, step by step. He seated
himself gloomily on the ground with his flag between his knees.
As he noted the vicious, wolflike temper of his comrades he had a sweet
thought that if the enemy was about to swallow the regimental broom as a
large prisoner, it could at least have the consolation of going down with
bristles forward.
But the blows of the antagonist began to grow more weak. Fewer bullets
ripped the air, and finally, when the men slackened to learn of the fight,
they could see only dark, floating smoke. The regiment lay still and
gazed. Presently some chance whim came to the pestering blur, and it
began to coil heavily away. The men saw a ground vacant of fighters. It
would have been an empty stage if it were not for a few corpses that lay
thrown and twisted into fantastic shapes upon the sward.
At sight of this tableau, many of the men in blue sprang from behind
their covers and made an ungainly dance of joy. Their eyes burned and a
hoarse cheer of elation broke from their dry lips.
It had begun to seem to them that events were trying to prove that they
were impotent. These little battles had evidently endeavored to
demonstrate that the men could not fight well. When on the verge of
submission to these opinions, the small duel had showed them that the
proportions were not impossible, and by it they had revenged themselves upon
their misgivings and upon the foe.
The impetus of enthusiasm was theirs again. They gazed about them
with looks of uplifted pride, feeling new trust in the grim, always confident
weapons in their hands. And they were men.
Chapter 21
Presently they knew that no firing threatened them. All
ways seemed once more opened to them. The dusty blue lines of
their friends were disclosed a short distance away. In the
distance there were many colossal noises, but in all this part of
the field there was a sudden stillness.
They perceived that they were free. The depleted band drew a
long breath of relief and gathered itself into a bunch to complete its
trip.
In this last length of journey the men began to show
strange emotions. They hurried with nervous fear. Some who had
been dark and unfaltering in the grimmest moments now could not conceal an
anxiety that made them frantic. It was perhaps that they dreaded to be
killed in insignificant ways after the times for proper military deaths had
passed. Or, perhaps, they thought it would be too ironical to get
killed at the portals of safety. With backward looks of perturbation, they
hastened.
As they approached their own lines there was some sarcasm exhibited on
the part of a gaunt and bronzed regiment that lay resting in the shade of the
trees. Questions were wafted to them.
"Where th' hell yeh been?"
"What yeh comin' back fer?"
"Why didn't yeh stay there?"
"Was it warm out there, sonny?"
"Goin' home now, boys?"
One shouted in taunting mimicry: "Oh, mother, come quick an' look
at th' sojers!"
There was no reply from the bruised and battered regiment, save that one
man made broadcast challenges to fist fights and the red-bearded officer
walked rather near and glared in great swashbuckler style at a tall captain
in the other regiment. But the lieutenant suppressed the man who wished to
fist fight, and the tall captain, flushing at the little fanfare of
the red-bearded one, was obliged to look intently at some trees.
The youth's tender flesh was deeply stung by these remarks. From under
his creased brows he glowered with hate at the mockers. He meditated upon a
few revenges. Still, many in the regiment hung their heads in criminal
fashion, so that it came to pass that the men trudged with sudden heaviness,
as if they bore upon their bended shoulders the coffin of their honor. And
the youthful lieutenant, recollecting himself, began to mutter softly in
black curses.
They turned when they arrived at their old position to regard the ground
over which they had charged.
The youth in this contemplation was smitten with a large
astonishment. He discovered that the distances, as compared with the
brilliant measurings of his mind, were trivial and ridiculous. The
stolid trees, where much had taken place, seemed incredibly near. The
time, too, now that he reflected, he saw to have been short. He
wondered at the number of emotions and events that had been crowded
into such little spaces. Elfin thoughts must have exaggerated
and enlarged everything, he said.
It seemed, then, that there was bitter justice in the speeches of the
gaunt and bronzed veterans. He veiled a glance of disdain at his
fellows who strewed the ground, choking with dust, red from perspiration,
misty-eyed, disheveled.
They were gulping at their canteens, fierce to wring every mite of water
from them, and they polished at their swollen and watery features with coat
sleeves and bunches of grass.
However, to the youth there was a considerable joy in musing upon his
performances during the charge. He had had very little time previously
in which to appreciate himself, so that there was now much satisfaction in
quietly thinking of his actions. He recalled bits of color that in the flurry
had stamped themselves unawares upon his engaged senses.
As the regiment lay heaving from its hot exertions the officer who had
named them as mule drivers came galloping along the line. He had lost his
cap. His tousled hair streamed wildly, and his face was dark with
vexation and wrath. His temper was displayed with more clearness by the
way in which he managed his horse. He jerked and wrenched savagely at
his bridle, stopping the hard-breathing animal with a furious pull near the
colonel of the regiment. He immediately exploded in reproaches which
came unbidden to the ears of the men. They were suddenly
alert, being always curious about black words between officers.
"Oh, thunder, MacChesnay, what an awful bull you made of this
thing!" began the officer. He attempted low tones, but his
indignation caused certain of the men to learn the sense of his
words. "What an awful mess you made! Good Lord, man, you
stopped about a hundred feet this side of a very pretty success! If
your men had gone a hundred feet farther you would have made a
great charge, but as it is--what a lot of mud diggers you've got
anyway!"
The men, listening with bated breath, now turned their curious eyes upon
the colonel. They had a had a ragamuffin interest in this affair.
The colonel was seen to straighten his form and put one hand forth in
oratorical fashion. He wore an injured air; it was as if a deacon had
been accused of stealing. The men were wiggling in an ecstasy of
excitement.
But of a sudden the colonel's manner changed from that of a deacon to
that of a Frenchman. He shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, well, general, we
went as far as we could," he said calmly.
"As far as you could? Did you, b'Gawd?" snorted the other. "Well,
that wasn't very far, was it?" he added, with a glance of cold contempt into
the other's eyes. "Not very far, I think. You were intended to make a
diversion in favor of Whiterside. How well you succeeded your own ears can
now tell you." He wheeled his horse and rode stiffly away.
The colonel, bidden to hear the jarring noises of an engagement in the
woods to the left, broke out in vague damnations.
The lieutenant, who had listened with an air of impotent rage to the
interview, spoke suddenly in firm and undaunted tones. "I don't care what a
man is--whether he is a general or what-- if he says th' boys didn't put up a
good fight out there he's a damned fool."
"Lieutenant," began the colonel, severely, "this is my own affair, and
I'll trouble you--"
The lieutenant made an obedient gesture. "All right, colonel, all
right," he said. He sat down with an air of being content with
himself.
The news that the regiment had been reproached went along the line. For
a time the men were bewildered by it. "Good thunder!" they ejaculated,
staring at the vanishing form of the general. They conceived it to be a huge
mistake.
Presently, however, they began to believe that in truth their efforts
had been called light. The youth could see this conviction weight upon
the entire regiment until the men were like cuffed and cursed animals, but
withal rebellious.
The friend, with a grievance in his eye, went to the youth. I wonder
what he does want," he said. "He must think we went out there an'
played marbles! I never see sech a man!"
The youth developed a tranquil philosophy for these moments
of irritation. "Oh, well," he rejoined, "he probably didn't
see nothing of it at all and god mad as blazes, and concluded we were a
lot of sheep, just because we didn't do what he wanted done. It's a pity old
Grandpa Henderson got killed yestirday--he'd have known that we did our best
and fought good. It's just our awful luck, that's what."
"I should say so," replied the friend. He seemed to be
deeply wounded at an injustice. "I should say we did have awful
luck! There's no fun in fightin' fer people when everything yeh do-- no
matter what--ain't done right. I have a notion t' stay behind next time
an' let 'em take their ol' charge an' go t' th' devil with it."
The youth spoke soothingly to his comrade. "Well, we both did
good. I'd like to see the fool what'd say we both didn't do as good as we
could!"
"Of course we did," declared the friend stoutly. "An' I'd
break th' feller's neck if he was as big as a church. But we're all
right, anyhow, for I heard one feller say that we two fit th' best in th'
reg'ment, an' they had a great argument 'bout it. Another feller, 'a
course, he had t' up an' say it was a lie--he seen all what was goin' on an'
he never seen us from th' beginnin' t' th' end. An' a lot more stuck in
an' ses it wasn't a lie--we did fight like thunder, an' they give us quite a
sendoff. But this is what I can't stand-- these everlastin' ol'
soldiers, titterin' an' laughin', an then that general, he's crazy."
The youth exclaimed with sudden exasperation: "He's a lunkhead! He
makes me mad. I wish he'd come along next time. We'd show 'im
what--"
He ceased because several men had come hurrying up. Their
faces expressed a bringing of great news.
"O Flem, yeh jest oughta heard!" cried one, eagerly.
"Heard what?" said the youth.
"Yeh jest oughta heard!" repeated the other, and he arranged himself to
tell his tidings. The others made an excited circle. "Well, sir, th'
colonel met your lieutenant right by us--it was damnedest thing I ever
heard--an' he ses: 'Ahem! ahem!' he ses. 'Mr. Hasbrouck!' he ses,
'by th' way, who was that lad what carried th' flag?' he ses. There,
Flemin', what d' yeh think 'a that? 'Who was th' lad what carried th' flag?'
he ses, an' th' lieutenant, he speaks up right away: 'That's Flemin',
an' he's a jimhickey,' he ses, right away. What? I say he
did. 'A jimhickey,' he ses--those 'r his words. He did, too. I
say he did. If you kin tell this story better than I kin, go ahead
an' tell it. Well, then, keep yer mouth shet. Th' lieutenant, he
ses: 'He's a jimhickey,' and th' colonel, he ses: 'Ahem! ahem! he
is, indeed, a very good man t' have, ahem! He kep' th' flag 'way
t' th' front. I saw 'im. He's a good un,' ses th'
colonel. 'You bet,' ses th' lieutenant, 'he an' a feller named Wilson
was at th' head 'a th' charge, an' howlin' like Indians all th' time,' he
ses. 'Head 'a th' charge all th' time,' he ses. 'A feller named
Wilson,' he ses. There, Wilson, m'boy, put that in a letter an' send it
hum t' yer mother, hay? 'A feller named Wilson,' he ses. An' th'
colonel, he ses: 'Were they, indeed? Ahem! ahem! My
sakes!' he ses. 'At th' head 'a th' reg'ment?' he ses. 'They
were,' ses th' lieutenant. 'My sakes!' ses th' colonel. He
ses: 'Well, well, well,' he ses. 'They deserve t' be
major-generals.'"
The youth and his friend had said: "Huh!" "Yer lyin'
Thompson." "Oh, go t' blazes!" "He never sed it." "Oh, what a
lie!" "Huh!" But despite these youthful scoffings and embarrassments,
they knew that their faces were deeply flushing from thrills of
pleasure. They exchanged a secret glance of joy and congratulation.
They speedily forgot many things. The past held no pictures of
error and disappointment. They were very happy, and their hearts
swelled with grateful affection for the colonel and the youthful
lieutenant.
Chapter 22
When the woods again began to pour forth the dark-hued masses of the
enemy the youth felt serene self-confidence. He smiled briefly when he
saw men dodge and duck at the long screechings of shells that were thrown in
giant handfuls over them. He stood, erect and tranquil, watching the
attack begin against apart of the line that made a blue curve along the side
of an adjacent hill. His vision being unmolested by smoke from
the rifles of his companions, he had opportunities to see parts of the
hard fight. It was a relief to perceive at last from whence came some
of these noises which had been roared into his ears.
Off a short way he saw two regiments fighting a little separate battle
with two other regiments. It was in a cleared space, wearing a
set-apart look. They were blazing as if upon a wager, giving and taking
tremendous blows. The firings were incredibly fierce and rapid.
These intent regiments apparently were oblivious of all larger purposes of
war, and were slugging each other as if at a matched game.
In another direction he saw a magnificent brigade going with the evident
intention of driving the enemy from a wood. They passed in out of sight
and presently there was a most awe-inspiring racket in the wood. The
noise was unspeakable. Having stirred this prodigious uproar, and,
apparently, finding it too prodigious, the brigade, after a little time, came
marching airily out again with its fine formation in nowise disturbed.
There were no traces of speed in its movements. The brigade was jaunty
and seemed to point a proud thumb at the yelling wood.
On a slope to the left there was a long row of guns, gruff and maddened,
denouncing the enemy, who, down through the woods, were forming for another
attack in the pitiless monotony of conflicts. The round red discharges from
the guns made a crimson flare and a high, thick smoke. Occasional
glimpses could be caught of groups of the toiling artillerymen. In the
rear of this row of guns stood a house, calm and white, amid bursting
shells. A congregation of horses, tied to a long railing, were tugging
frenziedly at their bridles. Men were running hither and thither.
The detached battle between the four regiments lasted for some
time. There chanced to be no interference, and they settled their
dispute by themselves. They struck savagely and powerfully at each
other for a period of minutes, and then the lighter-hued regiments
faltered and drew back, leaving the dark-blue lines shouting. The youth
could see the two flags shaking with laughter amid the smoke remnants.
Presently there was a stillness, pregnant with meaning. The
blue lines shifted and changed a trifle and stared expectantly at
the silent woods and fields before them. The hush was solemn
and churchlike, save for a distant battery that, evidently unable to
remain quiet, sent a faint rolling thunder over the ground. It irritated,
like the noises of unimpressed boys. The men imagined that it would
prevent their perched ears from hearing the first words of the new
battle.
Of a sudden the guns on the slope roared out a message of warning.
A spluttering sound had begun in the woods. It swelled with amazing
speed to a profound clamor that involved the earth in noises. The
splitting crashes swept along the lines until an interminable roar was
developed. To those in the midst of it it became a din fitted to the
universe. It was the whirring and thumping of gigantic machinery,
complications among the smaller stars. The youth's ears were filled
cups. They were incapable of hearing more.
On an incline over which a road wound he saw wild and desperate rushes
of men perpetually backward and forward in riotous surges. These parts of the
opposing armies were two long waves that pitched upon each other madly at
dictated points. To and fro they swelled. Sometimes, one side by
its yells and cheers would proclaim decisive blows, but a moment later the
other side would be all yells and cheers. Once the youth saw a spray
of light forms go in houndlike leaps toward the waving blue lines. There
was much howling, and presently it went away with a vast mouthful of
prisoners. Again, he saw a blue wave dash with such thunderous force
against a gray obstruction that it seemed to clear the earth of it and leave
nothing but trampled sod. And always in their swift and deadly rushes to and
fro the men screamed and yelled like maniacs.
Particular pieces of fence or secure positions behind collections of
trees were wrangled over, as gold thrones or pearl bedsteads. There were
desperate lunges at these chosen spots seemingly every instant, and most of
them were bandied like light toys between the contending forces. The
youth could not tell from the battle flags flying like crimson foam in many
directions which color of cloth was winning.
His emaciated regiment bustled forth with undiminished fierceness when
its time came. When assaulted again by bullets, the men burst out in a
barbaric cry of rage and pain. They bent their heads in aims of intent
hatred behind the projected hammers of their guns. Their ramrods
clanged loud with fury as their eager arms pounded the cartridges into the
rifle barrels. The front of the regiment was a smoke-wall penetrated by
the flashing points of yellow and red.
Wallowing in the fight, they were in an astonishingly short time
resmudged. They surpassed in stain and dirt all their previous
appearances. Moving to and fro with strained exertion, jabbering all
the while, they were, with their swaying bodies, black faces, and glowing
eyes, like strange and ugly fiends jigging heavily in the smoke.
The lieutenant, returning from a tour after a bandage, produced from a
hidden receptacle of his mind new and portentous oaths suited to the
emergency. Strings of expletives he swung lashlike over the backs of
his men, and it was evident that his previous efforts had in nowise impaired
his resources.
The youth, still the bearer of the colors, did not feel his idleness. He
was deeply absorbed as a spectator. The crash and swing of the great
drama made him lean forward, intent-eyed, his face working in small
contortions. Sometimes he prattled, words coming unconsciously from him
in grotesque exclamations. He did not know that he breathed; that the
flag hung silently over him, so absorbed was he.
A formidable line of the enemy came within dangerous range. They could
be seen plainly--tall, gaunt men with excited faces running with long strides
toward a wandering fence.
At sight of this danger the men suddenly ceased their
cursing monotone. There was an instant of strained silence before
they threw up their rifles and fired a plumping volley at the foes. There
had been no order given; the men, upon recognizing the menace, had
immediately let drive their flock of bullets without waiting for word of
command.
But the enemy were quick to gain the protection of the wandering line of
fence. They slid down behind it with remarkable celerity, and from this
position they began briskly to slice up the blue men.
These latter braced their energies for a great struggle. Often, white
clinched teeth shone from the dusky faces. Many heads surged to and fro,
floating upon a pale sea of smoke. Those behind the fence frequently shouted
and yelped in taunts and gibelike cries, but the regiment maintained a
stressed silence. Perhaps, at this new assault the men recalled the fact that
they had been named mud diggers, and it made their situation thrice
bitter. They were breathlessly intent upon keeping the ground and
thrusting away the rejoicing body of the enemy. They fought swiftly and
with a despairing savageness denoted in their expressions.
The youth had resolved not to budge whatever should happen. Some arrows
of scorn that had buried themselves in his heart had generated strange and
unspeakable hatred. It was clear to him that his final and absolute
revenge was to be achieved by his dead body lying, torn and gluttering, upon
the field. This was to be a poignant retaliation upon the officer who
had said "mule drivers," and later "mud diggers," for in all the
wild graspings of his mind for a unit responsible for his sufferings
and commotions he always seized upon the man who had dubbed him
wrongly. And it was his idea, vaguely formulated, that his corpse would
be for those eyes a great and salt reproach.
The regiment bled extravagantly. Grunting bundles of blue began to
drop. The orderly sergeant of the youth's company was shot through the
cheeks. Its supports being injured, his jaw hung afar down, disclosing
in the wide cavern of his mouth a pulsing mass of blood and teeth. And
with it all he made attempts to cry out. In his endeavor there was a dreadful
earnestness, as if he conceived that one great shriek would make him
well.
The youth saw him presently go rearward. His strength seemed
in nowise impaired. He ran swiftly, casting wild glances for
succor.
Others fell down about the feet of their companions. Some of
the wounded crawled out and away, but many lay still, their bodies twisted
into impossible shapes.
The youth looked once for his friend. He saw a vehement young
man, powder-smeared and frowzled, whom he knew to be him. The
lieutenant, also, was unscathed in his position at the rear. He had
continued to curse, but it was now with the air of a man who was using
his last box of oaths.
For the fire of the regiment had begun to wane and drip. The robust
voice, that had come strangely from the thin ranks, was growing rapidly
weak.
Chapter 23
The colonel came running along the back of the line. There
were other officers following him. "We must charge'm!" they
shouted. "We must charge'm!" they cried with resentful voices, as
if anticipating a rebellion against this plan by the men.
The youth, upon hearing the shouts, began to study the distance between
him and the enemy. He made vague calculations. He saw that to be
firm soldiers they must go forward. It would be death to stay in the
present place, and with all the circumstances to go backward would exalt
too many others. Their hope was to push the galling foes away
from the fence.
He expected that his companions, weary and stiffened, would have to be
driven to this assault, but as he turned toward them he perceived with a
certain surprise that they were giving quick and unqualified expressions of
assent. There was an ominous, clanging overture to the charge when the
shafts of the bayonets rattled upon the rifle barrels. At the yelled
words of command the soldiers sprang forward in eager leaps. There was
new and unexpected force in the movement of the regiment. A knowledge
of its faded and jaded condition made the charge appear like a paroxysm, a
display of the strength that comes before a final feebleness. The men
scampered in insane fever of haste, racing as if to achieve a sudden success
before an exhilarating fluid should leave them. It was a blind and despairing
rush by the collection of men in dusty and tattered blue, over a green sward
and under a sapphire sky, toward a fence, dimly outlined in smoke, from
behind which sputtered the fierce rifles of enemies.
The youth kept the bright colors to the front. He was waving
his free arm in furious circles, the while shrieking mad calls and
appeals, urging on those that did not need to be urged, for it seemed that
the mob of blue men hurling themselves on the dangerous group of
rifles were again grown suddenly wild with an enthusiasm of
unselfishness. From the many firings starting toward them, it looked as if
they would merely succeed in making a great sprinkling of corpses on the
grass between their former position and the fence. But they were in a state
of frenzy, perhaps because of forgotten vanities, and it made an exhibition
of sublime recklessness. There was no obvious questioning, nor figurings, nor
diagrams. There was, apparently, no considered loopholes. It appeared
that the swift wings of their desires would have shattered against the
iron gates of the impossible.
He himself felt the daring spirit of a savage, religion-mad. He was
capable of profound sacrifices, a tremendous death. He had no time for
dissections, but he knew that he thought of the bullets only as things that
could prevent him from reaching the place of his endeavor. There were
subtle flashings of joy within him that thus should be his mind.
He strained all his strength. His eyesight was shaken and dazzled
by the tension of thought and muscle. He did not see anything excepting
the mist of smoke gashed by the little knives of fire, but he knew that in it
lay the aged fence of a vanished farmer protecting the snuggled bodies of the
gray men.
As he ran a thought of the shock of contact gleamed in his mind. He
expected a great concussion when the two bodies of troops crashed
together. This became a part of his wild battle madness. He could feel
the onward swing of the regiment about him and he conceived of a thunderous,
crushing blow that would prostrate the resistance and spread consternation
and amazement for miles. The flying regiment was going to have a catapultian
effect. This dream made him run faster among his comrades, who were giving
vent to hoarse and frantic cheers.
But presently he could see that many of the men in gray did not intend
to abide the blow. The smoke, rolling, disclosed men who ran, their
faces still turned. These grew to a crowd, who retired
stubbornly. Individuals wheeled frequently to send a bullet at the blue
wave.
But at one part of the line there was a grim and obdurate group that
made no movement. They were settled firmly down behind posts and
rails. A flag, ruffled and fierce, waved over them and their rifles
dinned fiercely.
The blue whirl of men got very near, until it seemed that in truth there
would be a close and frightful scuffle. There was an expressed disdain
in the opposition of the little group, that changed the meaning of the cheers
of the men in blue. They became yells of wrath, directed, personal. The
cries of the two parties were now in sound an interchange of scathing
insults.
They in blue showed their teeth; their eyes shone all white. They
launched themselves as at the throats of those who stood resisting. The
space between dwindled to an insignificant distance.
The youth had centered the gaze of his soul upon that other flag. Its
possession would be high pride. It would express bloody minglings, near
blows. He had a gigantic hatred for those who made great difficulties
and complications. They caused it to be as a craved treasure of
mythology, hung amid tasks and contrivances of danger.
He plunged like a mad horse at it. He was resolved it should not
escape if wild blows and darings of blows could seize it. His own emblem,
quivering and aflare, was winging toward the other. It seemed there would
shortly be an encounter of strange beaks and claws, as of eagles.
The swirling body of blue men came to a sudden halt at close
and disastrous range and roared a swift volley. The group in gray
was split and broken by this fire, but its riddled body still fought. The
men in blue yelled again and rushed in upon it.
The youth, in his leapings, saw, as through a mist, a picture of four or
five men stretched upon the ground or writhing upon their knees with bowed
heads as if they had been stricken by bolts from the sky. Tottering
among them was the rival color bearer, whom the youth saw had been bitten
vitally by the bullets of the last formidable volley. He perceived this
man fighting a last struggle, the struggle of one whose legs are grasped
by demons. It was a ghastly battle. Over his face was the bleach
of death, but set upon it was the dark and hard lines of desperate
purpose. With this terrible grin of resolution he hugged his precious
flag to him and was stumbling and staggering in his design to go the way that
led to safety for it.
But his wounds always made it seem that his feet were retarded, held,
and he fought a grim fight, as with invisible ghouls fastened greedily upon
his limbs. Those in advance of the scampering blue men, howling cheers,
leaped at the fence. The despair of the lost was in his eyes as he glanced
back at them.
The youth's friend went over the obstruction in a tumbling heap and
sprang at the flag as a panther at prey. He pulled at it and, wrenching
it free, swung up its red brilliancy with a mad cry of exultation even as the
color bearer, gasping, lurched over in a final throe and, stiffening
convulsively, turned his dead face to the ground. There was much blood
upon the grass blades.
At the place of success there began more wild clamorings of cheers. The
men gesticulated and bellowed in an ecstasy. When they spoke it was as
if they considered their listener to be a mile away. What hats and caps were
left to them they often slung high in the air.
At one part of the line four men had been swooped upon, and they now sat
as prisoners. Some blue men were about them in an eager and curious
circle. The soldiers had trapped strange birds, and there was an
examination. A flurry of fast questions was in the air.
One of the prisoners was nursing a superficial wound in the foot. He
cuddled it, baby-wise, but he looked up from it often to curse with an
astonishing utter abandon straight at the noses of his captors. He
consigned them to red regions; he called upon the pestilential wrath of
strange gods. And with it all he was singularly free from recognition
of the finer points of the conduct of prisoners of war. It was as if a
clumsy clod had trod upon his toe and he conceived it to be his privilege,
his duty, to use deep, resentful oaths.
Another, who was a boy in years, took his plight with great calmness and
apparent good nature. He conversed with the men in blue, studying their
faces with his bright and keen eyes. They spoke of battles and
conditions. There was an acute interest in all their faces during this
exchange of view points. It seemed a great satisfaction to hear voices from
where all had been darkness and speculation.
The third captive sat with a morose countenance. He preserved
a stoical and cold attitude. To all advances he made one
reply without variation, "Ah, go t' hell!"
The last of the four was always silent and, for the most part, kept his
face turned in unmolested directions. From the views the youth received
he seemed to be in a state of absolute dejection. Shame was upon him, and
with it profound regret that he was, perhaps, no more to be counted in the
ranks of his fellows. The youth could detect no expression that would
allow him to believe that the other was giving a thought to his narrowed
future, the pictured dungeons, perhaps, and starvations and brutalities,
liable to the imagination. All to be seen was shame for captivity and regret
for the right to antagonize.
After the men had celebrated sufficiently they settled down behind the
old rail fence, on the opposite side to the one from which their foes had
been driven. A few shot perfunctorily at distant marks.
There was some long grass. The youth nestled in it and
rested, making a convenient rail support the flag. His friend,
jubilant and glorified, holding his treasure with vanity, came to him
there. They sat side by side and congratulated each other.
Chapter 24
The roarings that had stretched in a long line of sound across the face
of the forest began to grow intermittent and weaker. The stentorian speeches
of the artillery continued in some distant encounter, but the crashes of the
musketry had almost ceased. The youth and his friend of a sudden looked up,
feeling a deadened form of distress at the waning of these noises, which had
become a part of life. They could see changes going on among the
troops. There were marchings this way and that way. A battery wheeled
leisurely. On the crest of a small hill was the thick gleam of many departing
muskets.
The youth arose. "Well, what now, I wonder?" he said. By
his tone he seemed to be preparing to resent some new monstrosity in the
way of dins and smashes. He shaded his eyes with his grimy hand and
gazed over the field.
His friend also arose and stared. "I bet we're goin' t' git along
out of this an' back over th' river," said he.
"Well, I swan!" said the youth.
They waited, watching. Within a little while the regiment received
orders to retrace its way. The men got up grunting from the grass,
regretting the soft repose. They jerked their stiffened legs, and
stretched their arms over their heads. One man swore as he rubbed his
eyes. They all groaned "O Lord!" They had as many objections to this
change as they would have had to a proposal for a new battle.
They trampled slowly back over the field across which they had run in a
mad scamper.
The regiment marched until it had joined its fellows. The reformed
brigade, in column, aimed through a wood at the road. Directly they were in a
mass of dust-covered troops, and were trudging along in a way parallel to the
enemy's lines as these had been defined by the previous turmoil.
They passed within view of a stolid white house, and saw in front of it
groups of their comrades lying in wait behind a neat breastwork. A row of
guns were booming at a distant enemy. Shells thrown in reply were
raising clouds of dust and splinters. Horsemen dashed along the line of
intrenchments.
At this point of its march the division curved away from the field and
went winding off in the direction of the river. When the significance of this
movement had impressed itself upon the youth he turned his head and looked
over his shoulder toward the trampled and debris-strewed ground. He
breathed a breath of new satisfaction. He finally nudged his
friend. "Well, it's all over," he said to him.
His friend gazed backward. "B'Gawd, it is," he assented. They
mused.
For a time the youth was obliged to reflect in a puzzled and uncertain
way. His mind was undergoing a subtle change. It took moments for
it to cast off its battleful ways and resume its accustomed course of
thought. Gradually his brain emerged from the clogged clouds, and at
last he was enabled to more closely comprehend himself and
circumstance.
He understood then that the existence of shot and countershot was in the
past. He had dwelt in a land of strange, squalling upheavals and had
come forth. He had been where there was red of blood and black of
passion, and he was escaped. His first thoughts were given to
rejoicings at this fact.
Later he began to study his deeds, his failures, and his achievements.
Thus, fresh from scenes where many of his usual machines of reflection had
been idle, from where he had proceeded sheeplike, he struggled to marshal all
his acts.
At last they marched before him clearly. From this present
view point he was enabled to look upon them in spectator fashion
and criticise them with some correctness, for his new condition
had already defeated certain sympathies.
Regarding his procession of memory he felt gleeful and unregretting, for
in it his public deeds were paraded in great and shining prominence. Those
performances which had been witnessed by his fellows marched now in wide
purple and gold, having various deflections. They went gayly with
music. It was pleasure to watch these things. He spent
delightful minutes viewing the gilded images of memory.
He saw that he was good. He recalled with a thrill of joy
the respectful comments of his fellows upon his conduct.
Nevertheless, the ghost of his flight from the first engagement appeared
to him and danced. There were small shoutings in his brain about these
matters. For a moment he blushed, and the light of his soul flickered
with shame.
A specter of reproach came to him. There loomed the dogging memory
of the tattered soldier--he who, gored by bullets and faint of blood, had
fretted concerning an imagined wound in another; he who had loaned his last
of strength and intellect for the tall soldier; he who, blind with weariness
and pain, had been deserted in the field.
For an instant a wretched chill of sweat was upon him at the thought
that he might be detected in the thing. As he stood persistently before
his vision, he gave vent to a cry of sharp irritation and agony.
His friend turned. "What's the matter, Henry?" he demanded. The
youth's reply was an outburst of crimson oaths.
As he marched along the little branch-hung roadway among his prattling
companions this vision of cruelty brooded over him. It clung near him always
and darkened his view of these deeds in purple and gold. Whichever way
his thoughts turned they were followed by the somber phantom of the desertion
in the fields. He looked stealthily at his companions, feeling sure that
they must discern in his face evidences of this pursuit. But
they were plodding in ragged array, discussing with quick tongues
the accomplishments of the late battle.
"Oh, if a man should come up an' ask me, I'd say we got a dum good
lickin'."
"Lickin'--in yer eye! We ain't licked, sonny. We're goin' down
here aways, swing aroun', an' come in behint 'em."
"Oh, hush, with your comin' in behint 'em. I've seen all 'a that I
wanta. Don't tell me about comin' in behint--"
"Bill Smithers, he ses he'd rather been in ten hundred battles than
been in that heluva hospital. He ses they got shootin' in th'
nighttime, an' shells dropped plum among 'em in th' hospital. He ses
sech hollerin' he never see."
"Hasbrouck? He's th' best off'cer in this here reg'ment. He's a
whale."
"Didn't I tell yeh we'd come aroun' in behint 'em? Didn't I tell yeh
so? We--"
"Oh, shet yeh mouth!"
For a time this pursuing recollection of the tattered man took all
elation from the youth's veins. He saw his vivid error, and he was
afraid that it would stand before him all his life. He took no share in the
chatter of his comrades, nor did he look at them or know them, save when he
felt sudden suspicion that they were seeing his thoughts and scrutinizing
each detail of the scene with the tattered soldier.
Yet gradually he mustered force to put the sin at a distance. And at
last his eyes seemed to open to some new ways. He found that he could
look back upon the brass and bombast of his earlier gospels and see them
truly. He was gleeful when he discovered that he now despised
them.
With this conviction came a store of assurance. He felt a
quiet manhood, nonassertive but of sturdy and strong blood. He knew
that he would no more quail before his guides wherever they should
point. He had been to touch the great death, and found that, after all, it
was but the great death. He was a man.
So it came to pass that as he trudged from the place of blood and wrath
his soul changed. He came from hot plowshares to prospects of clover
tranquilly, and it was as if hot plowshares were not. Scars faded as
flowers.
It rained. The procession of weary soldiers became a
bedraggled train, despondent and muttering, marching with churning
effort in a trough of liquid brown mud under a low, wretched sky. Yet the
youth smiled, for he saw that the world was a world for him, though many
discovered it to be made of oaths and walking sticks. He had rid himself of
the red sickness of battle. The sultry nightmare was in the past.
He had been an animal blistered and sweating in the heat and pain of
war. He turned now with a lover's thirst to images of tranquil skies,
fresh meadows, cool brooks--an existence of soft and eternal peace.
Over the river a golden ray of sun came through the hosts of leaden rain
clouds.
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